Why It’s Okay Not to Have Everything Figured Out After Graduation

Julia reflects on the stress and uncertainty of life after graduation, exploring the pressures of choosing a career and embracing the freedom to explore multiple paths. 

- Julia Zablocka

Graduating from university is often celebrated as a huge milestone, but for many of us, it brings a mix of stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. The pressure to immediately figure out a career can feel overwhelming. We’re expected to choose a path at 18 and stick with it for the rest of our lives—but is that really realistic in today’s world?  

It wasn’t always like this. Back in the Renaissance, people were encouraged to explore a range of disciplines, and having a broad set of skills was seen as a strength. Leonardo da Vinci, for example, wasn’t just a painter famous for the Mona Lisa—he was also an inventor, scientist, and engineer. He designed things like early tanks and mechanical robots, embodying what we now call a "Renaissance soul." His life was built around curiosity and learning, not being tied to just one thing.  

Fast forward to now, and the idea of being multidisciplinary has faded. We’re often told to specialise and choose one career. But in a world where many of the jobs we’ll have in the future don’t even exist yet, how does that make sense? Just five years ago, most of us wouldn’t have thought jobs in AI would be a major career path, and now they’re everywhere. As a recent graduate, I’ve felt this pressure firsthand. I found myself questioning how to move forward when the idea of a "single career" seems out of touch with reality. I am not the same person I was at 18, and I won’t be the same person in 10 years. It’s daunting to be expected to have everything figured out now. The stress comes not only from the fear of making the "wrong" choice but also from the idea that I should know exactly what I want for the rest of my life when I’m still discovering who I am. 

It’s okay not to have a clear, defined path. If history has taught us anything, it’s that being curious and exploring multiple passions can lead to incredible discoveries, both professionally and personally. Our society is constantly changing, and we’re allowed to change with it. We can be artists, scientists, inventors, or something completely different over the course of our lives – although this isn’t considered to be a popular opinion nowadays.  

For me, accepting this has been a significant part of managing my mental health. The uncertainty is still there, but I no longer feel trapped by the idea that I must choose one thing and stick with it forever. Instead, I try to embrace the fact that I will continue to grow and evolve, just like the world around me. We are allowed to have multiple interests and this should be encouraged. 

Oscar Wilde once said, "If you know exactly what you want to be in life, you will become it; and that is your punishment". It is a privilege to not know what you want to be in life and have the opportunity to reinvent yourself.  

I hope that by sharing my experience, other graduates, or anyone who’s feeling the pressure to have everything sorted, can find some comfort. It’s okay not to have everything planned out. Instead of feeling weighed down by the idea of choosing just one path, let’s embrace the possibilities. Life is about exploring, and it’s okay to take our time.

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog. You can also find support at Student Space.

Hi, my name is Julia and I'm a recent psychology graduate. Like many others, I've felt the pressure of trying to figure out my career path. I'm sharing my story to remind others that there are many people in the same position as them and it's okay not to have everything figured out. 

From the university bubble into the real world

Madeleine describes what life can be like after university and how she coped with moving to a new city for work.

- Madeleine Chamberlain

The transitional period of heading home after completing university can be a tricky one. When I graduated, I felt a little like I was regressing by being back in my parents' house. The growth and independence I had gained at university seemed a world away. This, along with the difficulty of the job hunt was not a nice concoction. It felt a little like limbo: I was no longer in the bubble of uni but nor was I fully in the real world. 

No longer being a walk away from various friends’ houses really hit me and I craved the connectivity of university. This feeling remained with me even after I landed my first graduate job. Moving to a new city can be hard when you’re not all pushed together and introduced like in freshers.   

However, I learnt that the important thing is to get yourself out there and focus on things you enjoy. Something as simple as a Bumble BFF meet-up led me to be a part of a whole new friendship group. I almost didn't go, feeling tired after a long day, but I’m so glad I did. The feeling of loneliness that I first felt when I moved slowly ebbed away and I started feeling like a part of something. I had also gotten lucky and had great work friends, but I think it’s important to branch out and meet people in different settings.   

It can feel strange to leave the bubble of university to enter the real world, start your first graduate job and make decisions for yourself. I, like many people, followed the route a lot of people take out of school and went to university. It was hard to realise that there is no paved road to take after this. I had to really think about what I wanted to do and what would make me happy. 

I by no means always made the best decisions and I’m sure I’ll make mistakes in the future. But I think the important thing is staying true to myself and making the best decision with the information I have at the time. 

So if you’ve just finished uni, don't be too hard on yourself if you’re struggling to decide what to do next. There’s time and there’s always a different route you can take.

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

I'm Madeleine, a graduate from the University of York. Having dealt with mental health problems, I am passionate about sharing my story to help others who may be able to relate.

What happens next?

As the end of the academic year approaches, the Editorial Team come together to share their thoughts on what comes next.

- Student Minds Editorial Team

✨ What happens next? ✨

⭐ Grace (Graduate): 

When I look back as a graduate at how my final year came to a close, it’s safe to say that things ended a little differently than usual. In fact, for me, there wasn’t much of an ending at all.

Alongside all the fun and friendship at uni, life for me had also been a little ‘Lemony Snicket-y’ (A Series of Unfortunate Events). It was only as my final exams approached that I reluctantly decided to take a leave of absence, despite my desire to push on. So, as my friends spent our last few weeks together shaking off their revision stress and celebrating the end of studying, I couldn’t help but feel like I was crashing a party (with my super noisy friends Disappointment, Worry and Embarrassment in tow.) 

However, now many months on (and with my degree finally in hand!), I wish I could tell my past self a few important things: 

1. Sometimes it’s ok to be on a different path to others - sometimes that’s exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to end up. 
2. Taking more time to reach a finish line takes nothing away from your own worth or achievement. 
3. One day you’ll be having your own ‘end of uni’ party, so for now, go dance with your friends. With them, you’re never just celebrating ‘an end’ because it was only ever just the beginning.

⭐ Sarah (Student): 

I’m not a final-year student, but I do feel like a chapter of my life is coming to a close. After spending my academic year on a placement abroad in Germany, I will be leaving the lifestyle and routine I’ve settled into, and the new home that I’ve made for myself. I always find it rather bittersweet when I know that things are temporary. I’m really trying to soak everything in here while I still can, taking an extra careful look at all the places I visit as it may be the last time I ever see them! Even the mundane things like my commute to work have become special, so I’m making sure to take photos for my future self to look back on nostalgically. As much as I dislike things coming to an end, I think it does enable me to appreciate the little things (and the big things!), and I’m really just grateful that I’ve had such wonderful experiences. It reminds me of the Winnie the Pooh quote: “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

⭐ Tayyibah (Student): 

As a final-year student, I always find the endings difficult. For me personally transitions and changes have never been easy but having ways to cope like having a goodbye meeting or days to plan out after university has finished is what has helped me to have a more positive outlook on the future. If you had asked me when I started my Early Childhood Studies degree at Derby 'Would I reach this far?', I wouldn’t be able to answer. To think of how much I have managed to achieve over the 3 years of my degree has been amazing and incredible to see. The growth I have made professionally and personally is definitely one to remember. I know that the support my friends and academic staff have given me has boosted my confidence and self-belief in knowing I can achieve anything. A quote I will leave you with is ‘You are stronger and braver than you think and more loved than you will ever know.’

⭐ Emily T (Student): 

As a History and Modern Languages student, my third year will be spent on a placement abroad. I am still a little uncertain about my plans at the moment, but I hope to be teaching English as a language assistant in Spain! 

Honestly, the thought of going on a year abroad makes me really nervous! From moving away from my support network to finding accommodation in an unfamiliar place, there will inevitably be lots of new challenges. Sometimes it’s difficult feeling anxious about my year abroad when it seems like everyone else is excited to be gearing up for what should be an experience of a lifetime. However, I know that living and working in Spain will be an amazing opportunity for academic and personal growth!

Looking forward, I am sure that when my plans are more concrete, I will start to feel much more excited about this new chapter in my life.

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

Written by the Student Minds Editorial Team.

University Mental Health Day 2022

Thursday 3rd March marks University Mental Health Day 2022. The Editorial Team have come together to share their thoughts and experiences on speaking out and seeking support as a student.

- Student Minds Blog Editorial Team

Chen-Chun (Student)

My university provides five free counselling sessions at the Student Services Centre for students who need help, and I have recently sought support from them. It was not an easy decision to make. I worried that I might be overreacting, so I hesitated while trying to seek support. The experience turned out to be really good and extremely helpful and I regretted not seeking support earlier.

 

Seeking support is okay and people working at universities are experienced, they will never judge you for asking for help and regard things that troubles you as insignificant.

Luke (Student)

The switch from living at home to university was exceptionally daunting, therefore the hardest part was reaching out. My university was quick in giving me an initial appointment where they facilitated open conversations where I felt safe to vocalise my initial anxieties. The appointments they provided were as frequent/infrequent as I wanted them to be. This really helped me not bottle things up which I began to.

They directed me towards an amazing NHS service which really helped me understand myself and my feelings. This experience really empowered me and enabled me to become a great talker and listener, and I feel I now have the tools to help others in similar situations.

Remember never to be afraid to ask for help!

Caoimhe (Graduate)

I personally didn't have to seek support while at university. As a student, I spent two years working with my university's mental health charity. As a mental health ambassador, I attended regular sessions and further training with Young Minds. 

I felt very grateful being in a position where people felt confident speaking with me expressing their struggles and worries. From these conversations, I would introduce these individuals to the support services on campus. It's rewarding helping people.

My university provided six free therapy sessions and raised awareness of mental health days throughout the year. 

If you are struggling, please seek support. You aren't alone!

Riley (Student)

I remember I needed help when I first came to London for my studies a few months ago, something really practical... for example, how to rent a flat, register a GP, even things like how to print at the school library. Sometimes I felt so ashamed to ask those kinds of questions because I thought those were so just stupid and small issues. 

Making good use of the university's service centre and joining the international students' community are the ways for seeking support.

It is okay to ask 'stupid' questions. I should forgive myself as a foreigner in a new place.

Sarah (Student)

Sometimes it can feel intimidating to reach out for support from student services. Although not a replacement for seeking professional help, peer support networks are a great way to talk to someone that understands the issues that students face. 

From my experience, peer support volunteers are all kind, empathetic, lovely people who are happy to listen to you and refer you to any relevant resources. 

No problem is too small, and this may just be the bridge you need to gain the confidence and encouragement to seek further help. Good luck!

Preksha (Student)

As an international student, I was far away from my comfort zone and initially culturally shocked - the systems, norms and even slang were all so different. I also experienced ‘imposter syndrome’ during my first term at Cambridge, constantly feeling like I did not deserve to be here. These situational challenges, when compounded, led to me being diagnosed with depression in the first few months of university. I struggled to create and maintain a healthy (and completely new) lifestyle of independence and productivity. My friends would encourage me when I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed or make myself a meal on most days. I was extremely fortunate to have found support professionally and in my friends. Despite initial hesitance, my friends and family encouraged me to reach out to the university's mental health services. This helped reassure me of the potential to recover, and guided me towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Many people are struggling like you, so don’t be afraid to reach out and get the help you need!

Fionnuala (Graduate)

 

My university offered many supports for students experiencing mental health problems. There was a free counselling service that offered students sessions with trained therapists. I used this service and found it very helpful.

If things were particularly tough and unmanageable around exam time there were policies in place allowing students to apply for extenuating circumstances which could postpone the examinations or allow a student to re-sit exams without penalty if they did not get a passing grade. There were disability support services for students that helped them to arrange accommodations to enable them to complete their education while managing mental health issues. 

Taylor (Student)

The stresses of university, exams and all the deadlines put pressure on everyone's mental health so rest assured that you're not alone there. You're equally not alone in wanting to seek support if that's what you feel is best for you. 

Speak out and get the support you need! It's much better to talk about the situation you find yourself in rather than suffer in silence.

And if you're not struggling with your mental health, then be there for your friends and loved ones. Let them lean on you for support and make sure they know that you're there for them.

Find out how you can make a difference on University Mental Health Day.

Written in collaboration by the Editorial Team. Find out more about them here.

The Relationship Between Anxiety and Graduation

Robin shares her experience with feeling the pressures and anxieties of knowing what comes next after graduation.

- Robin Sera

Anxiety and Post-Graduation are two things that go hand-in-hand. Questions such as ‘what do you want to do when you leave?’ and ‘what’s next?’ seem to be thrown at you from all directions and you don’t always necessarily have the answers. It can be a highly stressful time, especially when it feels like everyone around you expects you to have your entire life planned out when you have only just left education. 

I am someone who has always struggled with anxiety and depression, and I found that they both grew worse as my graduation date came closer and closer. I had no idea how to tell my family that, when I looked to my future beyond June 2021, all I saw was an empty blank space. When I felt I should have mapped out a career plan and solid goals for the next few years. I began to feel the pressure of knowing what I wanted to do next which began to heavily weigh down on my chest. I started struggling with sleep, leaving the house, and not talking about anything university-related, all of which made any pre-existing issues worse.  

What would my family think if I left university and had no plans set in stone for the future? What if I came back home and got stuck doing something that I hated for the foreseeable future? And worst of all, what if the three years of my degree had been wasted on someone who was never going to use it?  The feeling of being a disappointment to family, friends back home began to feel crushing. I found myself having daily panic attacks at the smallest of things, whether that be text messages from my parents or sending in rushed job applications to anything I could find on job-searching sites.  

I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone about what I was going through, worried that they would find me even more of a failure. It seemed everyone else around me had everything figured out perfectly fine.  That was, until one day I called my mum and just completely poured out every thought that had been shouting in my brain for the past three months day and night. 

She sat and she listened, not saying a word until I was ready to listen to what she had to say. Within moments, my worries about not being good enough or being a disappointment began to fizzle away as she told me she understood, and she would be there to support me in any way that I needed. She told me that she knew I was a naturally anxious person, but that my insecurities and doubts in myself didn’t come from anywhere real. 

No one was going to think about all the horrible things I thought about myself. No one was going to think I was a failure for not having a five-year plan following leaving university. No one except me was piling on this pressure for me to have everything fixed immediately. These things take time, and it’s incredibly important to give yourself kindness whilst things fall into place. If you are feeling overwhelmed, scared, or pressured it is always the better option to talk to someone about it. 

Letting these emotions pile up inside of yourself will ultimately make things worse! Reach out to someone you trust and support, ask them to just listen, and if needed, you can always come up with a step-by-step plan for what comes next together. It is okay to say ‘I don’t know’ when people ask what is next, there is time to figure things out, and it is not the end of the world to not have your whole life planned out at the age of 21 – or even at 50!  Allow yourself the space to breathe and take in the last moments of university before graduating without putting that heavy weight of pressure on yourself. 

Take 2022 as an opportunity to give yourself space and patience, especially when it comes to things that you would usually be anxious about, and remember that just because you feel that you are alone in feeling something, that doesn’t mean it’s true. It is always the better option to talk about these things with someone.

We know that experiencing mental health difficulties at university can feel overwhelming. Explore the support that is available at your university and further.

Hi, I’m Robin. I graduated from the University of Brighton in 2021 and found that my mental health went on its biggest journey whilst I was studying – for better and worse! I struggled with feelings of self-doubt hand-in-hand with depression for most of my time there but found joy in writing and having creative outlets such as writing.

Baby steps to post-collegiate health

Dustin shares his experience with addiction and how he took baby steps towards recovery.

-  Dustin Kemp

Back in 2019, I had just finished a graduate program at a branch of an American university located in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. I would love to say I had put my head down and doggedly pursued my studies like a good grad student, but the truth is that I got hopelessly lost along the way. To be more specific, I had developed a pair of nasty habits.

The first was smoking cigarettes. It had begun as a social activity I did with friends. Before too long, though, I started to really enjoy the feeling a cigarette gave me. And soon I stopped enjoying it and started to rely on it to maintain normality.

With  this dependence came negative feelings. Not only did the smoking itself make me feel lower-energy at all times, but the addiction brought on a feeling of helplessness I could not shake. I felt as if I was no longer in control of my life, which was an awful feeling.

My second dangerous habit was online gambling. I found it difficult to find exciting mental stimulation as a student in Vietnam… until I discovered online casinos. I went through the same phases with gambling addiction that I did with cigarettes; what started out as fun evolved into habit and then agonising dependence.

Unlike cigarettes, gambling did have a big impact on my bank account. My parents were sending me a large chunk of money each month at that point -- I’m lucky to come from a supportive background. But I was blowing nearly all of it on gambling.

I’ll always remember a line from the speech the dean gave on my university’s auditorium stage during graduation: “Now it is time for our graduates to begin their journey into the working world, and all the trials and tribulations that come with it.”

I took that line to heart, and I asked myself what those “trials and tribulations” would entail for me. Would I bring my demons with me? Would I continue sapping my health and losing money at a worrisome clip? The obvious answer was no, but I could hardly bring myself to stop those behaviours which had so quickly come to make up most of my identity… or so I felt at the time.

So instead of going cold turkey, I chose to take baby steps. My uncle (a reformed smoking addict) had told me about nicotine vapes that you can slowly decrease in nicotine content over time. I decided to give it a try, and I ordered one of the vapes from a local distributor.

Since then, I have very gradually decreased the nicotine content I smoke. I feel more clear-headed and I have a definite sense of pride in my own ability to make positive change that I never would have if I was still nursing my smoking habit. Eventually, I hope to get to 0% and, even further down the road, shed the vape completely. Baby steps.

For my online gambling addiction, I took another recommendation from a relative. My brother (who has always been much healthier than me) had for years been telling me to join him at a social casino he uses. He told me it’s free and it still provides the same mental stimulation as paid gambling through socialisation. When I realised online gambling would destroy my bank account (which my parents refused to continue supporting after I graduated), I decided to give the social casino idea a try.

And just like with the vape, I was astounded. I had always believed that the mental stimulation I needed could only be acquired through putting myself in dangerous situations, but that turned out to be totally false. Instead, I found stimulation by spending time with other happy, friendly individuals. And as an added benefit, I made friends online. Lots of them. It turns out healthy communities are actually a lot nicer than communities filled with addicts. Who knew?

I want to make it clear that I am not endorsing vapes or social casinos. I wish more than anything I had not started smoking or gambling in the first place, and that I did not need to use them as a coping mechanism. But I am endorsing baby steps. Almost everyone develops some kind of unhealthy habit, especially as a young person. And I want you to know that it is possible to kick those habits through small, incremental changes. Adopting a healthier lifestyle and removing negative habits from your life is a crucial part of success in the real world.

Read more about the small steps you can take to look after your wellbeing.

Dustin graduated from College of Wooster (USA) in 2010 and completed graduate studies at RMIT (Australia) in 2019. Since then, he has been focusing on mental health topics, especially addiction and recovery.

 

He currently lives in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, where he is learning to embrace life in a healthy and upwardly mobile way.

Surviving post-graduation blues

Eleanor shares her experience on finishing university and how COVID-19 has impacted on her struggles. She also gives her advice on how to overcome post-university blues.

- Eleanor Walker

Finishing university can be completely overwhelming, let alone during a global pandemic. My second semester of third year was probably the most stressful time of my life. I had constant deadlines to meet, an 8,000-word dissertation to write whilst trying to cope with the pressure of achieving my best mark. How would I be defined if I didn’t get the grade I wanted? These thoughts never left my mind.

In March 2020, COVID-19 began to impact many peoples' lives and it suddenly hit me that I had to return home for lockdown and leave university three months earlier than I had planned. I didn’t get the chance to say bye to all my friends or thank my lecturers for all their help with my work over the past three years. It was extremely hard finishing my dissertation and all my other assignments at home; there were so many distractions and I missed being at the library where I felt like I could be the most productive.

The day finally came when I submitted my last assignment. Although I was completely over the moon that I had finished all my work, it still felt bittersweet. I wasn’t 100% happy because I had no idea what my next steps were, I didn’t know what career I wanted to go into, and I genuinely didn’t know what my purpose was after the best years of my life were over so quickly. Whilst feeling like this, all I wanted to do was go back to Sheffield and celebrate finishing university by going on a night out with all my friends. Obviously this couldn’t happen, and it was the worst feeling ever because I felt like my achievements and success didn’t mean anything.

I really struggled with moving back home. The independence I gained when living on my own at university and becoming an adult felt like it had completely disappeared, and it was almost as if my life had gone backwards. I was constantly comparing myself to other people on social media who had secured a graduate job, and I felt like a failure because I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I had to deal with constant overpowering questions such as ‘so, what do you want to do now?’ or ‘when are you going to get a proper job?’. My mental health really took a turn for the worst because I couldn’t stop thinking about the future and all the uncertainty that came with it.

It took me several months to finally realise, why am I actually stressing out so much? Just because the job I have now isn’t what I want to be doing forever and I haven’t exactly figured out what my next steps are, this IS okay. I’m only 22 years old and I definitely don’t need to have my whole life planned out. Not to forget the fact that we’re currently living in unprecedented times and finding a job is more difficult than ever, which is why putting unnecessary amounts of pressure on myself isn’t healthy.

I wanted to write this blog to make sure that other graduates who may also be feeling like this know that they’re not alone. There is so much support at university when you’re a student, but as soon as you leave you can feel completely alone and you don’t feel part of a community anymore. Even though COVID-19 has made this difficult, it’s important to stay in touch with your friends from university who may be struggling with this transition too and reach out for support if you need it.

I’ve tried to overcome my post-university blues by keeping busy, taking regular breaks from social media so I’m not constantly looking at what other people are doing, and making sure that I’m patient. If like me, you’re not set on what you want to do, try to see this as something positive! You have time to travel, volunteer, or even work abroad for some time if you want to experience a different culture and gain some experience. Remember that you’re still young and it’s better to give yourself time to think about what you want to do, rather than committing to a job which you might hate and end up regretting rushing into it.

Find out more about what you can do to improve your wellbeing on Student Space.

I'm Eleanor, I graduated from Sheffield Hallam University with a degree in English Language in May 2020. I really struggled with leaving university and I want to connect with other students who may feel the same and reassure them that it's okay to not know exactly what career you want to go into after university.

The Power of Graduates Coming Together

Rebecca writes about her experience researching the transition out of university, starting a community for graduates to share advice and tips, and how graduate support has improved her mental health.

- Rebecca Moynihan

Coming out of university is pretty scary. There are so many expectations (from yourself and others), so many comparisons to make to other graduates, and so many obstacles to overcome. I remember when I finished my undergraduate degree in 2017, I couldn’t focus on my success, I could only focus on the fact I was having to move back to my family home, and I hadn’t yet secured a ‘grad role’, in fact, I had no idea what I wanted to do. This to me was one big fat failure in trying to be the adult I was now expected to be. My mental health really took a turn for the worst. 

Not knowing what I wanted to do, I jumped at the chance of going into a funded research degree. That sweet relief of two more years to hide away from the real world and all its responsibilities. I decided to research the transition out of university into the ‘real world’ - for obvious reasons. I wanted to see if I was alone in my feelings of utter dread and uncertainty. 

I interviewed 20 different graduates from different degree backgrounds. I spoke to them about their experiences in university, how they did/didn’t prepare for making the transition, how they had found their transition so far - positive and negative, and what they wish they had known. I found talking to other graduates both fascinating and comforting. It was difficult to keep myself separate and away from my research, and difficult to not turn around and be like ‘I FEEL THE SAME!!’ when people validated my own concerns/anxieties. For example, my interviewees reported feeling they had returned to being a child when they moved back home with parents. They struggled to handle job rejections - thinking they’re degree would have secured them roles, they faced job stigma (i.e. ‘when are you going to get a ‘proper job’?) and all in all, feeling a little lost and vulnerable without the university bubble. I asked graduates how they managed to cope with all these feelings of uncertainty and all of the difficulties they faced, the vast majority of interviewees disclosed feeling some comfort in knowing others’ were ‘in the same boat’. 

In university, it’s easy to feel part of a community. There’s no comfort like being in the library late at night rushing to finish an assignment and looking around to see other students doing the same, fuelled by caffeine and stress. There’s no comfort like moaning to your course mates about student finance, or about referencing and word counts. You can all relate to each other, some way or another. And you’re all on the same path, with the same goal. Work hard to finish university and get your degree. It’s when you get out of university when it all gets a bit messy. 

With my mental health taking a hit, feeling lost and those well documented ‘graduate blues, I set up One Oh One a blogging platform with an aim of connecting graduates. A place to share my graduate experience, to interview other graduates and share advice/tips for surviving the real world and for looking after your mental health. My platform is not the only one existing out there, only further highlighting the need for graduates to feel connected, and to reach out for the advice and support they often lack once leaving behind education. There are platforms out there which are set up to share CV writing tips - offering free consultancies - platforms to support graduates in the events agency, platforms to support and highlight the achievements of female graduates, and BAME graduates. There are platforms to support graduate mental health, job searching, and just general advice. Once you graduate university, the support network and student community you have been used to for all your years in education, completely vanishes. 

Communities like mine, and the others which are cropping up feel like one big peer support group - a bunch of graduates trying to survive for the first time without their support bubbles, and clinging together in a world that is often unrelenting to those fresh from university. Where the university support ends, graduates are pulling together to keep it going. You can feel so alone when you come out of university, you can feel like you’re falling behind (though there is no race), you can feel like the world wants you to fail. It can really impact on your mental health, as it did mine. It is so refreshing to be able to connect with so many different graduates, to hear their advice, to see the realities of the real world, and most importantly, to feel less alone. Follow me: Instagram: @one_oh__one Twitter: @oneohoneblog 

Visit the Student Minds website for more information on graduate mental wellbeing in the workplace . 

I am Rebecca - my degrees are in Psychology (BSc, MRes) and I am sharing my own story of graduating, knowing from experience how comforting it is to hear other people's stories and advice. My mental health has taken a hit since graduating, and connecting with other graduates has been a massive support network for me

Friendships after Graduation: Tips for maintaining and building friendships after graduating from university

Emily shares her tips for maintaining contacts with university friends and building new friendship after graduation. 

- Emily Maybanks

Maintaining friendships when you are at university is relatively easy. You see your friends every day, in lectures, in societies, in your accommodation or in the library. Therefore, you don’t need to put too much effort into meeting up with them. It is when you leave university that things get more difficult; and sadly, sometimes friends simply drift apart. You probably move back home or elsewhere, sometimes to the other side of the country, or even to a new country. Moving on, you might change interests, and eventually have less time for each other. This is a natural progression, but for many, it can be a difficult process.

It is easy to assume that with many social media sites, free minutes, and video calling software, it would be easier to maintain contact with friends after graduation. However, getting a job and starting work can make keep in touch with friends difficult because you might feel too tired at the end of the day to talk on the phone. Sometimes, you actually have to schedule at specific times to speak with friends. Another thing—and this can be a negative side to social media—are you might see your friends’ posts and find it difficult to not compare yourself to them. They might be posting about their amazing new job, or their travels for example and it’s hard not to feel jealous especially if your life has not turned out quite the way you had hoped or expected.

Nurturing new friendship while maintaining old ones might seem like a challenging task, but there are many opportunities to make new friends as well as keep in touch with old friends after graduation.

You could meet new people through new activities such as volunteering, and joining local or virtual clubs. For example, I’ve met new friends through volunteering for the Hospital radio station, and found friends from all walks of life! Also, you could join a club and meet people with similar interests to you, like joining a society at university.

Keeping in touch with friends from university after graduation does not have to be difficult neither. Yes, sometimes, you do just naturally drift apart, but long-distance friendships can work.  Strong friendships don’t need daily conversations. “Good friends are like stars — you don’t always see them but you know they are always there.” Some quiet time and space could make the times when you do speak to each other or meet up with each other much more special and enjoyable. You could plan a day out together or even a holiday together. 

You can find some advice about looking after your mental health during the transition from uni 
to grad life here.

My name is Emily (Em). In 2018, I graduated from Swansea University with my BA degree in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting where I was also passionate about and dedicated to Swansea Student Media and the University students’ newspaper – Waterfront. In September 2020 I will be starting a PGCE at the University of Reading to train to teach Secondary MFL (French and German). I blog for Student Minds because I have experienced mental health issues as a student and now also as a graduate, as well as various other health issues, and I support friends who also have mental health difficulties. I am a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences – both in helping me to explore and to cope with my mental health, as well as sharing my story in order to help and inspire others.

Three Tips for Surviving Your First Year of Graduate Life

Maddie shares three tips for managing the feelings of unease and fear during job application after graduation. 

- Maddie

Leaving university is a very difficult time for everyone. We have felt the security and comfort of education and its structure from a very young age, and then are thrown out into the ‘real world’ without much practical help. It is frustrating that after trading in scheduled classes, being graded on all of our work and extensive support, we find ourselves applying for job after job and facing a lot of failure before seeing any signs of success.

Once, we were told that going to university can open up doors and enhance our career prospects, because after all, “we will most definitely land our dream job the second we are handed our degree certificate”. But that seems an extreme idea now I have my degree. So what happens when it doesn’t work out how we’ve been told?

Many of us move back in with our families, work in the job we had at 17 and face rejection after rejection for the jobs we set out hearts on. From these feelings of going backwards, I’ve worked out a few ways to keep the feelings of unease and fear at bay, and I’d really like to share them with you, because it isn’t easy and we shouldn’t be fooled into thinking it is.

1. Have realistic expectations and learn to pick yourself up

It is great to set yourself big goals and work towards them, as long as we know that we’ll face hardships in the process. Tell yourself that you will get that amazing graduate job where you are doing the things you love every day, but be aware that it might take longer than a few weeks or months. Have the confidence that your CV will stand out for the job that you tick all of the criteria for, but be aware that there may be someone else with an extra year’s experience.

When you apply for a job, you are allowed to get excited at the prospect of getting it — it shows you know that the industry you’re aiming for is for you. But if you don’t quite make it and fall down, learn to pick yourself back up and try again. You’ll come out the other side a lot more resilient and glad that you persevered.

2. Don’t worry if you don’t get things right first time around

Once I’d graduated, I applied for whatever jobs appealed to me, but I knew deep down they weren’t in my long-term plan. I opted for this approach rather than setting my sights on a dream job and not going for any other role that would get in the way, as I just wanted to get my foot in the door anywhere that I could.

It’s okay if your first job isn’t quite what you’d imagined, or if you can’t see yourself there for longer than six months. I even couldn’t see myself in my first role for more than one month! Also, don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you’re working a job just to make ends meet. It’s not permanent and there is always time to change.

3. Don’t compare yourself to others

This one is so crucial, but it can also seem like the most impossible in the age of social media. When we graduate, we all have this amazing achievement under our belts, but now what do we do with it? Maybe you thought about travelling but decided not to, and now you feel really upset every time you view pictures from your course mate’s trip around Asia. What’s more, it might be hard to hear the news about your friend’s first graduate role when you’re still slogging away over applications, but your time will come.

Have faith that things will work out for you! If you don’t seem to be going at the same ‘pace’ as your peers, don’t worry. You get to decide what speed you want to be running this marathon called life. 

You can also find more information on managing your mental health after graduation here. 

Hey, I'm Maddie, I graduated from the University of Leicester last year with a degree in Criminology and have since started a career in PR. I really struggled with the change form university to working life so started a blog called Mind The Gap Graduates to help other students and graduates through this confusing transition.

Isolation abroad: Working in a foreign country after university

Guinevere shares experiences of, and tips for managing mental wellbeing when working in a foreign country after university.

- Guinevere

As you are reading this, you may be in your final year at university, or preparing for graduation, and unsure of the next step you’re going to take. Perhaps you are eager to remain where you are and expand your academic career, or find a job close to home. But maybe you are keen to travel abroad in which case, there are some things you’ll need to prepare for, for the sake of your mental health.

There’s plenty at stake when you decide to move away from the people and places you know, and make the journey to a foreign country. I studied in a town which, despite its charms, is best known for its potholes and water shortages. After four years of studying, I decided that it was time to travel, and travel far. After some deliberation, my choice was China, and my best friend and I headed off to China three months after graduation, to teach English as a second language.

As a South African, I was totally unaccustomed to and unprepared for life in China, despite my best efforts to prepare. There is a lot I can share about my experience, but here, I want to stress the importance of taking care of your mental health when living in a foreign country. Many factors can negatively impact your state of mind when you’ve moved far from home. There are, however, various solutions to these problems that I have come to learn.

1. Adjusting to a different climate

A change in weather patterns can drastically affect your mood, especially if you’ve moved from a warmer climate to one with icy winters, where you’re not getting as much Vitamin D as normal. Ensure that you are listening to watch your body needs, and prepare for weather that you are not used to (make sure you get enough sunlight during winter it can make the greatest difference!).

2. Mitigating the distance between you and your loved ones

Of course, you will be away from your loved ones, and this can be very trying, especially if you are in a different time zone. I have experienced tremendous loneliness in China, when all I wanted was to be at home, enjoying a meal with my family, or spending a night out with my friends or partner. Creating a scheduled Skype session with your mom, or grandpa, or cat, is really helpful. Knowing that there is a set date for you to spend quality video time with your loved ones is a true comfort, and it can shrink that distance, even if just the smallest bit.

3. Dealing with potential culture shock

No amount of research or discussions could have prepared me for the culture shock of moving from South Africa to China. I couldn’t speak or read Mandarin, and knew very little of the food or customs I was going to encounter. Having been here for eight months now, I have come to find it all a lot less challenging. Rather than remaining terrified, it is beneficial for you to explore your new surroundings in a foreign country. Find a way to log your experiences be it through writing, photography, or even vlogging. Keep in mind that you are not the first person to experience being a foreigner, and seek out others like yourself who can help you find your way. There are many online forums to join and find other people who are exploring like you. This can help fight that loneliness, and allow you to enjoy your time away from home rather than dreading each novel experience.

4. Practising self-care to manage your mental health

If you are already living with a mental illness, be aware of this and take precautions where necessary when you’re preparing to leave home. As someone who’s lived with depression for years, I knew that I had to stock up on my medication before leaving home. To be without my antidepressants and dealing with the stress of a different country would have been a nightmare. Whether or not you take medication, do make sure to take care of yourself: take a rest when necessary, check in with yourself, speak to a loved one when you’re feeling particularly low, and remind yourself that you have come this far. On my days off from work, I practise some forms of self-care, be it yoga, napping, watching a film, or applying a face mask. Rest days are just as important as the days when you’re busy working or exploring your new space.

There are various pros and cons of working overseas after university. You will never be fully prepared for it, but that’s part of the fun. It’s not for everybody, but with the right preparation and consideration for your mental well-being, it can be a wonderful experience.

For further information, advice and resources on looking after your wellbeing during a year abroad, click here. You can also find more information on managing your mental health after graduation here. 

Hi, I'm Guinevere. I recently graduated with English Honours at Rhodes University in South Africa, and am currently working as an ESL teacher in China. I've had depression and anxiety for many years, and want to share my experiences in the hopes of helping others. 

It's Ok To Not Have Your Life Together After Uni

Niki talks about how it's OK if things don't go as expected after you graduate and how sharing her experiences with others has made her feel less alone 

- Niki Hodson

Five months into leaving university following my Masters course, and I should have my life together, right? The dream career, or at the very least, the first rung on the ladder of my dream career. To have moved out (or to have never moved back in with my family after university in the first place). A thriving social life in a new city. The reality for me has been a little different. 

I had an incredibly turbulent summer writing my postgraduate dissertation. During this time I completely isolated myself, working 12-hour days in the library and going for days without speaking to anyone. Most of my friends had finished university for the summer, either being in years below or on integrated Masters programs. The majority of my course friends were from overseas and returned there to write their dissertations. I felt so much pressure because of how much the dissertation counted for and I wasn't even sure whether what I was writing was along the right lines. As a result, I stopped responding to my friends who were attempting to check in with me. After finally finishing, I didn't even feel proud or happy to be done, I just felt exhausted and fragile. I thought those feelings would leave as soon as I got time to recover a bit. They didn't. 

The words "post-uni blues" are thrown around a fair bit, but I think that undermines just how low and lonely you can feel following university. With most of my friends still at university, my entire social life was still there, whilst I was nearly 50 miles away living with my parents whilst looking for jobs. I faced an endless stream of job rejections, and so many didn't even respond. I kept returning to my university city for nights out and socials, and the same questions would come up in conversation "What are you doing now?", "Where are you living?" and my least favourite "How come you're back?". I didn't feel like I had properly started my adult life in the way I should have done, and I didn't feel like I belonged as a student anymore either.

It wasn't until my friend opened up to me that I realised I wasn't the only person feeling like this. Having spent my entire adult life as a student, adjusting to suddenly not being one anymore hasn't been easy. I put too much pressure on myself to have my life together as soon as I left university. I don't have that expectation for other people, so why do I have it for myself? Not having a grad job yet doesn't make me a failure. Still going to student nights doesn't make me a failure. Moving back home doesn't make me a failure.

I wanted to write this blog to reassure anyone that is feeling the same way since finishing uni-your feelings are completely valid and justified. Few people talk about how tough it can be after graduating, but starting that conversation with others and reaching out for support can make a world of difference. You'd probably be surprised by how many graduates feel exactly the same as you! It can take time to find your feet and that's more than ok-you don't need to have everything figured out straight away.

For more information on looking after your mental health after graduation, please visit the Student Minds site here. 

My name is Niki and I recently graduated with my MSc from the University of Sheffield. I absolutely loved my time at uni, but I felt really overwhelmed and lost after graduating. After speaking to several people who felt the same, I realised I wasn't alone in how I was feeling. I wanted to share my experiences in the hope it will make other people feel less alone too. 

Managing Your Wellbeing After Graduation

Having recently graduated, Ross shares seven tips for managing wellbeing after university. 

- Ross Carver-Carter

Constant rejections, living at home and financial worries are just some of the myriad stressors that can begin to take their toll on graduates mental wellbeing. These are some of the ways I handle the struggles of life after Uni.

1. Notice signs of self-destruction 

For me, self-destructive behaviour succeeds stress, which in turn triggers depressive episodes. When I am overwhelmed (often financially), I double down and ignore ominous letters building up at the door, or avoid my bank account like the plague. Naturally, this confounds depression and begets more stressors. Try to be self-aware of when you are slipping into an episode of depression, and tackle the things which illicit stress instead of turning a blind eye; in the long term, it only makes the situation more bearable. Setting aside one day a week for sorting out the administration of adulthood can be extremely beneficial. It’s not fun to do, but nothing beats the peace of mind of having your house in order. Importantly, keep track of what’s going into your account, and what’s coming out. It’s harder to be positive once you’re in the negatives.

2. Small Steps 

Oftentimes, anxiety about job applications and fear of rejections can make the process of applying so daunting that we avoid it altogether. In turn, we often feel guilty about being idle which creates a vicious cycle of inaction and self-loathing; small steps are a good antidote. Don’t expect too much from yourself, but as above, assign time to apply and don’t overdo it. Use these ‘productive days’ effectively to address concerns and try not to let them seep into your day’s off. Creating a space to do this can help you have a healthy detachment between work and leisure, and prevent your bedroom becoming a place of worry. The bedroom can become a base of operation for graduates which has an adverse effect on sleep.

3. Don’t Compare 

Stalking the social media and LinkedIn accounts of old peers is a bitter-sweet pleasure for grads, but it does nothing to help with depression. It can be easy to lose hours scrolling others success, but social media doesn’t convey the nuance of the achievements we view, and only serves to stoke the flames of insecurity and self-doubt. Focus on yourself, work at your own pace and don’t be disheartened by others success, or for that matter, your own setbacks.

4. Setbacks, Not Failure 

Speaking of which, rejections are inevitable for the majority of us, and regardless of how many you get, they never seem to get any easier. Failed applications can feel like a comment on our worth, but more than likely are just a result of a competitive job market demanding experience grads do not—and cannot—yet be expected to have. Treat these as setbacks and avoid fatalism; acknowledge the rejection, seek feedback and move on. Keep improving yourself and be your own benchmark.

5. Self-care and Self-love

This one is important, and it is easy to lose sight of it when we are consumed with anxiety. Sometimes, it really serves to treat yourself, even if that inner voice barks that you don’t deserve it. And this isn’t just face masks and manicures (it’s certainly not retail therapy, though I’m guilty of that), at its most basic level it’s washing the sheets, keeping your room tidy and ensuring that you do not burn out. Nothing is worth your health.

6. Exercise Regularly

This is a tried and tested way to alleviate depression, whatever the cause. It boosts your mood, helps with sleep and contributes to the wellness of body as well as mind. There’s no need to restate the myriad benefits here, but for me, it can be a lifesaver.

7. Do What You Love 

This one is tricky. Some people have it all planned out; a roadmap for the future. Others, myself included, are daunted by people asking what we want to be and are still fumbling our way through applications and vague ideas of course-related roles. Firstly, if you are in a transitionary job, see it as temporary and keep working on a side project—be it blogging, music or some other activity you love. Perhaps you can make a career out of these outlets. Find roles that utilise your strengths and play to your personality, ask around to explore career paths and keep learning in your spare time. It’s okay to not have it figured out yet. And perhaps the job you want isn’t on LinkedIn—Freelancing is an option also. Lastly, although not knowing what to do yet is intimidating, it’s exciting also. Try not to forget that and enjoy the ride.

To hear more about graduates sharing their experience of finishing university and starting work, please check out this video on Graduate Mental Wellbeing. You can find more resources on looking after your mental wellbeing here. 

I am a Politics and IR graduate navigating the graduate world, one step at a time.

The Pressures That Be

Siena writes about the pressures on mental health during and after university, and advises that it is okay to be not okay. 

- Siena Hocking

I can be a negative and cynical person. I tend to find it difficult to see the positive side in a lot of situations. I’m not sure why this is and most of the time it doesn’t really affect me, it’s just who I am. Any sort of hurdle I’ve faced seems to get covered by a dark, self-depreciating sense of humour. I sometimes have an innate ability to see my world through a lens tinted with negativity, anger, and indifference, but at least I make it funny!

I feel bad about this. I feel like maybe I’m just being dramatic about everything and that I’m merely some sort of narcissist for constantly drawing attention to myself. I’ve not had to endure the death of a loved one, I’m not a victim of trauma, I’ve not suffered a debilitating physical or mental illness – then why then do I feel so hopeless sometimes? I try to laugh it off. But there’s only so much laughing I can do before it catches up with me again; I’ll cry on the tube, train, bus, in the gym (granted this might be due to a minor stress-induced asthma attack), in a stationary shop. It really can be relentless. I feel dramatic to admit that this constant headache is due to a trivial issue: my first heartbreak. We have all been there, and it’s not like my husband of forty years has suddenly dropped dead, but it’s still crap. I’ve also landed myself in the position of being (temporarily, let’s hope) unemployed. I feel as though I’ve been dropped back into the deep end of a dark hole that often reared its ugly head in third year of uni.

I loved university. First and second year was just a doss and a party. Third year I still loved but it really screwed with my head. I was essentially a hot mess I was always raging about something – I cried in the shower a LOT, torturing myself with Khalid songs which brought me joy and despair. But I always laughed it off – haha, cried in the shower again guys …

Third year was also when I fell in love. It’s hard to let a person see your pain and see them trying to understand it, when you don‘t even yourself. What’s wrong? What makes you feel like this? What can I do? Why don’t you seek professional help? These questions are hard to answer when all you’re feeling is numb, nothing but a dark void fills my head. I just don’t know. All I could feel was the pressure of questioning my existence, my purpose, my abilities, what do I WANT? WHO do I want to be? What am I actually good at? I’m nervous, scared, anxious. WHEN will this relentless and pointless stream of coursework, exams and grades end?

University ended well. I got what I came for and the final few weeks were pretty much a boozy bliss. Within a week of being at home, I’d landed an internship in London. I was in the place I wanted to be, and everything was great, but only for a while. Things started to fall apart and here I am now.  It feels like I’m sinking under water, the deeper I get the more the pressure starts to crush me. Luckily, I’m surrounded by people who will always be there to help me resurface, but it hurts that the hand I want, the hand I need, is no longer there to pull me out. But that’s life, stuff happens, and you have to learn to be your own lifeboat.  Every day I feel the pressures – a pressure to be strong, be impressive, be successful, find a job, become financially independent, love myself, look after myself, not to care, to care too much, get over it, move on, feel the anger, hate and sadness, put on a brave face but also to allow myself to feel, to cry, to know that not every day I will be ok. And that’s ok. My friends reassure me that I’m doing well, I’m being strong and that’s all I need.

It’s the small things that are important to consider when feeling: sad, tired, worthless, pointless, hurt. I remain positive in the hope that these feelings will fade over time.  There are days when I do feel great. I’ve got my ‘Independent Woman’ playlist on for the 1000th time, and it bangs. I’ve crushed an insanely sweaty spin class, similar to the one in Bridget Jones’ Baby – if you don’t know what I’m referring to then grow up - how have you not watched it a million times already!? There are moments of feeling empowered that I revel in.

The message I’m trying to convey is that you’re allowed to feel like utter crap. Whether it’s about love, heartbreak, stress, university, your job, your friends, your flat, anything – don’t hide from your feelings, all it does is eat you alive. Allow yourself to be upset but allow yourself to feel good about the things you enjoy and love – things that bring you happiness. Don’t abandon them. Let your friends and family see and accept your demons, no matter how painful it may be. I’m glad to know mine will always be there for me with handfuls of loo roll when I tell them I’m ok, only to have an emotional breakdown. But I know that over time I’ll be ok. If you feel anything like me, know that time is always on our side and it’ll get better.

You can find advice on looking after your wellbeing here. 

Hi, I’m Siena. I’ve recently graduated from University and wanted to share how it can be a really tough time and can really affect mental health.

Graduate Frustration

Emily shares four tips for managing and overcoming feelings of frustration if things don’t work out as planned after graduation.

- Emily Maybanks  

This time last year, I finished my degree in Translation at Swansea University and thought I had my life planned out. I had a job lined up in China for fifteen months, I was finally free of deadlines and exams, and I could spend a few weeks relaxing by the sea before temporarily moving back home. A year later, my job in China didn’t work out; I’ve been in and out of temporary employment, and living with my family, thus having that independence that University and then living abroad gave me taken away. All of this has affected my mental health.  As horrible, frustrating, and sometimes upsetting as this past year has been for me, I’ve learnt a lot about myself, and have some tips, advice and support for other graduates who may be experiencing similar situations and emotions, whilst feeling isolated and alone. 

1. Be proud of your degree

It can be easy to feel disappointed and upset that you’ve worked hard for years to earn a degree, only to move back home, apply for job after job and attend interview after interview whilst you work out what you want to do with your life. However, getting a degree and graduating from University is certainly something to be incredibly proud of. It can open doors for you, even if those doors take a while to open! For many graduates, graduating from University is often the very first time in their life that they’re properly in the driving seat. 

2. Moving back home isn’t forever

All that independence you’ve gained after studying at University and living away from home for years; learning to manage your money, time and commitments – when you move back home at the end, it can feel as though it all gets snatched away in the blink of an eye. Furthermore, your friends live all over the country or all over the world and it’s almost impossible to meet up. I have been in this situation for months and it’s had a negative effect on my mental health. Aside from becoming a dog walker and cat sitter for my parents, my confidence has rarely been lower and I miss being independent. I’ve found it useful to use this as motivation to make a better life for myself, even if it’s saving up little by little for my own place. Or, save up for a holiday for you and your friends! 

3. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else

You’re scrolling through social media and seeing that other graduates have gone straight into the job of their dreams or onto other qualifications. But it’s important not to compare yourself to others – especially as what we post on social media isn’t always an accurate reflection of what’s going on or how we’re really feeling. Everyone feels insecure about what they’re doing and wondering whether they’re on the right path, which is okay and perfectly normal. Don’t compare your situation to others, live your life your own way! 

4. Take your time

Graduating can mark an overwhelming period and a time of intense change. It’s okay to take a bit of time – do stuff you enjoy, volunteer for a while, relax. Take some time to figure out what it really is you want to do and then set some goals to help you begin to achieve that dream. If it means accepting employment in a different area in the meantime, then so be it. “Life is a journey, not a competition.” 

“Life is funny, isn’t it? Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about something, and feel like you know what direction you’re heading in, the paths change, the signs change, the wind blows the other way, North is suddenly South and East is West, and you’re lost.” – Cecelia Ahern.

You can find more resources on looking after your mental wellbeing here.

My name is Emily (Em). Last year, I graduated from Swansea University with my BA degree in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting; I was also passionate about and dedicated to Swansea Student Media and the University students’ newspaper – Waterfront. I blog for Student Minds because I have experienced mental health issues as a student and now as a graduate, as well as other health issues, and I support friends who also have mental health difficulties. I am a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences – both in helping me to explore and to cope with my mental health, as well as sharing my story in order to help others.