A leap of faith: starting a masters with a mental health condition

Madeleine describes how it feels to make the decision to start a masters with a mental health condition and how she reached this choice.

- Madeleine

I recently made the decision to go back to university in September and start a masters. This was not a decision I took lightly, as someone whose mental health illness is triggered by stress, I was worried I would be unable to face the pressure a masters would entail. 

I came to the conclusion that, with the right support, I should aspire to do anything someone without a mental illness can do. I previously worked in the laboratory after graduating from a degree in biology. I eventually felt that I was not suited to this kind of work and took some time away from the lab to decide what to do next. The logical next step was to go back to studying to create a more niche skill outside of the laboratory. 

However, I struggled to know whether I could do a masters. Some people’s reaction to my debate was a face of surprise that I was considering further study. Although I had many supporters of the idea, the doubters clouded my vision, along with my own flurry of self-doubt. 

Deciding whether I’m up to the task of doing a masters is a bit of a leap of faith in myself. I won’t know until I’m doing it if it’s the right step for me. But I think that’s what this stage of life is about- trying new things and testing out my theories on what I’d like to do. After all, you don’t know until you try! Having a mental health problem can really chip away at your sense of self-ability. Especially with everyone’s own interpretations of what mental illness is floating around. I hear people’s opinions on others who struggle with their mental health and wonder what that says about me. But the truth is it affects everyone differently, and no two people are the same, even with the same diagnosis. What one person thrives at may be another person’s version of hell. 

Finding what makes you tick and what gets you out of bed in the morning is the key to believing in your self-ability. The more you test out what works for you, the more confident you feel. It’s this mindset that I am going to bring with me into my masters. I’m testing out what’s right for me, and if it’s my path, I’ll thrive. 

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

I'm Madeleine, a Sub-Editor of the blog. I am trying to change career whilst navigating how this affects my mental health as someone with a diagnosis of bipolar. I hope to reassure anyone in similar situations that they're not alone and there are steps forward to get to where they want to be. 

How I healed after being in hospital for mental health

Madeleine describes how she recovered from being in the hospital for mental health and what helped her do this. 

- Madeleine Chamberlain

I have been in the hospital twice for mental health during manic episodes. Both times it has taken time to heal afterwards to get back to feeling fully myself. Time to heal from being in an episode, and time to heal from being in a hospital under section. I thought I would share what helped me get back to feeling properly in touch with myself and able to talk about what happened when I was unwell.  

Checking in with myself:

I think one of the most important steps I needed to make sure I was doing was listening to myself and how I was feeling. No matter how hard it was to face those emotions, it was essential to move forward. Using meditation apps really helped this. Using visualisation techniques enabled me to properly realise how I was feeling day to day. Using these check-ins to be able to chat with friends about how I was doing helped enormously. Journaling and writing poetry became frequently used tools to explore my thoughts. Being in a hospital can be frightening and confusing, and so unpacking that takes time and patience.  

Talking about my experiences:

Talking about what happened as I became more comfortable massively reduced my feelings of embarrassment and shame. I found that responses from people I shared with were generally positive and understanding. It helped me feel more ‘normal’ and accepted. When I was fresh out of the hospital, I didn’t feel like I could share what being in the hospital was like with anyone. I was too fragile to talk about what happened. Time was a great healer, 3 years on from my last episode I am now very happy to talk about it freely with people I trust.  

Coping with the absence of euphoria:

Despite how detrimental a manic episode can be for everyone involved, coming out of an episode can be hard. Feeling that high can leave me missing that kind of euphoria afterwards. Even though I knew that euphoria came with paranoia and uncontrollable racing thoughts, to name a few, it still left me craving that extremely high emotion. I learnt I needed to become comfortable with a normal range of emotions and to be satisfied with them. Reminding myself of the dark side of mania kept me focused on staying away from that euphoria I craved.  

Learning to let go: 

Part of learning that you have a mental health condition can involve grieving who you used to be pre-diagnosis or symptoms. I found it hard to come to terms with having to make changes to reduce stress. When I was younger I put a lot of pressure on myself academically, and so I had to try to rewire my thinking to put my wellbeing first to avoid burnout and episodes fuelled by stress. It was easy to try to dive back into academics after coming out of the hospital to have something to focus on to distract myself. However, I learnt that it is important to ease back into normalcy rather than rushing to be completely better. Hospital is a very different environment and it can be quite overwhelming going back into the world.  

The biggest healer has really just been time. Putting that distance from me and my episodes helps me be able to look at them with fresh, non-judgemental eyes. It detaches the fading memory of the extreme emotions from the events that happened. I hope I won’t experience an episode again, but if I do, I hope the resilience I have built up will help me heal.

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

I'm Madeleine (one of the Sub Editors of the blog). I love combining my interest in writing with my passion for reducing the stigma around mental health, and the blog is the perfect place to do this. 

Relief

Madeleine describes the feeling of recovering from poor mental health and the relief it brings.

- Madeleine Chamberlain

Relief pours through my veins 

I feel myself becoming me again 

A thousand colours blended into one 

Fitting together like an imperfect jigsaw  

I think sometimes it takes a blend of grey  

To reach the calm of the night sky  

I feel the shame wash away  

As I rinse my fears with glimmers of hope 

You’re not crazy for feeling the extremes 

Just human

We know that experiencing mental health difficulties at university can feel overwhelming. Explore the support that is available at your university and further.

I'm Madeleine, one of the Sub-Editors of the blog. I thought I would contribute this poem to the blog for National Poetry Month as poetry has helped me sort through many difficult emotions and thoughts. I'm a recent graduate from The University of York with a passion for writing and mental health awareness. 

I was still me

Madeleine describes how it feels to go through a mental health crisis, highlighting the need to treat people in crisis as themselves, with the dignity and respect they deserve.

- Madeleine Chamberlain

I was still me

I was just so engulfed in a world of my own creation

A world where I was alone against the enemies of my own mind

An alternative reality so clear yet so confusing

A hypothetical contradiction

That was my reality

I said regrettable things

Made decisions that only made sense to my train of thought

Any onlooker would have been perplexed

A world of me lost in my own mind

But I still felt it

The fact that it was not true does not negate

The belief

The impact

The trauma

I was still me

I was just buried under the rubble of the volcano

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

Madeleine is a recent graduate from the University of York and one of the sub-editors of the blog. Having experienced episodes of psychosis due to bipolar disorder, I am passionate about sharing my story to reassure others in similar situations that they are not alone and that there is always a way forward.

Managing stress after being diagnosed with a mental illness

Madeleine shares her thoughts and experiences of dealing with stress at university in the context of being diagnosed with bipolar.

- Madeleine Chamberlain

The theme for this month is stress, something I’m sure every student has had an experience with. Stress is something that is unavoidable in life, but it can be managed with the right tools and approaches. As someone who has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, stress can be a huge precursor to having an episode. Stress can be a scary word in my mind, something which has haunted and frightened me, especially when I have had a recent episode. Stress can build and bubble up in a variety of ways and often I don’t realise I’m stressed until I reach a tipping point.

I think the key for me is taking away the fuel of fear from the equation. Once I remove the fuel, the slow but significant burn of stress can be kept to a manageable level. Fear is understandable when you have experienced an extremely scary episode, it’s like the fear of having a flare-up of a physical illness. You know it can happen because it’s happened before. But the important thing is to ensure this fear of stress taking over doesn’t stop you from living your life the way you want to. Just like physical illnesses, sometimes you have to make adjustments, but that in no way means you can’t follow your dreams and aspirations.

I experienced an episode of mania when completing my dissertation in my final year of university, which made it very difficult to complete my studies. Mania is different for everyone with bipolar, but for me, it involved delusions, paranoia, and psychosis. This was no doubt a very stressful period, with a global pandemic just announced, university deadlines rearing their ugly heads and stressful situations in my personal life. I found that there wasn’t one easy fix to all the stress that was building up, as I was too engulfed in an episode of mania to really get out of it alone. That’s why the key to avoiding this kind of situation for me, as well as many other people, is getting early help. This proved difficult in the pandemic, with long waiting lists and the problem of having to go home from university away from my registered GP. Noticing early warning signs is so helpful. It can avoid a complete stress bubble over, helping me take care of myself as well as signposting those around me to how they can help too.

As someone who has experienced extreme stress and who felt completely lost in an episode of bipolar during their final year of university, I want to highlight to anyone struggling that there is always a way out. A combination of talking to my university to extend my studies, medication and support from my family and friends meant that I could recover in my own time. I could then return to my studies refreshed and ready to take on any challenges that came my way. Often my fears of having stress take over can obstruct my ability to lean into happiness, but I have learnt that not everything is a symptom. It is possible to live with a mental illness, manage stress and experience emotions freely. Knowing I have bipolar just gives me more information on how I can look after myself better, and it does not make me any less capable or worthy. It simply makes me more self-aware and able to cope better with stress having had to learn strategies that work for me and my mental illness. 

Find out more about bipolar disorder and how to support someone.

I'm Madeleine, a recent graduate from the University of York. Having been diagnosed with bipolar, I'm passionate about keeping the conversation about mental health going in order to lessen the stigma of mental illness. I believe that everyone should be made to feel comfortable to share their story if they want to, allowing the potential for others to feel inspired and comforted that they are not alone. In my free time, I enjoy playing the guitar, writing poems and praying that I’ll get a ticket to Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour.

Being diagnosed with bipolar

Natasha shares her experiences of struggling with mental health whist at University and her journey to being diagnosed with bipolar.

- Natasha Stenning

Hi, my name is Natasha Stenning. I am a 22-years-old and currently a student at York St John University. However, I am not a normal English girl. Whilst I have a British passport, I was born and raised in Nairobi, Kenya, and spent a couple of years in China, Tanzania and the Philippians.

Anyway, people describe me as an energetic and bubbly girl who does not stop talking and always wants cuddles. Overall, I am a friendly, kind, caring person but I was not always this way. I had a very content childhood in Kenya. I was confident, happy and had a good social, academic and sports life. However, the trouble started when I joined university.

I moved to England in August 2017 to attend University of Brighton and study a BSc in Physiotherapy. I quickly realised that I was not happy where I was. I was far away from my family, had not managed to connect with anyone and found that the UK was a foreign country to me even though I technically was British. Things got worse I stopped going to sports, lectures and meeting with friends. I was crying on the phone to my parents every night. By November I was depressed and anxious. My dad flew over from Kenya and pulled me out of university eight weeks into term.

December to March was a difficult time for me. Looking back, it was all a blur. However, by the end of March, I had this amazing job in Switzerland for the summer, working in a kid’s adventure camp for 10 weeks. Those 10 weeks changed my life. I got my confidence and personality back. During this time, I was accepted onto the BSc in physiotherapy at YSJ.

I returned to England in September. The first month was incredible. I found an amazing group of friends, loved the city, joined societies and sport teams, and loved my course. I was living the life every university student wants to lead. However, October hit and bits of anxiety started to creep in. I was starting to doubt that I wanted to study physiotherapy. I was struggling to keep up. I started finding York too small and had convinced myself I had not really made any friends. I contacted student health services and found they didn’t really help. By November reading week, I went back home to Kenya. I came back diagnosed with moderate clinical depression and anxiety and was put on medication.

I was back in the same position as the previous year, frustrated and scared cause I felt alone. I was so lost and felt I had no direction. Things kept getting worse till it got to February 2019. At this point I felt I had no one in the world. I had not been helped by the health services and had given up. I locked myself in my room for 3 weeks, avoiding my family, friends and lectures. My best friend messaged my sister. She and my sister came and basically broke down my door. They saved my life. I went home to Kenya, changed my medication and started therapy. I slowly started feeling better.

I came back to York in April to organize my life. I changed course to study a BSc in Sports Therapy. I repaired my friendships and found the most amazing boyfriend. The last few months in York had been of my best of my life. Over the next year, I tried to keep up with my studies and friends, accept I still felt something was off. After a few more ups and downs, in August 2020 I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder. I was put on different medication and my therapy changed to address the new diagnosis. Since then I have never been more settled or happy both in my own skin and my situation in life. My medication and therapy have kicked in.

I do not want this story to scare people off university. I am just sharing my own experience. Now I love university and would not change any of my experiences as I am a stronger person. However, this is why I re- started up Student Minds at York St John University. I want to help people going through anything similar. Know these feelings are completely normal. University is a tough time and you can ask for help. That is what we are for! Combating Mental Health one student at a time.

Lots of love, Tash x

Find out more about Bipolar and supporting a friend and the small steps you can take to ​look after your wellbeing.

Hi, I’m Natasha, a sports therapy student applying for an Osteopathy masters. After experiencing mental health struggles at university, I am passionate about insuring the student voice is heard. I believe mental health is a vital issue that needs to be addressed and seen as an equal to physical health.

Mental Health Over Summer: Rachael's Experience

Rachael shares her experience of how best to work and rest during the summer.

- Rachael Johnston

What do you do to help with your mental health over the summer?

I try and keep myself as occupied as possible.  To keep focused, it’s really important for me to plan ahead and have things set in my diary to look forward to. My previous job as a teaching assistant meant I had the whole summer off; however, I’m now a support worker supporting children with additional needs, which makes this summer a bit different.

What do you like to do during the summer?

I have my birthday over the summer, so there is usually the build up to that. I took two weeks annual leave to be able to have some time with my family and friends to celebrate.  I have had a short weekend away with my mum, which was nice, and I braved a massage. I’ve never had a massage, so I’ve decided I want to try and keep up to see if it helps me unwind a bit more.

What do you find hardest in the summer?

When we do get the sun, it usually means shorts and strappy tops. Currently my weight isn’t great, so I’m very body conscious. I also have scarring from self-harm. This summer, I’ve been a bit braver, and on really hot days I’ve just thought ‘sod it’! Then there are the big events and get-togethers! Usually it’s a time when everyone seems to go out and there is never a reasonable excuse not to go, so I try and tell myself to give it a go. If things do get too overwhelming, I can always go, so I find myself driving to places and ditching the alcohol in favour of a quick exit if I need it.

What differences have you found in your mental health over the summer compared to when you’re at university?

I’ve never been a fan of the summer holiday, even when I was in school.  I like being busy and having something to do. So I do notice that when my brain isn’t occupied, I start to feel low. However, when I’ve not been in university for a while, I start to become anxious about going back.  I check and recheck my personalised plan so I can reassure myself that any new tutors know what additional steps need to be taken. I suppose that’s the thing with mental health: no matter what I do, that little voice never seems to be satisfied.

Do you have any advice for other students who struggle with their mental health in the summer?

I’d say plan ahead. If you’re struggling, don’t bottle it in.  If you’re not up to do something which you have planned, be honest and don’t just cancel, my friends have either been able to talk me round into going out for a little while, or they’re happy to find a good film and stay in.
If you have appointments through the summer, stick to them, get to them even if you’d rather be sitting in. Sometimes it helps your therapists to see you in person when you’re really down, to get a fuller understanding of your situation.
To avoid staying stuck in a cycle of wearing the same clothes for days, I also try and set an alarm to have a fixed time when I have to have a shower and change.


Are you interested in getting involved in the “Mental Health over the Summer” blog series? Please do not hesitate to email us at blog@studentminds.org.

Hi, I’m Rachael. I’ve been blogging on and off for a few years now around my experience of living with Anorexia and Borderline Personality Disorder. Although I’m meant to be on a break from university this summer I requested an extension for my last assignment due to a dip in my mental health, so I’ve been able to keep myself occupied with this summer with uni work and my job as a support worker.

https://thejourneyback2life.wordpress.com/2017/07/14/to-the-bone/

Education: mental health’s preventative medicine

How a lack of education delayed my diagnosis of bipolar disorder

- Edward Huntly

In February, I was diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bipolar Affective Disorder, a condition which causes me to cycle between the extremities of mood. It was news I didn’t fully understand, and in the four months since, I’ve been forced to educate myself on an illness which will be with me for life.

In my own way, I’d learnt to understand the rhythms of my mental health from an early age, experiencing my first bout of depression aged fifteen. For years, these heavy, suffocating states made regular appearances; they would occur three or four times a year, for weeks or months at a time.

At this point, I don’t think I’d even come across the word ‘bipolar’ yet, and I had a very narrow understanding of depression. I was convinced that the term wasn’t applicable to my circumstances, because the lows always went away. Instead, I decided I was weak, unique and abnormal, which led me to suffer in silence.

By the time I arrived at university, several years later, these depressions had become darker, more dangerous, and much more volatile. Within days, I could abruptly shift from a ‘low’ to a state of high energy, confidence and character, completely detached from the mood that preceded it.

Now, when the depressions lifted, I faced new challenges: periods of rapid and obsessive thoughts which would immobilise me as much as the lows. The complete lack of control was, and still is, terrifying. Finally, I sought help.

I was referred to a psychiatrist, and was told with conviction that these symptoms were all typical of bipolar. The diagnosis was an unwelcome surprise, but also a liberating one; I had finally been given a framework within which to understand, and a clinical vocabulary with which to express, the experiences of the previous six years.

Together, we explored the developments of my mental health since adolescence: the changing form of my depressions, the significance of its cycling nature, and the neglected symptoms of ‘highs’. Hypomanic episodes, the other ‘pole’ of the condition, tend to be characterized by euphoria, unchallenged ambition, disinhibition, high energy, and the rapid thoughts I’d become well acquainted with.

We discussed my unpredictable spending sprees: the unused accordion, the £1,000 pursuit to learn three languages at once, and the vast array of old boxes I’d considered essential at the time of purchase. Then came the erratic behaviour. Just weeks earlier, dressed in chequered shirts, I invested hundreds in wood-whittling kits and, to a background of country music, I planned a trip to remote Alaska, believing that my destiny lay with the land.

Despite my symptoms being relatively pronounced, I knew little about bipolar’s lesser known characteristics, and had subsequently been unable to connect the complexities of my mental health to it. As a result, the medication that aims to halt the progression of bipolar disorder came into my life much later than was ideal.

I lacked an education on the details, experiences and realities of mental health; instead, I drew on the popular misconceptions which mental health stigma creates. I formed a deeply entrenched belief that my mental health was a self-inflicted weakness, and became determined that I didn’t deserve help.

A comprehensive education to explore the origins of my mental health would have challenged this philosophy, and would have given me reliable information on which I could base an understanding of my experiences.

Education should be seen as mental health’s preventative medicine. It confronts the stigma, stands up to ignorance, and strengthens solidarity. It’s reassurance to those who suffer that they are not alone, and that they are not to blame for the ill health that befalls them.

Hi, I'm Ed! Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder. Ever since, I have been trying to understand my condition. This is the first time I’ve spoken publicly about my experience, and in doing so, I hope to help break down the barriers for those around me which prevent us from openly discussing our mental health. 

Noticing depression: When the things that are supposed to feel good, don’t.

Bethany writes about noticing the difference between the symptoms of depression and general sadness, and what this means for someone's mental health.

- Bethany Lipka

I had a friend recently ask me how a person can identify the difference between temporary sadness - or feeling blue - and depression. He was going through a rough time after a breakup and feeling low, and wondering if his mood state was possibly reactive depression. 

I told him that if he is noticing that day after day the things that are supposed to feel good don’t, he should probably give his doctor a call. 

This is the one symptom of depression that to me seems to be common to all sufferers, no matter their variation of the illness: that we lose the ability to experience joy. And after a few joyless days, or weeks, or months, it can become very easy to forget what it even feels like. 

This is probably the most tragic symptom of depression, because of what it takes from us. Days that should be filled with meaning and positive feelings, end up being vacant and unbearable. I was depressed for the months surrounding my wedding, and so much of what should have been the most exciting time of my life was shrouded by my illness. I didn’t even make it to my rehearsal dinner; I was curled up in a ball under a pile of blankets in my bedroom the dark, trying to muster up the energy I would need for my wedding day. 

Since starting treatment for my bipolar II disorder, depression has stolen fewer and fewer days from me. But there are still times when things in my life that are supposed to feel good, don’t. And that’s the difference between sadness and depression, that’s when I know I need to see my doctor and re-evaluate my treatment plan. Because when I’m sad, I can pick up a guitar, or play with my dog, or go for a walk in the park and feel better – at least a little. When I’m depressed, none of those things bring me any enjoyment. 

So if you are on the fence about getting help for mood symptoms, and you aren’t sure if what you are experiencing is depression or just ‘feeling down’, the joy test is a good metric. Ask yourself: when was the last time I really enjoyed something (a good cup of coffee, a book, a meal with a friend), or had fun? If you can’t remember, and if all your recent memories are of painfully monotonous days, you probably want to make an appointment with your doctor. 

For more information on finding support with mental health, click here.

For more information on supporting a friend going through mental health issues, click here.

MHAW: Bipolar in Love, Navigating a Relationship While Living with a Mood Disorder

Bethany shares her experience of dealing with bipolar disorder whilst holding a relationship together.

- Bethany Lipka

My relationships have always been tumultuous, and an on-again, off-again pattern has defined almost every relationship I've had since I started dating at age 14. 

When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (type 2) at age 24, this dating pattern suddenly made a lot of sense. Looking back, I could clearly see that hypomanic-me was capable of being happily in love, while depressed-me projected all of my negative self-perceptions onto my partner. “You don’t really love me”, “you think I’m stupid”, “just leave”, are all things I have said to people who absolutely did love me, who thought I was smart and funny, and who wanted to be with me. 

So after my diagnosis I felt relieved that I had finally identified this disordered pattern of thinking and behavior, so that I could prevent it in the future. I was in a relationship at the time (of the off, then on-again variety), and I thought that I finally had the information I needed to make sure things stayed stable. No more relationship drama, problem solved!

Easier said than done. 

I found myself falling into old habits pretty quickly. A decade-long pattern is hard to break. It’s been three years now since my diagnosis, and breaking this pattern is still something I work on every day. I constantly combat the lies that my own brain tells me about my self-worth (namely, the lack thereof). And I have to be critical of every emotional perception that I have, to determine whether it’s rooted in reality, or illness. It is challenging. It is a lot of work. But it has paid off. 

The same partner that I was with at the time I was diagnosed is now my wife. Over years, we’ve developed a pretty good system of weathering my many ups and downs. I have three tips from our experiences that may come in handy if you are in a relationship and you – or your partner – are living with a mood disorder: 

1) Talk. Talk a lot. If you are feeling low and don’t feel like talking: leave notes, send texts, write emails. But keep the lines of communication open. When your mood state (our your partner’s) is an ever-shifting thing, you need to keep your partner posted on how you are doing. No one is a mind reader. 

2) Arguments are rarely about what they’re about. This is true in all relationships, but especially for couples where someone struggles with mood variability. Sometimes “this” is really about “that”. Sometimes “I’m mad you forgot to take the garbage out” is really about “I haven’t slept in three days and my anxiety is so bad that I feel like I’m falling out of an airplane”. Try to discern the difference, and get to the root of things. 

3) Practice self-care. This advice is particularly important for the partner of someone living with a mood disorder. You are often thrown into the caregiver role, and being a caregiver can be exhausting. Take time to reboot, whatever that means for you (exercise, a good book, a long bath). You can’t run on empty, and trying to do so will put your own mental health at risk, as well as your relationship.  

Relationships are always hard, and if you are living with a mood disorder they are even harder. But having a person to help you navigate life with your illness can be one of the best possible things for your mental health, making it well worth the effort. 

For more information on finding support click here.

For more information on supporting a friend or a partner click here.

Nature, nurture and the power of Mums – growing up with Bipolar Disorder

Rachael writes about how she overcame her own Bipolar Disorder with the bond of her mother.

- Rachael Howe

Come on, we’re going to the sea!”

Mum woke me up at 4am. If it wasn’t the sea, it was the zoo, or the lakes. I adored the passion and excitement in her when we had our impromptu trips away. They made me glad to be hers, glad to go on adventures whilst the rest of the world was sleeping in their beds. She took me in her arms and carried me to an all-enveloping world of new things, sights, sounds, smells that we didn’t get in our dreary little home town in the North of England.

I didn’t know at that age, but my mum had Bipolar Disorder. Her gorgeous, flighty highs took us to far off places and let me live in a way that dreams are made of. Her lows took her away from me. To duvets and long baths and sleep. Where I’d tunnel into her duvet nest and breathe her stale air, asking her if she was going to be ok, whether she still loved me.

Nothing from my childhood was awful, I wasn’t neglected and I was never unloved. My parents were utterly selfless when it came to my wellbeing. I thought every mum was like mine, and I love her absolutely and unconditionally to this day. I wish only to say, that mums aren’t perfect and that’s ok. 

I am my mum’s greatest gift. She did all she could by me, even in the darkest hours when I was starting to show symptoms of Bipolar, too. A mother-daughter relationship is not an easy one to maintain. Some days you can’t stand the sound of the other person’s voice, others you wish for nothing else but to be five years old again, curled up in her arms listening to her read you Beatrix Potter stories. But there is always love. That love that bonds you and keeps you close, even after months of being apart. 

Our healing process began when I left home for the second time. Without the eager rose-tinted ignorance of my early teens, which were fuelled by hormones and a belief that I knew best. My mum kept me on the straight and narrow from afar. We still speak every day. Supporting each other, recognising each other’s difficulties when our brains just won’t play fair and problem solving. Always problem solving. 

I used to be terrified of the thought of being a mum. I still am, to a certain extent. But seeing how we function together as adults is starting to change my mind. My mum didn’t mess me up. She kept me as safe as she could. Growing up around mental illness didn’t break me, it taught me more about the world than I would have learned without it. I had my eyes opened to painful things, sure, but I also saw the bright and the beautiful and learned to appreciate the little things in life that really matter. 

Life is a bittersweet experience. Whether you have a mental health issue or not, your life experience will shape you and help you to grow. Mums are a big part of that. They teach you that being vulnerable is ok. And they teach you how to be stronger than you’d ever think possible. 

Here’s to mums!

For more information on finding support click here.

For more information on looking after yourself and others click here.

Society: Are they Right? – How the world should view mental health

Chris and Chris write about how society view mental health incorrectly and how mental health should be viewed to make positive progression in dealing with it.

- Chris & Chris

"My anxiety causes me to panic whenever I think I'm doing something wrong or predict the worst case scenario. It also causes me to tell myself how worthless I am and how much of a failure I am at anything I do.”

"My anorexia makes me obsess over my weight all the time and even when I'm hungry, I see how long I can go without eating. If I binge eat, I force myself to throw it up and if I don't I hate myself."

"I have PTSD. Once in a while it causes me to have an attack where I basically shake and feel like I'm going insane over past memories. It causes my body to shake even though I consciously don't know why."

The above lines are three statements made by three individuals who learned to live with mental disorders. Something that has sparked my curiosity since a young age was the fact that mental illnesses always have so much stigma. Isn't it just like a fracture or a fever or any other ailments? These differences are created by society's notions of disorders.

Here are a few of society's believes about mental illness and myth busters that can answer these correctly:

Society: Society believes that people with mental health problems are violent and dangerous.

Truth: Society itself is more dangerous and forces these people to harm themselves or point out what they are trying to hide.

Society: Mental illness equals delinquency, crime, evil nature, abnormal lifestyle, and unfulfilled lives.

Truth: Most of the people who struggle with mental disorders emerge as fully contributing members of the society, who are braver, stronger and have unique perspectives.

Society: People diagnosed with depression are dependent and introverts who have a ruined self-image.

Truth: They are usually smarter than an average individual, have better perspectives and see situations realistically.

Society: ADHD means reckless adrenaline junkies who fail to fulfil roles and responsibilities.

Truth: They thrive in disruptive situations, embrace adventures and apt at multitasking.

Society: OCD is the epitome of perfection. People diagnosed forget themselves in the drive to be perfect and fail in most relationships.

Truth: They have higher levels of determination, naturally good at memory and compelled to learn new things frequently.

Society: Bipolar disorder ruins a person inside out. Either it is a high or a low or it makes them crazy.

Truth: They are four times as capable in art, creativity and observation.

All the stigma are based on perspectives and by changing these perspectives and the world opinion on mental health will change to a more positive one.

For more information on seeking support click here.

For more information on eating disorders click here.

For more information on understanding mental health click here.

My experiences of Bipolar Disorder and what keeps me well

– Gideon Harris

Fact: 1% of the U.K population suffers with Bipolar Disorder.[1]

My name is Gideon and I am one of those sufferers. Having been diagnosed last year at the age of 20, I have learnt many lessons about what keeps me well and I’d like to share these with you. Having been in hospital for nine weeks during my last episode, I had to take a lengthy time out of university education. I hope my story and advice inspires you and helps those who are suffering with mental health difficulties.

Routine

Generally, a routine and structure to a day is vital for anyone but particularly for those experiencing mental health difficulties such as Bipolar. For me, having a routine is crucial. After being discharged, I would lie in bed for hours. Ultimately this would be detrimental to my mood and I wouldn’t really achieve a great deal. With medication and the depressive stages of my difficulties, I know too well how difficult my low days can be. From this I have learnt that just getting out of bed in the morning can make a huge difference to self-esteem and confidence. Even now, in the summer holidays, I am up every day by 9/9.30am. Little things as well have really helped me to battle the disorder such as walking my dog every day, going to the gym, reading books, working but most importantly finding discipline and structure.

Diet

During my first year of university I would live off take a ways; fish and chips, Chinese, Meal Deals, you name it, I would have it. They are ok to have from time to time but for me, to have this regularly were bad for the dopamine and serotonin levels in my brain, they started to act as depressants and could also be a trigger towards Mania. Currently, I am working on my diet. I am eating a lot of green vegetables, fruits, salmon, soups, nuts, cereals. These foods have helped my mood to improve and stabilise over time. These are foods I would whole- heartedly recommend for others experiencing Bipolar Disorder.

Therapy

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helps to retrain your thinking patterns to think more positively. It focuses on relapse prevention, breathing techniques, behavioural models and really allows you to understand the triggers and indicators of Bipolar or other mental health difficulties such as OCD and Schizophrenia. Personally, this process did take time to work for me but having a good relationship with my psychologist was so important. Furthermore, it gave me insight into my illness and by learning about the indicators of Bipolar; it has given me the chance to take a step back when I need to.

Mindfulness focuses on deep breathing techniques and meditation and really just helps you to relax. This is something relatively new for me but the meditation involved allows my mind to calm down during stressful periods, whilst the deep breathing has been great for my concentration skills.

Support Network

Finally, having a good support network is also crucial, for me a supportive network of family and friends has been so vital in my recovery.

I have been well for nearly eight months and have achieved huge strides in combating my mental health difficulties. I will be returning to university in September and I hope whoever may be reading this and is experiencing a mental difficulty can or can continue to work towards recovery through small manageable changes to their daily routine .

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[1] http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bipolar-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Charity Feature: Bipolar UK

Are you or is someone you know experiencing extreme mood swings?

We may be able to support you!

Bipolar UK is the national charity dedicated to supporting individuals with bipolar, their families and carers.  Bipolar, sometimes known as manic depression, is characterised by significant mood swings including manic highs and depressive lows. 

We provide a range of support services, which include:

• Self-Help Groups for Young People (18-25 years) - There is no referral system, just come along if you want to get peer support, information or to meet other people who are going through similar experiences. To find your nearest group: http://www.bipolaruk.org.uk/young-peoples-self-help-groups.html

• eCommunity - Go online to access an active peer support forum where you can post and comment anomalously, there is even a dedicated youth section: http://www.bipolaruk.org.uk/e-community/

• Advice & Information - Find information and resources on our website:
  
  
  
  • Information leaflets: http://www.bipolaruk.org.uk/information-leaflets/
  
  
  • Using a mood scale and recording your moods is a useful way of monitoring your moods: http://www.bipolaruk.org.uk/bipolar-uk-mood-scale.html
  
  
  • Podcasts: hear a young person talk about their personal experience: http://www.bipolaruk.org.uk/podcast-young-people.html

Our services are free and confidential. If you would like to discuss issues or related questions please do not hesitate to contact us.

Email: youth@bipolaruk.org.uk

Website: www.bipolaruk.org.uk

Tel: 020 7931 6486

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BipolarUKyouth

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/bipolarukyouth