Making Friends At University

Stavros shares his top tips for making friends to new students who are starting their university journey. 

- Stavros

Before I moved to the UK for my studies, I used to be confident and surrounded by friends. Socialising was never a problem for me; I even considered myself an extrovert. I used to go out almost every night, party all the time, weekly road trips. My hometown was small, so most people my age knew me well. I had a solid group of friends who shared my interests, and life felt easy and vibrant. 

When I decided to study in the UK, I didn’t think about the challenges of starting over. Why should I face any kind of difficulty? 

Stepping onto the university campus felt like returning to school. I thought I’d find a community of adults, but instead, I felt like a child among adults. All my social skills vanished, and every English word I had painstakingly learned slipped away. It felt like I was in a bad teen comedy movie again.  

In my first two years, I managed to go to the university nightclub a few times and attended two house parties but my social skills were still underdeveloped, and I was never the first to reach out. I wanted friends, but part of me didn’t. Friends from home pressured me to socialise, but I had no energy to build a new social life from scratch. I often compared my current situation to my vibrant life back home, where friendships flowed easily.  

I started to compare my social life to the one I had a couple of months ago. I then realised that I was the one who was getting in my way with all these expectations and high standards.  

When I moved to the UK, I knew that everything was going to change. I wanted a change in my life and although I felt like the happiest man with the friends that I had, I felt like this challenge was a calling that would help me become my best version. My Grandma has always told me and still does to this day “We sacrifice something in order to win something” and it has stuck with me (I swear it sounds beautiful in Greek). 

The third year came and I moved to a student accommodation. If I had to give some wisdom to the readers of the story, I would tell everyone who is a student to live in a student accommodation, at least for the first year. I wish I knew that. The reason I had not stayed in the previous years was mostly because I was terrified by the thought of being surrounded by so many people. It turned out to be the best decision I made during university. I made friends, I exchanged knowledge and advice, we shared dishes and experiences from our cultures, we laughed and I finally found my voice again. I was finally funny again, extrovert, sociable, interesting, young. I was me again and I had forgotten about it for a long time during my studies. I joined the British Sign Language Class to learn a new skill and all of a sudden I met my best friend.  

My take-home message, what I realised at least for myself during those three years and what I wish someone would have told me is that:  

• PLEASE start university without expectations and high standards. You might have been popular in your neighbourhood or have had too many friends, but here this mindset might get in your way once you realise that you have to start from scratch.  
• PLEASE do not compare what you had with what you have. Everything and everyone is different and that is the beauty of it.  
• YES some days will be bad and some days will be good. Some months might be full of laughter and some months might be full of tears. But unexpected things happen all the time and it will happen ever more once you start exposing yourself. 

I also discovered that I’m not purely an extrovert, and that realisation was liberating. Listening to my body’s needs and embracing my true self made me feel more at peace. I learned that it’s okay to have moments of introversion and that balance is essential. 

Long story short, University is a rollercoaster. Buckle Up! 

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog. You can also find support at Student Space.

I am a Psychology graduate and currently doing my Master's in Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuropsychology in London. When I first got into University I struggled a lot with my mental health and making friends. By sharing this story I hope students who struggle with making friends can relate to the situation I was in and find comfort when they realise that my stories always have a happy ending.

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

Stavros is struggling between doing all those things he had dreamed about and having to manage his fear that is getting in the way.

- Stavros

I don’t particularly enjoy taking walks in parks. Please don’t judge me when I say this, but I have to admit that walks in parks often feel like a messy plate filled with all kinds of vegetables, scattered unevenly in terms of colour and shape. People running, children screaming, dogs barking… I prefer taking naps alone. There’s no room for excitement, but there’s also no room for drama. Have I ever taken walks in parks?
— No.
Do I need to, though, to judge whether it’s worth it?
— Probably. But honestly, I really enjoy taking naps. 

Before moving to the UK three years ago, I used to be THE FUN back in Greece. If you were to spell my name, it would most likely be F.U.N. Naps were boring back then; only fun existed. After years of being “FUN”, I decided it was time to switch on the “CAREER” mode and maybe avoid paying the electricity bill for leaving the “FUN” switch on. Does that even make sense? I had bills to pay and could only afford to have one switch turned on, and “FUN” was really expensive.     

No one really prepares you for what it’s like to move abroad and say goodbye to your loved ones, starting over from scratch, being again at level zero. I mean, I don’t even remember when I was at zero; even in kindergarten, I’d say I was a solid four. Don’t even get me started on primary school, where I was a ten since I played in a movie and suddenly became the new Johnny Depp in town. How would I socialise in English all of a sudden? How would I make friends? These people wouldn’t even know about my long acting career.     

But seriously, how would I ever overcome my fear of exposure? Since moving to the UK, I’ve started to think about all the ways everything could go wrong. Watching myself miss out on all the fun activities and cool opportunities because of this fear isn’t fun or cool at all. I came here because I’ve always dreamed big. I still have big dreams, but I keep convincing myself that I shouldn’t change how I perceive things and that one day, a huge opportunity will come knocking at my door. I’d be wearing white because it’s not considered a colour, and I don’t want the colour police after me on my big breakthrough. But after nearly four years, I guess my home address got lost along the way.     

Did I mention I dream big? I really do. I can see what I could have achieved if it weren’t for this fear of failure, this fear of exposure, this fear of… people? I want to be everything, everywhere, all at once. I want to make friends, land the best job, and achieve what usually takes years of hard work. Yet, if you were to hand it to me, I’d be scared to even consider it. I keep asking myself why it’s so difficult to let myself fail at something.     

Failure isn’t bad, is it? Failure is what turns this journey into a whole movie instead of just a snapshot. It’s what creates a full song instead of the same note on repeat. The inner me knows this, but my fear keeps getting in the way of what I feel I’m meant to do. As I write this while walking back home from picking up my favourite cheese and crackers, I realise I’ve walked past my house and entered the local park. I must have been walking for quite some time now, as I’ve nearly traversed the entire park. Wait, was that it? Did I just have my first walk in the park without anything going wrong? What about the messy plate of vegetables? Why does what I see look more like an art piece? Why didn’t my fear stop me? Is my fear a friend dragging me down unintentionally, but deep down, I’m the one who has to lift them up? Why do I sound so sophisticated right now? Should I consider writing blogs for mental health charities? Wow, that would be a huge step for me. But for now, this is enough. I am enough. Tomorrow, I want to be everything, everywhere, all at once, but today I just had my first walk in the park, and I LOVED IT.  

"Fun Switch” on Xoxo, S

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog. You can also find support at Student Space.

I am a Psychology Grad and a MSc student in Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuropsychology.  Writing for me is a form of expression and I figured that other people who express themselves in the same way might relate to my stories as I have found myself relating to many of theirs. 

Why It’s Okay Not to Have Everything Figured Out After Graduation

Julia reflects on the stress and uncertainty of life after graduation, exploring the pressures of choosing a career and embracing the freedom to explore multiple paths. 

- Julia Zablocka

Graduating from university is often celebrated as a huge milestone, but for many of us, it brings a mix of stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. The pressure to immediately figure out a career can feel overwhelming. We’re expected to choose a path at 18 and stick with it for the rest of our lives—but is that really realistic in today’s world?  

It wasn’t always like this. Back in the Renaissance, people were encouraged to explore a range of disciplines, and having a broad set of skills was seen as a strength. Leonardo da Vinci, for example, wasn’t just a painter famous for the Mona Lisa—he was also an inventor, scientist, and engineer. He designed things like early tanks and mechanical robots, embodying what we now call a "Renaissance soul." His life was built around curiosity and learning, not being tied to just one thing.  

Fast forward to now, and the idea of being multidisciplinary has faded. We’re often told to specialise and choose one career. But in a world where many of the jobs we’ll have in the future don’t even exist yet, how does that make sense? Just five years ago, most of us wouldn’t have thought jobs in AI would be a major career path, and now they’re everywhere. As a recent graduate, I’ve felt this pressure firsthand. I found myself questioning how to move forward when the idea of a "single career" seems out of touch with reality. I am not the same person I was at 18, and I won’t be the same person in 10 years. It’s daunting to be expected to have everything figured out now. The stress comes not only from the fear of making the "wrong" choice but also from the idea that I should know exactly what I want for the rest of my life when I’m still discovering who I am. 

It’s okay not to have a clear, defined path. If history has taught us anything, it’s that being curious and exploring multiple passions can lead to incredible discoveries, both professionally and personally. Our society is constantly changing, and we’re allowed to change with it. We can be artists, scientists, inventors, or something completely different over the course of our lives – although this isn’t considered to be a popular opinion nowadays.  

For me, accepting this has been a significant part of managing my mental health. The uncertainty is still there, but I no longer feel trapped by the idea that I must choose one thing and stick with it forever. Instead, I try to embrace the fact that I will continue to grow and evolve, just like the world around me. We are allowed to have multiple interests and this should be encouraged. 

Oscar Wilde once said, "If you know exactly what you want to be in life, you will become it; and that is your punishment". It is a privilege to not know what you want to be in life and have the opportunity to reinvent yourself.  

I hope that by sharing my experience, other graduates, or anyone who’s feeling the pressure to have everything sorted, can find some comfort. It’s okay not to have everything planned out. Instead of feeling weighed down by the idea of choosing just one path, let’s embrace the possibilities. Life is about exploring, and it’s okay to take our time.

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog. You can also find support at Student Space.

Hi, my name is Julia and I'm a recent psychology graduate. Like many others, I've felt the pressure of trying to figure out my career path. I'm sharing my story to remind others that there are many people in the same position as them and it's okay not to have everything figured out.