Revealing my self-harm scars

Kristina discusses her experience with self-harm scars.

- Kristina W. 

When I came to university, like most people, my entire friendship circle changed. Just like that, I had a new crop of people to explain my self-harm scars to. My flatmates, the people on my course, new friends, even professors. Unless I was going to studiously wear long sleeves, no matter the weather; they were going to see my scars. With the seeing, would most likely come questions.

The anxiety over the appearance of self-harm scars is a strong deterrent when it comes to trying new things, dressing for the weather and getting close to people. There are generally a few choices when it comes to scars:

• Cover with makeup (time-consuming and potentially messy)
• Tattoo over them to disguise them (expensive, might not be possible depending on the extent of the scarring)
• Topical treatments (which may or may not work)
• Laser treatment and surgery (expensive and may end up causing more scars)
• Accepting them (which is what I am trying to do)
  

I used clothes to cover mine day-to-day. Part of me was afraid of the conversations that would happen when people found out that I had scars. Another part of me feared the judgments that people would make about me because I had them.

I was able to keep them hidden while the weather was cold, but as it warmed up, the sweaters came off. Prepared to give my canned response to why I have the scars, I ventured forth. The responses I got, on the whole, surprised me.

Turned out, the people who cared about me were more concerned that whatever caused the scars weren’t a problem anymore and that I wasn’t in any danger of relapsing. I was lucky enough to not have had any overtly negative reactions to my scars. Although not everyone is that lucky, nobody is undeserving of happiness, friends, and relationships because they have scars.

Nobody should feel like they have to reveal their scars to anyone if they don’t want to. Some people actively conceal their scars and some don’t. There is no right way to go about it. Shame around having scars can negatively affect body image and self-esteem which can put the person with scars in a worse place. There are so many things that try and hold us back, but self-harm scars don’t need to be another one.
If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties similar to these, more information and support can be found here. More information about self -harm can be found here.

Kristina W. spent a year as an international student at the University of Glasgow. Her experience changed the way she looked at her mental health for the better. She blogs about her student experience, money and career at saynotobrokeness.com.

Free NHS Prescriptions for Students!

In this blog, Sub-Editor Carys shares her experience accessing financial support for her NHS treatments.

- Carys

It’s drilled into all new students about the importance of registering with a GP at university, yet the NHS Low Income Scheme for students is kept relatively quiet, even though the majority of us are eligible for free NHS prescriptions, and more! Financial concerns should not dissuade us from treating our illness, and this can allow for students to access treatment and recover without burdening us with added money worries. The scheme has allowed me to access two types of mental health medication I need to live my best possible life – since free talking therapies do not work for me, without this scheme in place I would not be able to treat my mental illness. But this scheme is not limited to just mental health medication, it can be for anything you get prescribed! In this blog I will share my experience of the application process and how you may also be able to get free NHS prescriptions, find out if you could be eligible on the NHS website. If you are still not sure, it is well worth applying just in case – you have nothing to lose!

Disclaimer:

Obviously, this does not apply to all students. You cannot access this scheme if you have more than £16,000.00 in savings – sorry! If this is you and you get regular prescriptions, I recommend looking into paying for prescriptions in advance: you can pay £104.00 a year for unlimited prescriptions.

Extra perks!

The NHS Low Income Scheme does not just help with prescriptions – I only use it for this but the NHS website also says the scheme can help you afford the following:

• NHS dental treatment
• Eye tests, contact lenses and glasses
• Any travelling to receive NHS care – for example bus tickets to hospital.
• NHS wigs and fabric supports

Filling out the form: 

If you are like me, with less than £16,000.00 to your name, here is the link to the NHS website where you can print a HC1 application form or order it to be delivered to your home. It is a lot of pages, so I always go for the second option – and order two copies, in case I mess it up.

Fill out the form to the best of your ability. I cannot really say much else on this point, since everyone’s financial circumstances are different so filling out the form is rather personal to you. At times I found it does get confusing, so it can be useful to ask a parent or student services at your university to help out if you get stuck. I usually ask my Mum to help – together, we fill out the form before I head to university, but I always hold off on posting it until I’ve moved out! Here are some more tips:

1. Do not put your boyfriend or girlfriend down as your partner! You only have a partner in this sense if you live in the same room and/ or have combined finances.
2. Where it asks for your address at the beginning, I put my university address down, rather than my family's home address. Putting your university address means that they can see you are paying rent here and that this money is not spare.
3. I advise against signing or posting the form before the date that you start paying rent.
4. Most of the student section of the form is in part 8 – the most important part for us. I find it helps to fill out this part first because it’s easier to understand and it’s where you give information about any financial support you get from Student Finance. Do not include Student Finance money in your savings amount. You will also have to send a photocopy of your Student Finance confirmation letter along with your form.

Once I have completed and signed the form, I post it to the address provided. If you ordered the form to be posted to you, an envelope is included with it – but remember the stamp! It usually takes less than a few weeks to get back to you with your certificate.

Getting a free prescription: 

Whenever I need to stock up on my medication, I simply take the certificate to the pharmacy along with your prescription. On the back of the prescription, I tick the ‘HC2 certificate’ option, and show the certificate to the pharmacist to prove that I do not have to pay full price. That’s all! Remember to check the expiry date on your certificate and do not use it past this date.

Even if I need to collect a prescription in the time between posting the form and receiving my certificate, I initially have to pay but I can ask for a refund once I have the certificate. When I pay, I ask the pharmacy for a receipt – this is different to the usual receipt we get when we pay. Simply keep this safe and return to the pharmacy once you have got your certificate, show them both and your prescription cost will be refunded. 

Changing financial circumstances: 

If your financial circumstances change throughout the year you can always fill in another form anytime, and there is no limit to the amount of forms you can fill out.

This my personal experience accessing financial support for my NHS treatments and tips I found helpful, you can find out more and if you are eligible on the NHS website.

Carys studies MA Interpreting and Translating at the University of Bath and is one of the Sub-Editors for the Student Minds blog. She is dedicated to helping students access any health and additional support they need to succeed at university.

You are not alone!

Emily writes about her experience seeking help during her mental health problems in her early twenties.

- Emily O'Neill

Looking back, I have struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember.

I remember having dark thoughts as a little girl. In fact, I still have my childhood diary, which makes for a sad read. My family and those close to me thought that I was a difficult child with anger problems and I remember my parents taking me to see a medical herbalist around the age of eight to see if it would be of any help.

As the years went by I became more frustrated with myself as I didn’t understand what was wrong with me. I believed that my family thought that I had chosen to be miserable and irritable so, in turn, I isolated myself as much as possible. I felt as if no one in the world understood me. On reflection, I don’t think at this point, neither myself or my family did.

During my teenage years, I recall crying on my bedroom floor telling my mum that I hate myself and didn’t want to be alive anymore. We went to the doctors and I explained how I was feeling and they gave me advice to write a diary. I was already writing in a diary at the time and it had not helped me feel any better or like myself more. The next few years I struggled to live with myself and my thoughts, but was convinced that there was no other option.

As I got older, I began to hear and learn more about mental health conditions and I started to wonder whether there was a chance this could apply to me. After the death of my beloved grandma, I was in a worse mental space than I had ever been before. I finally realised that I needed to get help before I ruined or ended my life.

I self-referred myself to Talking Therapies with a psychotherapist who recommended that I undergo Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Psychodynamic Psychotherapy. I was diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. The NHS offered me eight sessions on a weekly basis, once those sessions were finished, I was advised that I needed to seek further help privately. I then found another psychotherapist and psychiatrist privately that I saw on a weekly basis for almost a year. I had always been against antidepressants as I felt they would just mask the problem, but I now wanted to give them a try and to my delight they helped enormously.

I am delighted to say that it has been an upwards journey ever since. However, this process took me well over a decade and is still something that I have to work on most days.

I want individuals who are suffering with poor mental health to know that they are not alone, they are normal and there is help that they can get. It is now my passion to spread mental health awareness and self-help tools to as many people as possible through Balance Life Well.

I'm Emily and I'm currently working full-time whilst studying to become a counsellor. I wanted to share my story as I have suffered from depression for many years and hope that it may help others going through similar experiences to know that they are not alone. I've recently launched a website dedicated to the empowerment of mental health awareness:www.balancelifewell.co.uk

Coming up for Air

India, having suffered from depression and anxiety, uses a letter to explain how it helped her in overcoming her mental health issues. 

- India Croot

Dear Mother,

I have woken this morning with the courage to write to you. I feel like your mind must be troubled and confused by questions. There are two I hear you cry more than any others: ‘where have you gone?’ and ‘how do I get you back?’. It often feels like you ask me these as you stare into my eyes. It is hard to physically speak, to give you the answers to your questions, when I have no idea myself. So today, I will walk with you through how it feels each morning. Hopefully one day soon I will speak these words that I write, but for now, this is all I can do, and I do this because I want to ease your pain and help you understand the isolating and overwhelming feeling of struggling with my mental health difficulties. I feel scared that my feelings will start to creep over you and be a burden to you; this alone gives me the strength to fight.

Mornings feel hardest for me. It gets a little easier from there; I rub my eyes, propping my eyelids up as I do. Now I calculate, how many hours I will have to spend away from my bed today. It is not my bed I have an attachment to. It’s the hours in between that are exhausting; performing a 10-hour show each day is draining. It makes studying and socialising at university so hard. I feel emotionless. Every smile or laugh I present to my classmates today, has been rehearsed, ready for the live show. I begin to examine my room, my usual routine. Setting my mind on a task ensures I have no time to reminisce the past and become consumed by my difficult feelings. I scan the walls, ceiling and floor; searching for a minor detail I may have missed the previous morning.

Today a newly structured cobweb that hangs proudly has caught my eye. Such a simplistic task can provide me with such excitement. I wish I could focus and get excited like this on my studies. My eyes are transfixed, gazing into the air, focusing on nothing; it feels as if I’ve created a defence mechanism to shield myself against any thoughts or sounds that could trigger a landslide of feelings.

I haul myself from my bed; I have to get ready for uni. Thinking about every move I make; I lug my feet towards the shower. I’m unaware of how many precious moments I spend in here. I clock into autopilot and wash my hair and face, without fully acknowledging what I’m doing; it’s part of my routine. It’s only when the water runs cold that my body awakens, jolting forward to escape the shock. My day has begun. Whereas ‘getting ready’ to go to class used to feel simple, fluent, completed within half an hour, now an hour passes and it feels as if I’ve been frozen in time. I’m late for uni again. I reach for the pale-colored bag that sits on my dressing table blending into the cream wood. Inside is my identity, well the identity I wear most days for my peers. The Rimmel London foundation is my mask that hides the dark circles that lay beneath my eyes.

But even as I write this letter to you, it helps me to feel less hopeless and alone. By sharing how I feel and helping others to understand just how overwhelming every day can be when struggling with mental health issues, I feel better and more hopeful for my recovery. Opening up about my experiences through writing can be the first brave step for me to open up and reflect on these difficult feelings, help others to understand how much I am struggling, and get the support that I need for my recovery.

If you're feeling a similar way or want to find out more about depression or anxiety, you can find support here.

I'm India, a third-year journalism student at Falmouth University. I started battling with mental health at the age of 15 after a family trauma. I found coping mechanisms through writing and traveling and I no longer suffer at the hands of depression. We are all subjected to 'bad days' but I now know how to control them. I hope sharing my experience helps those still in a dark place.

Managing Self-Harm Continued

Jasmina shares her experiences of dealing with self-harm, and how she came to term with these struggles, in the 2nd of a 2 part blog post.

- Jasmina Kemp

Self-harm is when someone intentionally hurts or injures themselves. It is a way people deal with difficult feelings and allows them to relieve emotions they cannot express. Self-harm is unfortunately relatively prevalent in the student population. According to the Royal College of Psychiatrists, about 1 in 10 young people will self-harm at some point. As a student myself, I will share with you five main points that helped me deal with my self-harming behaviours.

1. Experiment with what makes you feel better.

To begin the process of recovery, you need to try and resolve the feelings that cause you to self-harm. There are so many things that could help you to cope with your difficult emotions. I personally do not think anybody's suggestions have been particularly helpful in relation to my self-harm so I encourage you to experiment with what works best for you.

To deal with the emotions I previously identified, I have found a range of different things to be helpful. If I miss someone, I write down what I would tell them if I were to see them. I find that an object like a teddy to cuddle gives me a form of comfort, but ultimately a hug from somebody I love would probably cheer me up the most. Similarly to this, if I am feeling stressed or anxious about a situation, I will write down a plan of action, to put my mind at rest.

2. You have to want to be able to stop.

Know that self-harming is damaging both for you and the people who care about you. Somewhere inside you, you have to find the motivation to stop, such as the encouragement of a personal goal or just simply the fact that you want to get better.

Personally, I am set on going to university as I am now behind a year, which is a big motive for me. I am striving to be happy and self-harming will not help me achieve my goals.

3. Surround yourself with positive people in a positive environment.

Try to spend time with people who make you happy and genuinely want you to feel better, whenever possible. If the people around you think positively, it is likely to lift your mood and encourage you to recover.

4. Know that some people will just not get it, and that is okay.

Even with an extensive history of mental health difficulties in my family, it took a long time for them to accept that I was struggling, potentially due to past experiences and probably culture too (me being half Polish). It can be draining and you can feel very alone. Self-harm is a coping mechanism and people who have not struggled with it themselves may find it difficult to understand or relate to. If people make insensitive or unhelpful comments but it’s important to ignore these as best as you can.

5. Do not put pressure on yourself to stop completely.

Setting yourself realistic goals and not being too hard on yourself will make recovery more achievable. If one day you suddenly decide to stop self-harming for good and then slip up after a while, you may feel disheartened and believe that recovery is impossible. Even once you have recovered there is always the possibility of relapse, so it is important to develop the tools and mindset to deal with the situation.

Read more of Jasmina's tips on dealing with self-harm in her further blog post here. 

If you are struggling with self-harm or any issues described in this post, you can find support here.

   

I’m Jasmina and am currently studying for my A-Levels in Biology, Chemistry and Geography. I am a keen harpist and also enjoy spending time with my horse in my spare time. Recently I have started blogging to try and help break the stigma surrounding mental health, support others who are struggling with their own emotional issues and raise awareness.