Fresh Starts

Ali shares their experience of being accepted at university and having a fresh start.

- Ali

I will never forget seeing the word 'Accepted' appear on my phone. I had been cautiously checking my phone that night with the knowledge that university responses to my various applications were due yet tried to remain nonchalant in my eagerness. Until that point, I’d had a lifetime of experiences away from higher education, having 'missed my chance' at the traditional age, and had resolved that I would never have the opportunity. 

At the traditional age of seventeen, I didn’t have the necessary grades or attitude to go to university and instead was thrust into the customer service sector where I predominantly spent 13 years dwelling. While there were happy times during this period, I felt a pervasive sense of longing and sadness at a missed and life-changing opportunity, resigned to being on the treadmill of unsatisfying jobs, patchwork courses, and unfulfilled dreams.  

Nothing could have prepared me when my phone notified me I had an email via UCAS.  "You have been accepted ...". The shock washed over me, and I felt it saturate every inch of me. My partner was all cheers and celebrations at this first step and yet all I could do was sit there frozen. I then burst into tears, much to their surprise. After thirty or so minutes of crying, I was finally able to share with my partner what that word meant to me. My tears were of course happy ones but were also tears of relief that the fight was over and I’d won. This was my chance. My chance to change the direction of my life, a chance to get off the treadmill. In short, my chance for a fresh start.  

Of course, my subsequent fresh start at university has had various unhappy times, lest I give the impression of a romantic or unrealistic view of higher education. Financial worries, COVID-19 restrictions, and family emergencies plus the anticipated yet ever-underappreciated 'usual' university experiences and stress.  And yet, every time I walk on campus I get a familiar sense of belonging, of embracing a new chapter in my life. It's massive. It's scary. It's exciting. Its mine. My fresh start.

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available. 

Hi, I'm Ali. I'm sharing my uni stories and experiences in the hope they may help someone.

It’s not a choice it’s a disorder

CN: discussion of anxiety I am constantly on. 

Anna, President of Student Minds Cambridge, writes about her experience with mental illness. Republished from the Student Minds Cambridge blog: https://studentmindscambridge.wordpress.com/our-blog-speak-your-mind/. 

- Anna Mckeon 

It feels as if I am buzzing. Not the good kind of buzzing though; not that hum of excitement ahead of meeting up with friends or the anticipation before an evening out. No, it is the unrelenting, uncomfortable sensation of feeling permanently anxious. It is the kind of buzz that I desperately wish I could turn off so that for once, I could feel even the vaguest semblance of calm.

You see, almost every day I feel this way – on edge, on guard, constantly on adrenaline. My limbs ache as if the blood running through them is acidic, my face burns and my brain feels like a swollen cactus, pulsing and spiking. My mouth is dry, my throat tight and my voice shaking. My stomach, like the rest of me, is in knots. And I rock backwards and forwards, holding my hands together in an attempt to keep myself from being sick.

Sometimes I’ll go a day, or even a few days where I’m free of this all, but sadly that is not often. Most of the time, I can just about manage to keep my head above the water. I can bear it if all is going to plan but when something goes wrong, I fall apart almost instantly. It doesn’t have to be an existential disaster, but something doesn’t have to be truly awful to completely knock me off balance. For instance, my supervisor providing me with some negative feedback on an essay can be enough for everything to feel much tougher.

When I handed it in, I knew that it was not a strong piece of work. However, it is painful and even embarrassing to have that spelled out so blatantly. Immediately the feelings of self-doubt flood back along with the sinking feeling that I shouldn’t be at Cambridge and I recall my old teacher’s sneer when I mentioned applying to Oxbridge. “It’s just an essay.” Yes, I know. But having that kind of perspective does not keep the panic and distress at bay.

It may seem illogical getting so upset about one essay, one essay that does not count and will doubtless be forgot in a couple of days. However, my body will still respond as if the world is burning and it is entirely my fault. As someone so naturally inclined towards self-criticism, it takes a lot of effort to remind myself that actually, this response is part of having an illness and it isn’t my fault. Even writing this is difficult – I feel a part of myself sneering that I’m just making excuses, that I’m lazy, unintelligent, incapable etc. etc. etc. The list always goes on.

I cling desperately on to my diagnosis to convince myself that yes, I am truly suffering here and I have a doctor’s note to prove it. At the same time, I know that if a friend was in my situation, I would recognise their struggle.  I think that the reason why I can’t seem to show the same compassion to myself is perhaps part of the anxiety – it feeds off of self-doubt, and what better way to strengthen itself than convince me, the sufferer, that it is all in my imagination and that there is no need to get help? I certainly can’t claim to have mastered the art, but being kind to ourselves does seem so important.

For more support on balancing online grad courses and adult life, you can check out additional Student Minds resources here. 

My name is Anna and I'm a final-year history student at the University of Cambridge. My experiences with anxiety and OCD have prompted me to get involved with initiatives to help people struggling with their mental health and alongside being President of Student Minds Cambridge, I am a Crisis Volunteer for Shout, the UK's free, confidential, 24/7 text support service.

My Snapchat initiative — It’s time to speak up

Adam shares his experience of and reflections on setting up a mental health initiative, a Snapchat “Check-in” amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

- Adam

Lockdown — it is something we have never experienced before in our lifetime. The virus itself is costing lives, whilst quarantine is having an impact in several other ways. At the end of April, I set up a mental health initiative — and I want to tell you all about it. 

In an attempt to get more people talking about mental health, I released my own ‘check-in’ format, encouraging people to pop up with a certain colour and talk about how they are currently feeling in the midst of this lockdown. With well over 200 people regularly viewing my Snapchat story, this was an idea that I thought could surely take off.

My Snapchat "Check-in" initiative

From what I have seen with different initiatives, more and more people are now seemingly opening up about their mental health, something that has been long overdue. I had the number of people viewing my Snapchat story, I had the right sort of idea and I felt that it was just a waiting game to see who would get involved. 

For anyone wondering why I posted these Snapchat stories at stupid o’clock (1 am), it was purely because people are usually on their own at night, perhaps when they are also most vulnerable. Although going to sleep at 3 am and waking up at 11 am was not everyone’s cup of tea, it was worth it. From having a simple conversation with someone, you can potentially save a life.

Although my “check-in” never really got off the ground, some viewers did take the opportunity to open up. I was honoured that some people who do not even know me trusted me with their stories of struggle. If you open up to someone, they will often be grateful for the trust that you have placed in them. From there, they can often point you in the right direction with advice that could be very useful. Meanwhile, the proportion of people popping up with a red or black circle was also scary. It indeed makes you realise that some people are in bigger danger than you think. 

In the past few years, we have come a long way as a society in speaking out about mental health problems. But the low percentage of people participating has taught me that there is still a long way to go, especially with the unforgiving platform of social media. 

Although #BeKind has been trending after the tragic death of Caroline Flack, many people are still worried about opening up about their mental health issues on social media platforms, fearing unwanted backlashes or unempathetic comments.

Moreover, you never know what someone is going through beneath their everyday facade - mental scars do not often show in a physical form. Bearing this in mind, let’s be kinder to each other. Because not only has the coronavirus created an imminent threat to our physical health, but it has also had a major impact on our mental health. For people who were already suffering mentally before this crisis began, the virus has now become an even bigger obstacle. 

However, this is a hurdle that we can and will overcome. 

It will be a group effort. Everyone needs to play their small part by asking the simplest question: ‘How are you?’ That is how people often start a conversation - and it is so important that we continue to do so. The simple act of asking how people are coping can be a beacon of light to those who are in their darkest moment. 

If you are currently suffering, this is a message for you: Whether it is a friend, family, colleague, or partner—please try to play your part in return and talk to someone you feel comfortable opening up to. At first, I found it difficult to speak out about how I felt because I felt guilty. After a while, the guilt started to fade and problems started to feel lighter. I have come to realise that there is no shame in talking to someone about how you feel. 

By opening up and sharing your story, you may just save your own life and help to save others by giving them the courage to speak out. This old saying is especially relevant now: a problem shared is a problem halved. 

Play your part in this epidemic and help to save lives by speaking out, and in return, providing a listening ear to those who need it most if you have the mental strength to do so.

For more information Student Space is here to make it easier for you to find the support you need during the coronavirus pandemic.

You can find more resources on supporting yourself and supporting a friend on Student Minds Find Support page.  More resources on looking after your wellbeing during the coronavirus pandemic here. 

I'm Adam, a Journalism and Media Production student at the University for the Creative Arts in Farnham. Over the past few years, I have written hundreds of articles at both a local and national level - including the Daily Express. As well as writing about mental health, I cover current affairs, sport, politics and education in my quest to serve the general public.

5 reasons I am Using My Voice

Rosie shares 5 reasons why she is using her voice this University Mental Health Day.

- Rosie Steele

1. To highlight what is great at my university.

My university offers great Wellbeing services from drop-in counselling to mindfulness sessions, presentation anxiety courses and the always loved therapy dogs. However, so many students are not aware of what is on offer or do not know where to look for the help they may need. My aim for this University Mental Health Day is to Use My Voice to highlight the help on offer, how it can be accessed and why it is important that as a university community we celebrate what is offered. With a third of students reporting psychological distress (Berwick, 2008) greater visibility of the services will help to cement LJMU as a university that centres wellbeing providing students with the potential to take agency over their own wellbeing whilst at the university. 

2. But also, what needs to be improved on.

Real change comes when we collectively use our voices to create change. From listening to other students in my role as a student campaigns group leader, certain things crop up time and time again including more accessible services across the whole campus and more personal contact with university staff. So, when the bad times do come they feel confident to reach out. Unfortunately, I cannot achieve this alone but through using my voice I can attend university-wide wellbeing meetings and take the student voice with me, re-telling the stories I am told at society meetings to ensure I am using my voice for good, involving the whole student community.

3. To show that I am always willing to listen.

For me, using my own voice to speak up about student mental health is only one part of a double-sided coin. This past year I have really come to learn that because I am now comfortable in talking about my mental health does not mean everybody is or that they feel they have somebody to open up to. This University Mental Health Day I want to Use My Voice to show I am always willing to listen and the importance of listening when individuals find the confidence to open up.

When I opened up to a new housemate in my third year about my mental health after a particularly bad panic attack, she made the effort to ask me how I was every single day, and we would talk in our tiny kitchen whilst we ate. I don’t think she realised how much those three little words, how are you, helped me tackle the murky waters of the third year or how her voice helped me. Due to how the voices of others have helped me, I want to make sure I am that person to other students and continue to provide a safe space for open conversation in our campaign group meetings.


4. To show other students that it is okay to need help.

Throughout my undergraduate degree I had the opinion that it was not okay to be struggling mentally, especially with the workload, or with anxiety around achieving certain grades as I did not see these problems that would be taken seriously and I had chosen to be there. The student stereotype is so focused on a particular version of student life which usually involves going out and having the best three years of your life. This is not the case for everybody, but can often look this way. When I started talking I started to hear stories similar to my own, of going home at weekends and intense loneliness when I was so certain nobody else was feeling like I was.

I will Use My Voice on the 7th of March and beyond to show that there is not one cookie cutter student, we are all different and all react differently to the pressures that come with being a student, and that is okay. No problem is too trivial and it is always okay to ask for help when it is needed, and that help should always be received.

5. To encourage others to use their voice

It can be very easy for someone like me who runs a campaigns group and both blogs and speaks about my own mental health very openly to talk about how easy it is to use your voice or even to start the conversation to ask for help at the university.

However, I understand that is not always the case, as I too was once extremely scared of the reaction I would receive and would it affect how I was treated? Asking for help at university is the hardest thing I have ever done, as I was extreme distress when I finally asked for help.

Now I will always encourage people to use their voice in small ways. To ask for help when it is needed, to have the courage to tell a lecturer you are struggling or to open up with a friend for the first time.

Through using my voice, I hope to share with my fellow students that conversations do not need to be big, or at a university-wide level, or even happening every single day but they do need to be happening, for ourselves and to inspire change. Find out how you can use your voice.

Hi, I am Rosie is a MA Mass Communications student from Liverpool John Moores and am president of LJMU Student Minds campaign group. 

I use my voice to promote change around student mental health

Michael shares the three main reasons why he uses his voice and why you should too.

- Michael Priestly

Over the last couple of years I have used my voice to promote change around student mental health. In particular, I have been involved with various mental health campaigns and written blog posts for Student Minds Blog. This University Mental Health Day I am using my voice loudly and proudly, even speaking at two mental health events at my University. 

There are three main reasons why I choose to use my voice, and, I believe, you should too:

First, to help others. I aim to use my voice as a positive and empowering step to helping and supporting others. I hope that, by using my voice, I can help students that might be struggling to feel less alone, raise awareness of the support available, and encourage help-seeking behaviours so that everyone feels able and comfortable to speak up and ask for help when they need to. I fundamentally believe that we can all help each other out by sharing experiences, strategies and advice for managing certain challenges and staying mentally healthy at university. Reading the Student Minds' Blog and hearing others’ tips for managing some of the stress of university life has really helped me and my wellbeing, and I hope that by using my voice I might offer the same to other students.

Second, to help me. As someone who for a long time found it very difficult to talk about my own mental health or recognise and accept when I needed support, the journey to using my voice has helped me to make sense of and learn from my experiences. By using my voice, I have developed my own self-understanding and self-confidence, helping me on my journey to self-acceptance and better mental wellbeing. Not only this, but it has helped me to become more self-aware of the signs that I might be struggling, and more comfortable to speak up and ask for help when I need it. For me, it can feel both empowering and rewarding to tell your own story in your own voice!

Third, to promote change. By using our collective voices, I believe that together we can change the state of student mental health. For me this is change both at an individual level, in terms of raising awareness and understanding, and improving mental health literacy so that everyone feels able to use their voice to ask for help and support when they need it. Speaking up can also help to challenge the stigma and address some of the misunderstandings around mental health difficulties. In addition, I believe that by listening to the voices and experiences of everyone, this can help to identify and promote positive structural changes for student mental health and wellbeing. This could be changes to mentally unhealthy social and education policies, practices and structures, and/or improvements to the support available to students.

It took me a long time to feel comfortable using my voice. I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, and I was scared of saying the ‘wrong thing’ and what other people would think of me if I did. Since using my voice though, I have received nothing but love and support - even when I really did not expect to!

We all have mental health, we all have a voice and we all have stories to share. So how will you use your voice and what will using your voice mean for you this University Mental Health Day? Find our how you can get involved.

Hi, I'm Michael. I'm a postgraduate student at Durham. I want to write for Student Minds to share my own experiences of depression and anxiety and tackle the stigma around mental health.

We are using our voices to make student mental health less of a taboo

Aneeska shares the power of using your voice and the activities happening at University of York Student Minds.

- Aneeska Sohal 

University of York Student Minds are using our voices with the hope of making student mental health less of a taboo, and mobilising the various university forces to do so.

This term we have undertaken a variety of campaigns and events to achieve this. In January, we teamed up with the University of York Students Union (YUSU) for ‘Keep your Cool’ week. The week takes place during the exam and deadline spell, and our mission was to use our voices to help the students around us get through this stressful time. The York Student Minds committee and our volunteer group worked together and wrote out personal, positive post-it note messages. These included tips on taking a break during the busyness of working, including relaxing places on campus to go to, as well self-care advice – such as taking out time for yourself and going for a walk or catching up with friends. We then scattered these notelets around the library, and it was great to see the reaction to these! Students tagged us on social media thanking us for the notes they had received, and it was great to be able to brighten up a fellow student’s day! We were able to use our voices to relax and support the university community around us.

Due to the success of the work carried out we were approached with a podcast opportunity by a fellow student, Danny Bowman - the Head of Campaigns at the think tank Parliament Street. As the President of University of York Student Minds, I chatted to Danny about the challenges of university life, and the work we are undertaking to help students work through these difficulties. The podcast was included on the Parliament Street website, and it was great to have an opportunity to use my voice to talk about the work we are doing to a wide group of listeners. The link for the podcast can be found here.

Later in the term, the committee ran a ‘Here to Listen’ event. Students from across the university community studying different subjects came along, as well students who are involved in other mental health groups on campus, including University of York Mental Health Awareness Society. The aim of the event was to use the voices of students from different pockets of university life to gain feedback on the mental health support at the University of York. Some of the points of discussion included; the strengths and weaknesses of the support offered from different subject departments, as well as the GP services. We are now taking this feedback, and using our voices to talk to the necessary departments and support services, in the hope of making changes at a grassroots level.

Recently, the University of York Student Minds branch collaborated with the university’s Literature Society. At the event ‘The Power of Words’, we invited students to come along and use their voices to discuss works which have helped with their mental health. The committee scribed the titles of these works as we went along– which ranged from poetry anthologies, self-help books to novels – and soon we will be publishing this extensive list on our social media platforms. We hope these works will be able to help other students too!

It has been great to use our voices in various ways this term, and we look forward to continuing with this momentum in the summer term! Find out how you can campaign and use your voice today!

Hello, I am Aneeska and I am President of the University of York Student Minds. You can find out more about our work here.