Monday 22 December 2014

Going home after the first term

As the end of my first term began approaching I could feel myself getting more and more anxious. I have always found it hard to deal with long holidays at home, when my parents are out at work all day, my sister is preoccupied, and everyone around me seems to be busy doing things. It could just have been the uncomfortable memories of previous summers that were making me anxious, but as the end of term arrived, I was more than apprehensive. Not only was I worried about being alone, but I was worried about leaving my flat and friends I had made at uni. I had finally managed to adjust to uni life, and going home would change all of that.

Yet, when I eventually made it home, I was amazed at how quickly I adjusted back into my old routines, and the movements and motions of my family and home. Admittedly, my body clock is still running on student times, and my Mum doesn’t quite understand why I no longer go to bed at 10:30. I have also struggled to adjust to the cold as I moved back up North to a badly insulated farm cottage and away from the warmth of my modern, 24 hour heated University flat.

Coming home has turned out to be great. I appreciate the time to work, and to play games with my little sister, as well as spending some quality time with my parents. Putting up the Christmas tree and taking my little sister to school has reminded me of all the little things that make my home feel like home.  I had been so focused on all the negative thoughts, and bad times that I had neglected to think of all the wonderful and happy memories.

I was so surprised by how normal living at home now seems to me, and although I do miss my flat, friends and lack of freedom, I am glad for some time with my family and childhood friends. I never thought, whilst suffering from clinical depression and anxiety I would ever be ok with long holidays, but going to and returning from Uni has taught me so much about myself, and how to deal with my illness. So to all of you going home after your first term at Uni embrace the opportunity to spend time with your family and friends, relax a little, and get as much free laundry done as possible!

Hope Butler

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