What is wrong with me?

Hannah shares their experience of loneliness during university and since graduating. They discuss the stigma associated with loneliness and share their journey of self-acceptance. 

- Hannah

How do I share that I’m lonely? 

How can I be lonely as a young person? 

What is wrong with me?

These are all questions I asked myself persistently both during and after university. The notion of loneliness can feel incredibly embarrassing and stigmatising because it appears that everyone else around you is happy and content in their friendships and you’re the only one struggling. Loneliness is often associated with older generations, with a lot of information and support tailored to ‘befriending’ people who are elderly. It seems inconceivable that someone of a younger age could be lonely. There are so many chances to meet people whether this is through education, work or hobbies however, it is much easier said than done and I’ve spent too much time berating myself for struggling so much with it.   

University was going to be a fresh start for me: new city, new course, new everything. I was going to be confident and make lots of friends… spoiler alert this didn’t happen. The culture of drinking and partying seemed so new and exciting but in reality, this led to cycles of overthinking and self-loathing for me personally. I put so much pressure on myself to be like other people and to modify myself in accordance with the interests and behaviours of those around me. This, however, wasn’t an authentic version of myself. Consequently, I couldn’t maintain this persona and ended up becoming quite isolated throughout my time at university.   

Since graduating I have learnt a lot about myself through therapy, but also through a lot of self-reflection. I have become more accepting of myself as an individual, and of my difficulties making friends due to my own struggles with mental health and neurodiversity, rather than blaming myself for not being like other people. Self-acceptance has been a huge breakthrough for me in terms of loneliness, and it has allowed me to assess what I need to prioritise in my life in order to stay well. I have realised that I actually really value quality time on my own, and in fact, require this time in order to function.  

I have a small number of friends, they are important to me and I know I could call on them if I needed to. Sometimes I still reflect on our friendships and compare them to what is on social media, and wonder why I don’t have a huge group of friends that are constantly out socialising. I try to remind myself that that isn’t what I want and need all of the time.  

Despite this, I still recognise that connection with others is vital for my mental health, through volunteering for a charity on a weekly basis and attending virtual journaling sessions I have been able to make connections with like-minded people in a way that is comfortable to me.   

The key for me has been the journey of self-acceptance. It’s been focusing on what I enjoy and what makes me happy, rather than basing my interests on what other people like. Having the ability now to adjust to the unrealistic expectations of myself and generally just being a lot kinder to myself, has also helped on this journey. This has been a long process; this didn’t happen overnight. Therapy has been really beneficial in allowing me to explore these difficulties further and realise that I’m not alone and it’s really common to feel lonely, regardless of age. 

For anyone who has felt this way or is still feeling this way, know that you are not alone and that things do get better. 

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog.

I'm Hannah (they/them), I struggle with my mental health and I'm neurodivergent. I wanted to share my experience of loneliness at a time when I put an incredible amount of pressure on myself to be like other people. I'd love it if this blog could help someone going through something similar, to not feel so alone and ashamed. 

Remote Working: 5 ways to keep motivated

In this short blog, Emily highlights some of the common issues people have with working from home and suggests some ways to overcome these challenges.

- Emily

I graduated with my undergraduate degree a few years ago. I was in the midst of my second year when the world went into lockdown and, to begin with, I was placed on furlough and shipped back home to a condensed family life again. In the third year, we returned to the yo-yo of regulations that, had it not been for being a key worker, would have had me isolated back to my student accommodation for weeks on end, as we cycled through lateral flows and trekked for PCRs in the park. During my Masters, I worked full-time in my nursery, meaning I was out and about from 8-6 every day of the week - and I loved it! After our ordeal with COVID, I was grateful to be out of the house.  

I surprised myself, a few years later, by taking up a new role - a dream job… fully remote and working from home. Having always worked in an environment where I’ve physically been involved in the day, socially working with others, solitary working was a huge change for me. How would I cope with nobody to guide my routine? Would I get lonely? How would I keep motivated?   

I’ve not been at it for long, but here are some of my top tips for transitioning to a remote working environment.   

• Make your own routine It can be difficult to get into a prepared routine when your office is a few steps away from your bed! Make a conscious plan to get up as you might if you were working elsewhere. In the sunnier weather, why not have a coffee outside, or take a quick walk before getting ready for your day?   
  
  
• Find new spaces Working from home doesn’t have to always mean ‘home’! Look for other spaces you can utilise for your working day. This might be a library, a park or a cafe. Make sure to check with your employer regarding their remote-working guidelines to ensure this is possible.   
  
  
• Keep a diary It’s important to keep track of your to-dos and to-bes but we’ve all been caught out! Working from home makes it much less likely that a colleague will remind you about that morning staff meeting… keep a clear diary that allows you to plan out your day in terms of meetings with others, tasks to do, and things to monitor.   
  
  
• Set up a separate space It can be tricky to switch off from work when you’re working where you relax, too! Try and create a separate space for your working day that can either be packed away or shut a door on when you finish to ensure a healthy work-life balance.    
  
  
• Keep to your times When you aren’t working to a timed routine with others, such as how a school day is structured with breaks, new classes, and lunchtimes, it can be easy for the day to roll into one. By the time you realise, it’s 4pm and you’ve not eaten since breakfast! Ensure that you take regular breaks that are really breaks: this means getting up from your space and doing something completely different. This could be something as simple as sorting the laundry, or as extravagant as a picnic in the park for lunch. Whatever you do, make every effort to govern your time and set your own scene.   

Working remotely comes with amazing benefits and can give you a great sense of independence and flexibility in your working day. But, it can be a challenge to transition to and it’s important to take the steps you need to make it work for you. 

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog.

I'm Emily, part of the Student Minds Editorial team. I'm an Early Years Teacher and, when I'm not writing with the SM team, I'm content writing all about Early Years.

A leap of faith: starting a masters with a mental health condition

Madeleine describes how it feels to make the decision to start a masters with a mental health condition and how she reached this choice.

- Madeleine

I recently made the decision to go back to university in September and start a masters. This was not a decision I took lightly, as someone whose mental health illness is triggered by stress, I was worried I would be unable to face the pressure a masters would entail. 

I came to the conclusion that, with the right support, I should aspire to do anything someone without a mental illness can do. I previously worked in the laboratory after graduating from a degree in biology. I eventually felt that I was not suited to this kind of work and took some time away from the lab to decide what to do next. The logical next step was to go back to studying to create a more niche skill outside of the laboratory. 

However, I struggled to know whether I could do a masters. Some people’s reaction to my debate was a face of surprise that I was considering further study. Although I had many supporters of the idea, the doubters clouded my vision, along with my own flurry of self-doubt. 

Deciding whether I’m up to the task of doing a masters is a bit of a leap of faith in myself. I won’t know until I’m doing it if it’s the right step for me. But I think that’s what this stage of life is about- trying new things and testing out my theories on what I’d like to do. After all, you don’t know until you try! Having a mental health problem can really chip away at your sense of self-ability. Especially with everyone’s own interpretations of what mental illness is floating around. I hear people’s opinions on others who struggle with their mental health and wonder what that says about me. But the truth is it affects everyone differently, and no two people are the same, even with the same diagnosis. What one person thrives at may be another person’s version of hell. 

Finding what makes you tick and what gets you out of bed in the morning is the key to believing in your self-ability. The more you test out what works for you, the more confident you feel. It’s this mindset that I am going to bring with me into my masters. I’m testing out what’s right for me, and if it’s my path, I’ll thrive. 

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

I'm Madeleine, a Sub-Editor of the blog. I am trying to change career whilst navigating how this affects my mental health as someone with a diagnosis of bipolar. I hope to reassure anyone in similar situations that they're not alone and there are steps forward to get to where they want to be. 

Navigating the winter blues as a PhD student

Chrissie shares her experience of managing the winter blues and tips for getting through this alongside doing a PhD. 

- Chrissie 

Life as a PhD student can bring its own unique benefits and challenges. We get to pursue our own intellectual curiosities and benefit from flexible working hours. But doing a PhD also means working alone, juggling lots of responsibilities, and managing the stresses of a demanding degree. PhD students are particularly vulnerable to poor mental health, so during the winter months – when many people experience a drop in mood and experience the winter blues – it’s especially important that we take extra time to look after our wellbeing. 

PhD life amidst the winter blues

I’m currently a PhD student and work predominantly from home. I’ve come to realise that the winter season affects my mental health, and in turn my ability to work. I can feel my mood dropping as I watch the sunset during working hours, my motivation sinking with it. My work output reduces, my daily word counts get smaller, and I feel less enthused about working alone at a desk. I feel the desperation kick in as I think to myself, ‘I must go outside!’, and take myself on a walk or enforced errand to capitalise on what’s left of the daylight. It can be challenging to keep working in this frame of mind. 

As PhD students, our schedule is different to that of other students. Postgraduate researchers don’t follow semester patterns in the same way. So, while campus winds down for Christmas, and undergraduate students leave their university cities for hometowns, we continue working and living our normal routines. This can make it all the more challenging - emails land in our inbox from student unions reminding us that term is over, but for most PhD students, we keep working to meet all our work demands and deadlines.

Winter blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Many of us may feel a bit lower during the winter months – with the lack of sunlight causing a dip in our mood and shorter days limiting evening activities. According to the Wellcome Trust, 1 in 5 people “claim to experience the winter blues”, and serotonin levels tend to be lowest in winter. The government also advises that everyone takes vitamin D supplements in autumn and winter. 

But it’s important to note that what some people experience is actually a type of seasonal depression, known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). If you think you may have SAD, you can read more about the symptoms and when to see a GP from here, plus some ways to help manage it here. 

Tips to keep going during winter

Doing a PhD is already stressful enough, and lonely too. Data on PhD students showed that 37% “sought help for anxiety or depression caused by PhD study”, while 80% said they “believe a career in research can be lonely and isolating”. It’s helpful to acknowledge this vulnerability, and emphasise that it’s therefore especially important for PhD students to take extra steps towards self-care during winter. I try to do the following: 

Consider workspace

I predominantly work from home, as do many PhD students. This can mean waking up in the dark, working indoors, and finishing work in the dark. So I try to schedule time outside (like breaks, walks). You could also move around – for example go to coffee shops, libraries, a designated study space if you have one. This forces you outside (even for a little while) and offers a change of scenery, which may give a bit of a mood boost.  

Adapt work expectations

If you find that your productivity shifts during winter, that’s okay. In my experience, my output ebbs and flows – sometimes I get lots done in a day or week, sometimes not so much. These waves are reflective of the writing and research processes, and are natural and expected. It’s all about making the PhD journey more sustainable, and aligning your working pattern with your energy levels and work capacities. 

Practice gratitude for the season

Generally I’ve learned that I struggle in winter, so I try to hold on to things that bring me joy during this time period. Engaging with festivities around Christmas helps, such as going to a market at the weekend, watching a Christmas film with a friend, or getting a fun winter drink while I work at a coffee shop.

Get outside when there’s daylight (especially when there’s sunshine!)

This is perhaps no surprise, as we’re often encouraged to do this – it helps our circadian rhythms, and generally makes us feel better.  But it’s important to emphasise that no work is more important than mental health. Even if I feel like I don’t have time for a break, I try to remember that it will help my headspace in the long run (and probably also make me more productive as a result!). 

I’m writing these suggestions not as a self-care wizard, but simply someone experiencing these challenges myself and figuring it out along the way - and not just get through it, but keep my PhD on track as well. Most of all, my advice to any student at this time of year would be: listen to what your body is telling you about your physical and mental health, and what support or comforts it needs. 

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

Chrissie Thwaites is a PhD candidate at the University of Leeds, funded by the AHRC. During her studies she has discovered how widespread mental health struggles are for postgraduate researchers. She is therefore passionate about advocating for wellbeing within higher education, as well as amongst those navigating the challenges of young adult life.

Finding your feet: what it means to think about your future

Alex, a counselling student, shares his thoughts on navigating mental health, academic life and previous experiences in employment and the emotional impact. He offers signposts for figuring out what happens next.

- Alex

What happens next can feel like entering a forest alone and without a guiding light. 

I’ve just finished my first year at university studying Counselling and Psychotherapy. While the last year was a mix of excitement, challenges, fun, and stress, I feel an all too familiar sense of anxiety as I find myself at the threshold of the summer holidays …entering into the wilderness of the real world and within that wilderness I must get a job. 

So, a little backstory … Coming to University has been a long journey and one in which I may proudly declare myself as a mature student. I love University: attending lectures, meeting new people, building friendships, countless study sessions in the library, and that feeling of boggle-eyed excitement that what I’m studying will follow me beyond my time at Uni. More than educational or professional development, however, I love the freedom University provides me!  Before University I was in lacklustre and unfulfilling jobs for twelve whole years. While these jobs paid the bills, I always felt and always knew these jobs kept me in a cycle that was detrimental to my mental health. 

A twelve-year cycle of zero-hour contracts, grasping at every extra shift, and ultimately being a doormat for companies that could replace you as quickly as they could fire you.  Within my first year of Uni ending very soon, I can already feel both a yearning for September to swiftly arrive and dread having to fill the subsequent time with work. Maybe anyone finishing their degrees feels a similar sense of anxiety regarding the unknown.

Maybe it’s the temporary popping of the social bubble that university provides. 

Maybe it’s knowing about the “all business” atmosphere employment seemingly functions on.

Maybe it’s all, none, or more of the above.

I feel panicked at the idea of undoing all the personal and professional growth I’ve achieved over the last few years by compromising for a paycheque. Trying to find that seemingly elusive unicorn of a job: a job that develops and challenges my current skills within my chosen degree; a job that pays the bills; a job that doesn’t drain my passion or negatively impact my well-being.  For me, these anxieties conjure within me as debilitating and catastrophizing questions... 

• “What jobs look good on CVs and Placement applications?” 
• “How do I find these perfect jobs?”  
• “What if they turn out to be dead-end or unfulfilling? 
• “How do I know that this job isn’t going to be like my previous negative experiences of jobs?” 

HOWEVER

Noticing these is half the battle. Behind these fears and concerns are passion and enthusiasm, not just for a career, but for myself. There’s a want and a willingness to be my own biggest fan. 

It is this inner “cheerleader” that I listen to when I look at opportunities or seek support. I know what I want and what is best for me. I’d encourage anyone to listen to that inner voice and where it pulls/pushes them regarding what happens next. Yes, career highlights are important, as is keeping yourself financially stable during these trying times. 

Some top tips: 

• Speak to all you can and seek out opportunities for growth but ones that feel right for you. In addressing my own employment experiences, the world is seemingly turning to what employers can offer YOU rather than the other way around. 
• Interviews can and should go both ways, what can these organisations offer to you? 
• Whether you're in the middle of Uni life, like myself, or at the end of your degree, speak to as many of your fellow students, careers advisors, and lecturers as you: out of many conversations a new idea may be brought into your awareness!
• Try writing it down: write down what your inner voice is telling you! spider-diagram any and all ideas that feel right for you!
• Balance your navigation of  "what comes next" with personal downtime... or better yet non-time, enjoy doing nothing at all once in a while, you deserve it!

However, with the idea that not every aspect of you must be an employable commodity, look at the things you love, that you enjoy, and how they flow into what you've studied, you may just make something brand new!

Remember, you’re not alone in the forest. We’re all finding our own way through.

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

I'm a Counselling and Psychotherapy student wanting to share my experiences of being a student and my mental health. I love drinking endless cups of coffee! reading all I can! Screening movies! and not sitting still!

It’s a big world out there: the untold truths of being an international student in UK and how to navigate some of the challenges

Roberta shares the truths and struggles of being an international student living in the UK, giving some useful tips on how to manage this new experience.

- Roberta Gaeta

Moving to this country to study is clearly a popular choice for many students from abroad.  When looking at what the UK could offer me, the high-quality courses and the multiculturalism were the main factors that led me to leave my country, Italy,  to study in London. Embarking on a new journey is always exciting, as you get to experience a new culture, improve the language and make new friends. England is indeed known for being one of the greatest melting pots in the world, with its diverse cultures and the possibility of meeting people from around the world. 

However, for the students themselves, moving away from home, and becoming an ‘international student’ is not always all fun and games. It can bring many challenges along the way that can affect your mental health. Having to juggle between assignments, work and social life, on top of taking care of my own house, was definitely a challenge for me, as I was experiencing for the first time what being an adult meant. Although starting a new chapter of your life in a different place might be invigorating, doing it all by yourself can be tough and being in an unfamiliar environment miles and miles from the safe space of home can be intimidating when you don’t know anyone and everything is new. 

You’re trying to understand the country, its different culture and how to fit in. Most prominently, for some, is the homesickness that comes with being away from your family and loved ones. You might see yourself experiencing a sense of alienation and loneliness and feeling like you don’t belong here. You might find yourself juggling between assignments and part-time jobs, saving up every single penny and cutting down on social activities, trying to deal with the financial pressure that comes from the cost of living crisis affecting Britain and having to support yourself, making it hard to focus on education and friends.  We live in a world that is rapidly changing and we are faced with greater responsibilities than our previous generations, having to deal with more stress and anxiety, lower pay and job insecurity, higher expectations and a competitive work environment where failure is not an option.

In this stage of our life, the support of our family and close friends becomes critical and not having them around can be challenging.  Being an international student can be hard and you might feel overwhelmed, but you don’t have to go through this change alone. Having the support of my family and close friends and being able to open up to them really helped me overcome my struggles and it taught me there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable and asking for help. It’s important to recognise the tricky situations you might be facing and acknowledge how best to overcome those challenges.

Here are some steps that from my experience might help you to settle in: 

• Get involved in activities. Joining the gym is what helped me the most mentally, but even going for a walk with a friend for some fresh air can help immensely! The easiest and most fun way to make new friends and beat homesickness is to go out and explore the city and what it has to offer. The UK is known for its music, sport and food so the options are endless.  Depending on where in the UK you move to, there will be lots of versatile, vibrant, and varied things on offer! Make the most of your university networks to explore what’s on offer. 
• Do things that bring you happiness and fulfilment. Take up that hobby you had left behind (or take up a totally new one!) and use it as a way to express yourself and reconnect with your passions. It will boost your mood and help you when you’re feeling stressed or burned out. I personally love to paint or play cards with my roommates as it’s something I used to do back home with my friends.
• Talk to people you trust. When you’re feeling down, to avoid isolating yourself, try to surround yourself with people that make you feel seen and heard. Don’t be scared to open up or ask for help. If you realise you’re struggling, there are resources and experts you can consult that will help along the journey. Get in touch with your University student support teams as a useful flag to finding the best next steps.

But most importantly, be kind to yourself. It takes time to settle in, be patient and believe in yourself.

Read more tips on studying abroad on the Student Minds website.

I'm Roberta, an international student who moved to London over a year ago to study for a master's degree. When I first arrived, everything felt exciting but I soon realised I was about to face many challenges along the way. I want my story to show other students that, although it can be tough, it does get better.

Imposter Syndrome at university

Rowchell shares information about Imposter Syndrome after researching on this topic to help fellow students who are experiencing feelings of inadequacy, incompetence and fraudulence despite the evidence that indicates otherwise.

- Rowchell Green 

Have you ever felt like a fraud? As though you have been placed in a fortunate position that you did not deserve? Or as if somebody else would be more appropriate to fill the shoes that you have stepped in? If you are familiar with these feelings, then you might have heard the word Imposter Syndrome and you would know first-hand, how over-bearing this can be, especially at university. 

Imposter Syndrome refers to the feeling of inadequacy, incompetence and fraudulence despite the evidence that indicates otherwise. With many friends who have been or are experiencing the impact of this issue, I started looking into this problem to try and help them find ways to mitigate those feelings.

Who can be affected by Imposter Syndrome?

Some may find it hard to believe that Imposter Syndrome can impact and affect the lives of individuals from many different walks of life, from a secondary school child to a ballerina, to a banker or even a librarian. Imposter Syndrome is a widespread condition: research shows that 70% of the population experience Imposter Syndrome at least once in their lifetime.

Whilst all humans can be affected by Imposter Syndrome, researcher Sherman has shown discriminations towards different groups could contribute to a higher vulnerability of individuals experiencing Imposter Syndrome among those groups. In societies where women are prejudiced against, females leaders might question whether they are deserving of their success regardless of the external evidence of their capabilities. Racial and ethnic stereotyping could also intensify the self-doubt experienced by ethnic minority students. 

How can we identify Imposter Syndrome?

To understand what Imposter Syndrome is and to remove common misconceptions, it is helpful to look at what the syndrome is not. Imposter Syndrome is not low self-esteem, workaholism or nerves — though individuals may experience these elements alongside having Imposter Syndrome. Three main signs are associated with Imposter Syndrome: the fear of being exposed as a fraud, the sense of fooling others into overestimating one’s ability and attributing one’s success to other factors. These feelings can be all-consuming. 

Imposter Syndrome and university life

Many of us may have experienced self-doubt. In small doses, this feeling of inadequacy can induce determination to disprove these troubling ideals. However, for an individual with Imposter Syndrome, these feelings are more likely to accumulate and produce an overwhelming sensation of fear about being exposed and losing all credibility. 

Evaluation and assessment are common themes of university life. Students are often required to be self-reflexive and self-critical in those processes. With the amount of pressure and tests that students face, whether this is in the form of assignments, group projects, grades, the constant need to brand, network or represent the best parts of ourselves to future employers, teachers or parents, it is understandable that a large number of university students experience Imposter Syndrome.

Starting university can be particularly difficult for people with Imposter Syndrome. Some of us might feel lost at the welcome lecture, finding 100 students sat down, blanked faced, staring at a grinning teacher who tells us that “you are welcome”,  that “the next few weeks may be challenging”, and that “if you made it here then you must be capable, and smart, and knowledgeable“ and everything else which you may think that you are not. It can be hard to hear those words, and suddenly see the corners of everyone else’s mouths turn up, smiling in agreement, smiling in confirmation, that they are smart and capable and deserve to be here, whilst some may think otherwise. So how can we overcome this? 

Small steps to overcome Imposter Syndrome

Fortunately, it is possible to overcome Imposter Syndrome. First, we can pay attention to our thoughts and acknowledge whether they are disabling or empowering in order to navigate the habitual cognitive patterns that we may have. We are also advised to consider our strengths and be appreciative of the fact that perfection is unrealistic, to reduce the high expectations we have of ourselves. Most importantly, it is helpful to discuss our feelings with a trustworthy friend or family — opening up about insecurities or struggles can allow us to make progress in the right direction and receive the support we need. 

If you identify with some of the topics mentioned, I urge you to remember that you are not alone. In that welcome lecture, where 100 of you are sat down, many of you may feel the same way and it is important to know that there are support services available to you — all of you!

** Following studies were consulted when writing this blog:

• The Imposter Syndrome, or the Mis-Representation of Self in Academic Life (Joel Bothello & Thomas Roulet, 2018)
• How to Stop Feeling Like a Phony in Your Library: Recognizing the Causes of the Imposter Syndrome, and How to Put a Stop to the Cycle (Lacy Rakestraw, 2017)
• Imposter syndrome: when you feel like you’re faking it (Rose Sherman, 2013)

Visit Student Space to explore online resources for self-care, access direct support via text, phone, web chat or email and find the support available at your place of study. 

 

 

Hello, my name is Rowchell Green and I am a student at Warwick University. I am studying Psychology with Education studies. I have an extreme passion about understanding human behaviour and bettering the education system. Outside of studying, I enjoy writing blogs and creating content! You can go to my blog The Student Voice to find more academic-related and wellbeing content created by me. 

My experience with temporary withdrawal

Linda talks about her decision to take a temporary­­ withdrawal during her Master’s.

 - Linda

I applied for a temporary withdrawal in April or May 2020. There were many small reasons that amalgamated and created a huge mess. I questioned my intentions for doing a masters as my main motivation to do so was get a distinction to override the 2:1 I received for my undergraduate. I feared I was not employable, so applying for jobs absolutely terrified me. I hadn’t really thought through what course to study, where and whether it was the right time for me. I was very confused and tired. I was severely neglecting my mental health and ended up horribly sleep deprived and depressed. Additionally, in January, my partner and I had split up. I wanted to compartmentalise my grief and sadness into one week, but it seeped out into the following months and most aspects of my life. My identity as a ‘good girlfriend’ was stripped from me and I overcompensated by reaffirming my identity in other areas. I collected yet another part-time job, I spent more time being a good friend socialising, and studied and studied and studied. Nothing could fill that gaping hole and with all the commitments, I ended up teetering on an edge.

When the pandemic hit, everything became infinitely more stressful. I had spent months training myself to keep home, studying and work separate. My bedroom was supposed to be a safe space from the world, I could not be productive there. Additionally, my degree was moved online, and I couldn’t see my family or friends. My brain just couldn’t handle all of the changes. The straw that broke the camel’s back came with my last assignment; I could not finish it so I was granted a five-day extension. I cried on most of those five days. I was so tired and desperate. My final piece was barely a first draft, I didn’t even have time to get it checked over by my supervisor. It hit me that I was experiencing pressure so immense that it was affecting my academic performance. With my lack of motivation, sleep deprivation and depression, I could see myself burning out completely and screwing up my dissertation and mental health further. I HAD to stop.

Stop! It felt like a weakness. I saw my temporary withdrawal as an admission that I was incompetent and not suited for a masters.  I was very worried about how people would perceive me. Some people were worried that I couldn’t cope with a masters and now, I had proved them right.

By June, I was not in education or employment which was a first for me. Every day felt insignificant, wasted away by going on walks, drawing and listening to audio books. Instead of being adult, I was ignoring the massive looming debt due to my decision to take time off. I had dwindled my student loan and had little means to afford rent for the next year. I needed money but I couldn’t be bothered to work. Occasionally, I would apply for jobs as another way of filling my day.  In the early stages of my temporary withdrawal in general though, I experienced a pervasive nothingness.

Eventually, each day became easier. My best friend had the idea of starting a joint art page on Instagram to share our art so drawing started to feel more purposeful. My friend and I started small giveaways, she would make bookmarks and I postcards, and we would send them out to friends and family. Initially, it was spurred by boredom, but soon creating and sending postcards became very rewarding. I was connecting with family, friends and meeting new people. People were appreciative of my postcards; they were a little happy thing in an otherwise grim situation. A friend and local reverend who owned a small business contacted me and offered small postcard commissions and so my postcards reached even further than I thought they would. Each day on my walks, I would call my dad and we would gossip about my siblings. I would venture further on each walk, exploring forests and admiring buildings and street art. This was especially exciting as a year prior to this, an unfortunate injury had drastically reduced my mobility. During July, I was working at a local charity where I supported people experiencing isolation. Life started to feel less heavy.

I no longer feel any shame for taking a temporary withdrawal. I now see that I have nothing left to prove to people. I don’t need a masters to show that I am good at research or a distinction to show that I am smart. I am not weak or pathetic for taking a break when I needed one. I did not waste my time drawing, socialising and walking. I have had the time and space to think. Maybe I was not informed going into my masters. However, I do not regret it. I do miss psychological research however and will eventually finish my masters.

Here are some of my drawings from lockdown and my temporary withdrawal. The bottom row shows five postcards. The middle three are ones I was commissioned for.

Visit Student Minds for further support and Student Space is here to help you through coronavirus. Explore online resources, access direct support via text, phone, web chat or email and find the support available at your place of study.

I am Linda. I did a BSc in Psychology at the University of Warwick and now I am studying a MSc in Psychological research and working part-time at a charity that tackles isolation in adults.

WELL at Uni?

Michael shares his experience about wellbeing at University.

- Michael 

University is a journey. For me, it has been a really rewarding road; I have learned so many things about myself and achieved things that I never would have imagined possible! But it can be challenging when you first settle in, and it took me a while to learn some tips and tricks to adjust, and get the best out of my time at university. Here is my story.

Coming from two years out of education, I always felt that I didn’t belong academically or socially at university. My application to my university had been previously rejected (twice!), and I never shook the feeling of imposter syndrome and that I wasn’t ‘good enough’ to be there. This made me anxious around others, self-critical, and develop some pretty unhealthy working patterns, as I strove to prove to myself and others that I deserved my place on my course.

Unsurprisingly, this unhealthy mindset made it really hard to settle in. I was so fixated on not falling behind with my studies that I never got involved in any clubs or societies where I could meet other people and make friends. In class, I didn’t contribute or talk to other people for fear I would expose myself as being out of my depth. I was constantly fixated with running out of money, and felt that I couldn’t afford the student social lifestyle anyway. And I was also a couple of years older than most people, and after a period of mental health difficulties which had resulted in two years away from education, I felt as if I was coming from a different background, with different experiences, to everyone else.

I found the academic culture and pressure especially difficult to adjust to. I struggled with workload and time management, I stressed about minute details and found it hard to prioritise, and I was constantly preoccupied with ‘failing’ or ‘falling behind’ and the need to be productive. I found the competitive culture and environment at university was not conducive to self-compassion, self-care, and mental wellbeing. I interpreted my whole education as a threat, never contributing to anything in class for fear that it was a test which I would inevitably fail. I worked unhealthy hours and patterns trying to feel comfortable on my course and though I belonged at university. But the harder I worked, the more that I isolated myself, the more unwell I became, and the worse I performed. 

After receiving some support from the counselling service that helped me to understand my feelings, I gradually grew in confidence and started to really enjoy my studies and my time at university. Approaching my studies differently helped to develop my sense of purpose, confidence, and wellbeing. Based on this experience, I started to question whether and how changes to university structure and culture could support better student mental health and wellbeing. And how changes to curriculum, assessment, and teaching and learning could improve student education and wellbeing.  

My experience of university inspired me to launch the WELL @ UNI study, or the Wellbeing and Experiences of Living and Learning at University study, to explore how university policies and practices can impact positively or negatively on student mental health and wellbeing, and how this is experienced by different student groups. I am currently conducting an online survey, open to all undergraduate and postgraduate students in the UK until 11.12.20. It takes approximately 15-20 minutes to complete and participants will have the opportunity to enter a £50 prize draw. Please consider sharing your story, so that we can represent and learn from the diversity of student experiences and, working in collaborative partnership with mental health organisations, make recommendations from the study for healthier policy and practice. Follow me @PriestleyMJ to keep up to date with the project and find out more. 

We know that experiencing mental health difficulties at university can feel overwhelming. Explore the support that is available at your university and further. 

Student Space is here to help you through coronavirus. Explore online resources, access direct support via text, phone, web chat or email and find the support available at your place of study.

Tips on navigating university life/Freshers: Explore tips and resources to help you navigate university life in Student Minds’ Transitions guide.

I’m Michael and I used to be the editor of the Student Minds Blog and a member of the Student Minds Advisory Committee. I am a PhD student at Durham University studying student mental health and wellbeing. I write for Student Minds to share my own experiences of mental health difficulties and to advocate for change to improve the state of student mental health. 

 

 

 

The Power of Graduates Coming Together

Rebecca writes about her experience researching the transition out of university, starting a community for graduates to share advice and tips, and how graduate support has improved her mental health.

- Rebecca Moynihan

Coming out of university is pretty scary. There are so many expectations (from yourself and others), so many comparisons to make to other graduates, and so many obstacles to overcome. I remember when I finished my undergraduate degree in 2017, I couldn’t focus on my success, I could only focus on the fact I was having to move back to my family home, and I hadn’t yet secured a ‘grad role’, in fact, I had no idea what I wanted to do. This to me was one big fat failure in trying to be the adult I was now expected to be. My mental health really took a turn for the worst. 

Not knowing what I wanted to do, I jumped at the chance of going into a funded research degree. That sweet relief of two more years to hide away from the real world and all its responsibilities. I decided to research the transition out of university into the ‘real world’ - for obvious reasons. I wanted to see if I was alone in my feelings of utter dread and uncertainty. 

I interviewed 20 different graduates from different degree backgrounds. I spoke to them about their experiences in university, how they did/didn’t prepare for making the transition, how they had found their transition so far - positive and negative, and what they wish they had known. I found talking to other graduates both fascinating and comforting. It was difficult to keep myself separate and away from my research, and difficult to not turn around and be like ‘I FEEL THE SAME!!’ when people validated my own concerns/anxieties. For example, my interviewees reported feeling they had returned to being a child when they moved back home with parents. They struggled to handle job rejections - thinking they’re degree would have secured them roles, they faced job stigma (i.e. ‘when are you going to get a ‘proper job’?) and all in all, feeling a little lost and vulnerable without the university bubble. I asked graduates how they managed to cope with all these feelings of uncertainty and all of the difficulties they faced, the vast majority of interviewees disclosed feeling some comfort in knowing others’ were ‘in the same boat’. 

In university, it’s easy to feel part of a community. There’s no comfort like being in the library late at night rushing to finish an assignment and looking around to see other students doing the same, fuelled by caffeine and stress. There’s no comfort like moaning to your course mates about student finance, or about referencing and word counts. You can all relate to each other, some way or another. And you’re all on the same path, with the same goal. Work hard to finish university and get your degree. It’s when you get out of university when it all gets a bit messy. 

With my mental health taking a hit, feeling lost and those well documented ‘graduate blues, I set up One Oh One a blogging platform with an aim of connecting graduates. A place to share my graduate experience, to interview other graduates and share advice/tips for surviving the real world and for looking after your mental health. My platform is not the only one existing out there, only further highlighting the need for graduates to feel connected, and to reach out for the advice and support they often lack once leaving behind education. There are platforms out there which are set up to share CV writing tips - offering free consultancies - platforms to support graduates in the events agency, platforms to support and highlight the achievements of female graduates, and BAME graduates. There are platforms to support graduate mental health, job searching, and just general advice. Once you graduate university, the support network and student community you have been used to for all your years in education, completely vanishes. 

Communities like mine, and the others which are cropping up feel like one big peer support group - a bunch of graduates trying to survive for the first time without their support bubbles, and clinging together in a world that is often unrelenting to those fresh from university. Where the university support ends, graduates are pulling together to keep it going. You can feel so alone when you come out of university, you can feel like you’re falling behind (though there is no race), you can feel like the world wants you to fail. It can really impact on your mental health, as it did mine. It is so refreshing to be able to connect with so many different graduates, to hear their advice, to see the realities of the real world, and most importantly, to feel less alone. Follow me: Instagram: @one_oh__one Twitter: @oneohoneblog 

Visit the Student Minds website for more information on graduate mental wellbeing in the workplace . 

I am Rebecca - my degrees are in Psychology (BSc, MRes) and I am sharing my own story of graduating, knowing from experience how comforting it is to hear other people's stories and advice. My mental health has taken a hit since graduating, and connecting with other graduates has been a massive support network for me

Student-ing, Parenting and Locking Down During the COVID-19 Pandemic

Heather writes about the challenges of being a student and a parent, and how these have been compounded during the Covid-19 pandemic. 

- Heather Sutherland  

Just less than two weeks after the official start date of my PhD, my 6-year-old’s school was closed for the foreseeable future as COVID-19 tsunami-d the world.

On the one hand, I felt relief – for all the statements regarding the virus ‘not really affecting children’, I felt safer in the knowledge my child would be at home, away from possible infection. But on the other hand, as the realisation hit that I would now be a parent and home-school provider and (full time) PhD student simultaneously, my mind raced anxiously with the possible scenarios that the situation now posed, the non-availability of time in which to carry out the activities required, and with concern about my overall ability to manage.  

My previous experience of being a student-parent (before a global pandemic) had been quite stressful in itself. The institution that I was part of had no real recognition or provision for the needs of student-parents. It had been up to me to expose the (perceived) vulnerability and difference of my needs, relying on the kindness and understanding of an individual lecturer who allowed my then-5-year-old to sit in on two 2-hour sessions on quantitative research methods when childcare couldn’t be secured. 

The pandemic lockdown has amplified such challenges. I have found, as a student-parent, the challenges of studying through lockdown have been exacerbated by the seeming lack of specific and easily locatable institutional acknowledgement of students who are also parents or guardians. It is not that being a parent is an immediate risk factor for lowered wellbeing or mental ill health (the role can actually be a strength in many ways); unavoidably however, being a parent and a student concurrently can add pressures not experienced by others in an academic cohort, which can then increase stress and the risk of mental ill health developing if not responded to or (self) managed in a timely way. Add in a pandemic and the mixture can be particularly problematic for maintaining good mental health and wellbeing.

Because parenting is clearly not the norm for undergraduate students, the circumstances of holding both ‘student’ and ‘parent’ identities is often overlooked or misunderstood. Part of the issue is a persisting assumption that ‘the student’ is ‘the child’, a young person without attachment, free to explore and form new identities away from the family home. During this pandemic, I have seen many stereotypical references to how ‘students can just go home to their parents’ or how “crestfallen students have journeyed back to their childhood bedrooms…to chores, revived sibling rivalries and curfews”. But whilst we student-parents may be in the minority, this does not mean our (frequently stressful) experiences are any less keenly felt or any less deserving of acknowledgement both in the public sphere or in academic institutions. Even the excellent resource devoted to a whole university approach for supporting the mental health and wellbeing of the whole student population and university sector contains no explicit reference to the specific needs of student-parents or guardians, whilst the reference that does appear in new doctoral specific wellbeing resources does not reflect the full reality/complexity of the situations faced by many student-parents/guardians. Whilst there is no doubt that knowledge of and recognition for individual characteristics of students is increasing and developing depth, there remains a remarkable overlooking of those of us who are both a parent/guardian and a student.

What therefore, either during or outside of a coronavirus pandemic, about those of us who are the parents/guardians, whose studies are actually the jobs and income sources (via scholarships etc.) for a family, who are charged with securing the household for young(er) people inside who are looking to us daily for safety and reassurance and routine? 

Read Part Two for my reflections on looking after wellbeing as a student-parent during lockdown.

For more information Student Space is here to make it easier for you to find the support you need during the coronavirus pandemic.

Find out more on how to look after your mental health during the outbreak here. 

Hi, I’m Heather. I’m currently a PhD student at Northumbria University, bringing to my studies 20 years of experience in academia (as a student, researcher, and tutor, in the UK and abroad). I chose to focus my work on ‘Student Mental Health’ after having lost my brother to suicide, endured my own difficulties whilst a student, and seen the struggles of others within the academic community. I believe hearing and listening to student voices and lived experiences is key to developing approaches to, help for and improvement of student mental health and wellbeing today.

Preparing for a PGCE (and Going back to University)

Emily shares experience of prioritising mental wellbeing when making crucial decisions during the preparation of a PGCE.

- Emily Maybanks

The thought of going back to university for more intense study either for a MA degree, or a year of teacher training can seem daunting. After a couple of years out of university since graduating with my BA degree in Modern Languages, Translation and Interpreting from Swansea University, it certainly does for me. In September 2020, I will be starting a Postgraduate Certificate in Education (PGCE) in Secondary Morden Foreign Languages at the University of Reading to train to teach French and German at secondary level. Whilst this is without a doubt exciting as it has always been my goal and dream to teach languages, it also feels a little unnerving preparing for an intense year, especially as I struggled with my mental health during my undergraduate degree.

There are certain elements of PGCE programmes which have made preparing for a PGCE easier. Choosing between staying somewhere familiar or moving somewhere new is a huge decision to make when preparing for training to be a teacher and I decided to stay in my hometown to save myself the stress of finding somewhere to live for a year somewhere. For my PGCE year, I will be living at home so I won’t be moving away for my teacher training and will, therefore, be in a familiar place, with people I know to support me, and also I could potentially be doing placements in schools I have already observed in. This is reassuring as it will enable me to get organised more efficiently before September.

Another crucial choice to make when preparing for a PGCE is between university-led routes versus school direct teacher training routes. When I had my interview for the University of Reading, I was determined that a University-led PGCE was my first choice. I’d spent months researching University-led versus school direct teacher training routes and I decided that a university-led route would be more of an “ease you in to the classroom gradually” style compared to “throw you in at the deep end teaching classes right away” style. Also, with the University-led route, I was given the condition to undertake Subject Knowledge Enhancement courses (SKE) to boost my confidence and my specialist knowledge before starting the course.

Subject Knowledge Enhancement courses have been a really good way to increase my knowledge of the languages I’ll be teaching but also of the curriculum and what school students study. I am doing an SKE course in French even though I studied French during my BA degree and I’m essentially studying an A-Level French course, which is great because A-Level French has changed a lot since 2012! And for my German SKE course, I’m studying the language from scratch with conversation classes and insight to pedagogy. It’s very exciting.

Prioritising my mental health and wellbeing has been an important factor when deciding to stay at home and choosing a university-led route. I am anxious and concerned about how my mental health will be affected throughout my PGCE year – especially as I know it will be stressful and challenging. But having the support network of family, friends, familiar environment as well as the university-led teacher training course is reassuring. Teaching is a challenging but rewarding profession to enter and I’m excited for the challenges as well as the rewards.

You can find more tips and resources to help with the transition (back) to university here. If you are looking for mental health support for yourself, a friend or a loved one, you can also find more information and resources here. 

My name is Emily (Em). In 2018, I graduated from Swansea University with my BA degree in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting where I was also passionate about and dedicated to Swansea Student Media and the University students’ newspaper – Waterfront. In September 2020 I will be starting a PGCE at the University of Reading to train to teach Secondary MFL (French and German). I blog for Student Minds because I have experienced mental health issues as a student and now also as a graduate, as well as various other health issues, and I support friends who also have mental health difficulties. I am a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences – both in helping me to explore and to cope with my mental health, as well as sharing my story in order to help and inspire others.

#PostgraduatePressure Navigating the Demands of Postgraduate Study

Dan offers his advice on how to navigate the many demands and challenges of postgraduate study and the ensuing deadlines that come with it.

- Daniel 

The step up from undergraduate to postgraduate study is not a walk in the park. 

However, with the right outlook, attitude, and support, a Postgraduate course can offer you invaluable skills, knowledge, life lessons and memories which will stay with you forever. One aspect of postgraduate study which is particularly challenging is the management of your deadline calendar. 

Having completed an undergraduate degree, most people may have a good system in place for managing their deadlines. However, the postgraduate assessment calendar is a challenge within itself to both plan for and manage over time. Within this blog, I will offer my advice in the form of 3 areas, based on my own experiences, for the management of deadlines and assessments during a postgraduate course. 

1. Planning 

The postgraduate assessment calendar is not a forgiving one and nor are the pieces of coursework and exams within it. To manage these demands, I found planning to be key. For me, planning meant laying the initial groundwork for the 6 weeks building up to a deadline and how I was going to manage my time before then. A method that worked for me was identifying my deadline date and working backwards from there, cliché I know. To do this successfully, I identify any non-movables within those six weeks such as lectures, sports fixtures or work and pencil those in. Next, I would put aside some time each week for myself, whether that be to exercise, go grab a coffee, whatever. This was time that was non-comprisable and gave me some headspace during busy periods. 

Finally, I would assess how much of my time I could give to the deadline each week and create mini-milestones for each week. This gave me something to strive towards and also helped me to structure my day-today tasks/objectives. By doing this not only did I find myself chipping away at the deadline in manageable chunks, but my confidence in my ability to complete the assessment grew week-on-week. Whilst this method came to work for me, I will be honest and say I was really bad at sticking to it the first couple of attempts. I'm happy to admit the time I put aside for myself was always eaten in to and many of my 'non-movables’ went out of the window too. Whilst these methods do work, they take time to adapt to. They need to be individualised to each person when implemented.

If it doesn't work the first time around, then please don't ditch it, just reflect on it and try make it work better for you next time. 

2. Engage in Your Area of Study 

Being told to engage in your studies may seem slightly obvious, especially for postgraduate students who are clearly passionate enough about a certain subject area to carry on their education within it. 

That being said, postgraduate assessments are all about questioning your knowledge and how you apply that knowledge within set parameters. To do this, you must engage thoroughly in your given area of study to an extent that your knowledge is robust, and so is the way in which you operationalise it. 

Of course, spending days on end in the library with late nights and cans of red bull at your desk is not something I am promoting - that is where effective planning will ensure you have the time to engage thoroughly in your work (seems like I have thought this through eh). But having completed an MSc and now a PgDip, I can happily say that engaging in your area of study past lectures and essential reading is something that will benefit your knowledge and subsequently your grades far more than just scratching the surface with the work assigned to you. 

Engaging also doesn't mean just reading more, it can be questioning and reflecting on your own knowledge, interacting with significant academics in your industry online (twitter is great for this) or going to conferences to broaden your knowledge. 

When you are sat trying to type out your essay (other assessment types of course apply), you will be far more prepared to operationalise your knowledge than had you just sat copying out lecture notes. Whilst I am no expert, I found that effective planning and real engagement in my field of study were really beneficial to my successful study at postgraduate level. Were it not for a word limit I feel I could have much more to share from my own experiences with you all, providing anyone wants to read it! 

3. Patience and Self-Compassion

Lastly, I'd like to say that postgraduate study is hard but so rewarding, be patient and self-compassionate and you'll come out better for it!

You can find out more information and support about navigating university life here. For more information, The Wellbeing Thesis is a website to help postgraduate research students navigate the ups and downs of university life. 

I'm Dan, a 22-year-old postgraduate student who has been affected by issues with my mental health throughout uni. I’m still learning new things about myself and the higher education experience year on year and would like to share my experiences with others.

Refocusing my priorities

Linda shares her experience about managing her time whilst studying a Masters. 

- Linda

Why, why, why, would someone torture themselves by studying a Masters? There is the expense, intense workload, and imposter syndrome. My parents' friends tell me that I MUST be smart because I am tackling mountains and storms. My graduated peers shudder at the thought of more exams and coursework. Before starting my MSc, I looked at the outside world baffled because my friends preferred commuting on jam-packed trains and the rigid monotony that is a nine to five. I saw adults perpetually sleep-deprived, balancing parenting and working, paying council taxes and mortgages. In comparison to the other options, doing an MSc seemed like it would be a lot easier.

However, the first term of my MSc has been quite a challenge. During the first couple of weeks, I felt like I was floundering about. I had one lecture a week on research methods and everything else was independent work and study. It felt like a long stretch of procrastination and loneliness. I went to the University library every day, desperate to fill my time with something productive. I read journal articles. I worked; one, two, three, four part-time jobs. At home, I tried to be busy. I drew, and nothingness. My priority and purpose were to excel academically. By my fifth week, things had picked up in pace. I FINALLY received full ethical approval for my research project. I had to run forty individual laboratory experiments, analyse the data and write up a report.

Eager to get started, I woke up at seven every day, tested all day, and went home in the evening to work on my report plan. Five days later, I finished testing and analysing my data. I had twelve weeks to write my report. I could have stopped there with testing but being productive and proactive was addictive. I wasn't focused on recovering from my eating disorder. Eating nutritious and healthy meals could take a back seat. I did not care that I was shaking from the five cups of coffee that I drank in the morning. I wasn't worried about the fact that my sleeping pattern was deteriorating. I did not realise that I spent all my day locked up in a lab, living and breathing my research. Everything felt second-best compared to my research.

Fast forward four weeks, academically, I was doing exceptionally. I had run one-hundred experiments, whilst working four part-time jobs. My supervisor was impressed; she remarked that I was doing the level of work that she expected from a PH.d. student and that we could potentially try and publish our research in an academic journal. However, mental health-wise, I was struggling. I was hardly sleeping, socialising and engaging in my hobbies. I was having many outbursts of irritability and self-harming. I was excelling academically, but quite clearly unwell and unhappy. Don't get me wrong - studying an MSc does not mean that you will be unhappy. I personally feel like I need to constantly prove myself to the world. I have to appear smart, resilient and competent. I think it is a pervasive pattern of behaviour that would have surfaced regardless of whether I decided to work full-time or do a graduate scheme.

More than ever, going forward, my mental health, as opposed to my MSc, should be my priority. Since then, I have made some positive changes to improve my wellbeing. Under the supervision of my GP, I have increased my anti-depressant dosage. I am refocusing on recovering from my eating disorder in small steps and allowing myself space to breath. Hopefully, during my next term, I can maintain these positive changes whilst enjoying my MSc. 

For more information on looking after your mental health as a postgraduate, see here.  

Hello, my name is Linda. I am studying an MSc in Psychological research at the University of Warwick. I found out about Student Minds when I was doing my dissertation. I was impressed by their efforts to try and improve University experience and was eager to get involved.