The first was smoking cigarettes. It had begun as a social activity I did with friends. Before too long, though, I started to really enjoy the feeling a cigarette gave me. And soon I stopped enjoying it and started to rely on it to maintain normality.
With this dependence came negative feelings. Not only did the smoking itself make me feel lower-energy at all times, but the addiction brought on a feeling of helplessness I could not shake. I felt as if I was no longer in control of my life, which was an awful feeling.
My second dangerous habit was online gambling. I found it difficult to find exciting mental stimulation as a student in Vietnam… until I discovered online casinos. I went through the same phases with gambling addiction that I did with cigarettes; what started out as fun evolved into habit and then agonising dependence.
Unlike cigarettes, gambling did have a big impact on my bank account. My parents were sending me a large chunk of money each month at that point -- I’m lucky to come from a supportive background. But I was blowing nearly all of it on gambling.
I’ll always remember a line from the speech the dean gave on my university’s auditorium stage during graduation: “Now it is time for our graduates to begin their journey into the working world, and all the trials and tribulations that come with it.”
I took that line to heart, and I asked myself what those “trials and tribulations” would entail for me. Would I bring my demons with me? Would I continue sapping my health and losing money at a worrisome clip? The obvious answer was no, but I could hardly bring myself to stop those behaviours which had so quickly come to make up most of my identity… or so I felt at the time.
So instead of going cold turkey, I chose to take baby steps. My uncle (a reformed smoking addict) had told me about nicotine vapes that you can slowly decrease in nicotine content over time. I decided to give it a try, and I ordered one of the vapes from a local distributor.
Since then, I have very gradually decreased the nicotine content I smoke. I feel more clear-headed and I have a definite sense of pride in my own ability to make positive change that I never would have if I was still nursing my smoking habit. Eventually, I hope to get to 0% and, even further down the road, shed the vape completely. Baby steps.
For my online gambling addiction, I took another recommendation from a relative. My brother (who has always been much healthier than me) had for years been telling me to join him at a social casino he uses. He told me it’s free and it still provides the same mental stimulation as paid gambling through socialisation. When I realised online gambling would destroy my bank account (which my parents refused to continue supporting after I graduated), I decided to give the social casino idea a try.
And just like with the vape, I was astounded. I had always believed that the mental stimulation I needed could only be acquired through putting myself in dangerous situations, but that turned out to be totally false. Instead, I found stimulation by spending time with other happy, friendly individuals. And as an added benefit, I made friends online. Lots of them. It turns out healthy communities are actually a lot nicer than communities filled with addicts. Who knew?
I want to make it clear that I am not endorsing vapes or social casinos. I wish more than anything I had not started smoking or gambling in the first place, and that I did not need to use them as a coping mechanism. But I am endorsing baby steps. Almost everyone develops some kind of unhealthy habit, especially as a young person. And I want you to know that it is possible to kick those habits through small, incremental changes. Adopting a healthier lifestyle and removing negative habits from your life is a crucial part of success in the real world.
He currently lives in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, where he is learning to embrace life in a healthy and upwardly mobile way.
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