Homeless Homesickness

Elise writes about how she manages home sickness at university. 

- Elise Jackson

Before I came to university, I can only remember experiencing homesickness once. It was a week-long residential trip at an activities centre and I was 10 years old. So, getting to university and feeling that feeling again was not only a throwback, but extremely disconcerting.

My parents have always let me be independent. They not only allowed, but encouraged me to socialise, to travel, to have new experiences. I think this is why I never got homesick – I was raised to be self sufficient and to find comfort in meeting people. University, then, should have been a breeze.
Flash-forward to summer 2015. Life goes topsy-turvy. Long story short, we had a death in the family, my mum and step-dad moved out of my childhood home to somewhere half-way across the country, I got in to the University of Nottingham and my friends got in to places all over the country. Within the space of a few months, my life was completely displaced.

As I mentioned, this shouldn’t really have been a problem for me. Aside from the grieving, everything else was well within my emotional capabilities and comfort zone. I love new places and new people! But I hadn’t taken one thing into account: I didn’t have a home anymore. The place I knew as home – the house, the bedroom, the walk into school – didn’t exist anymore. Someone else lived there now, and we knew no one in our new village miles away from a train station.

Homesickness is horrible. But when that option to go home and quell the sickness isn’t there anymore, it becomes something else entirely. Learning to manage that feeling was one of the hardest parts of coming to uni, and one of the achievements I’m most proud of.

So, how do you deal with homesickness when you don’t really have a home anymore? Step one, don’t say you don’t have a home. Instead, think of it like you have several new ones! You have where your parents live, where your friends live, and now, where you live with all these lovely new people. Count your bedrooms – what kid wouldn’t be psyched to learn that one day they would have 3 bedrooms to their name?

Step two, make it comfy. We all know uni halls can be gross and smelly and damp, but in my opinion, there’s nothing some good soft furnishings can’t fix. I got a thick old mattress topper for my uni/camping bed, with a fluffy duvet, blankets and several cushions. I strung up pictures, fairy lights, and put net curtains over my window to make it all feel a bit cosier. My room was (and remained to be in my new houses), the comfiest room of all. Not only will this make you feel more chill, it will make people want to be in your room for cuddles all the damn time, which is a great distraction.

Step three, make new memories. One of the things I did in first year which changed the game completely was have my friends to my new house in Norfolk. As soon as I did that, I went from feeling entirely isolated there to absolutely loving it. After a Christmas, a couple of summers and that wonderful mini-holiday with my friends, that new house has become more of a home for me than my old one had felt like for many years.

And lastly, let go. I once joked with a close friend before that I was over-attached to locations. He told me that I wasn’t attached to the places, I was just attached to the memories and the people I loved that populated them. He’s right – home isn’t a place, it’s people. Visiting friends at different unis showed me this – they’re in an alien city in some strange, draughty house but just being with people you love can make any grotty student haunt feel like home.

Build a home in the friends around you. They’ll be doing the same in you. Once I did that, the homesickness completely dissipated. Now, the idea of coming home means people. It means I wake up with my home; I have breakfast with my home; I go to lectures with my home. It also means that, no matter what, I can pick up the phone and hear home in the voice of any friend, any family member. Home is now something I carry with me, everywhere.

Hello! I'm Elise. I'm currently in my final year studying English Language and Literature at the University of Nottingham. My writings for Student Minds will range from pieces about depression and DPD to coping with loss, bereavement and change during your studies - all the while remaining mindful and getting the most out of university life. Thanks for reading!

Dealing with homesickness and loneliness: tips for year-abroad students

Jacob shares his experience as a student currently on a year abroad in France and his advice for dealing with homesickness and loneliness.

- Jacob Robinson

Before you go on a year abroad, you’re told plenty of advice: try to take it all in, say ‘yes’ to everything, and speak as much of the local language as possible. The list goes on.   

Much of this advice before I moved to Lyon in France for my year abroad faded into irrelevance as I was consumed by nerves and worries about the move. What was my accommodation going to be like? Would it be easy to make friends? Was I going to be able to cope with university academics in another language?  

Although many of these questions have fortunately been replaced by positive experiences, there are two things I didn’t quite expect to encounter: homesickness and loneliness. When I was not in Lyon, I studied at The University of Manchester, a city I grew to love and appreciate. Embarking on a year abroad is particularly challenging when you’ve become accustomed to one place, only to uproot everything and move. Adjusting to living away from home in a new location is hard enough, but having to do it again and re-adjust next September adds another layer of difficulty. One of the most important things is to acknowledge that you are completely within your right to feel homesick and unsettled. I’ve found it really helpful to avoid comparing my current experience to my life in Manchester. This has limited feelings of homesickness and instead allows me to appreciate that the two experiences will be inherently different.   

I have grown to learn that I instead cannot simply ‘replicate’ my life in Manchester in Lyon. Keeping similar routines and activities has allowed me to be more settled, even just having the same decorations as my last two rooms at university.    

Surrounding yourself with people from all walks of life can also be beneficial in helping with homesickness - being open with how you’re finding it can spark conversations and ultimately build stronger friendships too. Having friends who also come from your home country can help too - it’s surprising that not hearing your own language whilst out and about can be isolating. I will never take for granted the experience of being a home student in the UK again.  

I've become much better at using FaceTime, as keeping up with friends from home, university, and my year abroad can be challenging. It's comforting to know that even though I don't see them as often as I used to, many of my friends are still there for me. Scheduling calls can help you stay in touch with those who matter a lot to you.  

Another challenge I’ve found with doing a year abroad is overcoming loneliness and feelings of isolation. Fortunately, there is a group of students who’ve also come from Manchester, as well as friends from all over the world, who have made the experience a lot easier. The temporary nature of a year abroad (or even just a semester for some) is undoubtedly a double-edged sword. While you want to make the most of everything, it’s impossible to do it all. Spending an evening in my flat instead of going out with friends, or dedicating a weekend day to relaxing and catching up on work - though necessary - sometimes leaves me feeling like I’m not fully maximising the experience I could be having. The reality is, we’re only human. Going out every night, constantly staying busy, and completely neglecting university work would ultimately have negative consequences in the long run. It can be hard not to compare yourself to others who are on a year abroad, whether they’re in different cities, countries, or even the same place as you. 

While social media allows us to stay updated on the experiences of lots of people, it often serves as a highlights reel—especially for something like a year abroad. I frequently remind friends who respond to my Instagram stories about day trips, scenic viewpoints, or fun activities that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Many people who’ve done a year abroad focus on sharing the positive moments, often leaving out the less glamorous side of the experience. My grades from the university here don’t directly transfer to my final transcript; instead, all I need to do is pass. 

This has been incredibly helpful in reducing the pressure to excel academically, allowing me to focus on making the most of the experience. However, the free time this arrangement inevitably gives me has been a challenge as someone who thrives on staying busy. That said, it’s been a valuable learning experience. My second year in Manchester was intense—I was constantly juggling my course, societies, and socialising with friends. Being abroad, though, has forced me to slow down, providing a much-needed break. It’s been a steep learning curve but one I can say has been incredibly beneficial for my personal development.  

Remember that your home university is there for you throughout your year abroad and the reason you pay a percentage of fees that year is for continued access to services (including mental health support). The Foreign and Commonwealth Office's Travel Aware Campaign has specific advice on mental wellbeing and living abroad too.

Need support? Don't forget to check out the Student Space.

I’m a third-year History and French student at The University of Manchester but am currently studying in Lyon in France as part of my year abroad. I'm passionate about making sure more students are aware of the support they have access to and destigmatising the challenges mental health can pose whilst in education.  

Six tips to avoid homesickness when you first start University

Sian offers six tips for any new student moving away from home to start their life at university

-Sian O'Brien

You have a place at university. Congratulations! No doubt you are very excited and nervous to start your adventure as an ‘almost adult’. With university comes freedom, which is great, no more having to eat your mums’ cooking, that is mediocre at best, and no more nagging! However, believe it or not, you will probably miss home.

Homesickness is common in students. Here I am going to tell you how I found being at uni for the first time and six tips to help reduce homesickness: 

•Pack things from your room at home; make your room at uni feel more like home. Summer is over and the car is so full you are sure it won’t start. It wouldn’t have been a genuine first time student experience if you hadn’t had to pull everything out several times to check you packed your toothbrush, phone charger, and that one pair of socks you are convinced are lucky. Once you are sure everything’s there, you are all set to go! But, don’t forget to bring those special items from home. So if that means bringing cushions, bunting or posters you should try to replicate everything you love about your room, at university. 

•Instead of unpacking straight away, go and explore. After arriving at halls, you may feel very nervous (I did), mainly because you knew that very soon you would be alone. Leave the unpacking for later when you’re by yourself; it will stop you over thinking! You could instead find the nearest shop, and work out how long it takes to get to uni with your parents.

•Say goodbye properly. You have explored the city, and know it takes exactly 12 and a half minutes to get to uni, but now your parents have said they want to go home. I know it is embarrassing, but give your mum and dad a hug. Trust me you’ll need it, because as soon as you see the car pull away there is a high chance you will cry. I did and so did some of my flatmates, but if you do, don’t worry- they are only a phone call away.

•MAKE FRIENDS! Your parents have gone, and you have said ‘hi’ very nervously to someone down the corridor. It’s awkward meeting people for the first time, but honestly, everyone’s friendly, so make lots of friends. You may never talk to some of them again, but by making friends, you will soon find the right group of people for you! Don’t worry if you don’t fit in straight away. You will be surprised how diverse the student population is, there will always be someone for you! You’ll soon find you aren’t the only one who has a weird obsession over the lead singer of that band, you were convinced no one has ever heard of.

•Get involved with uni life! If that means joining a club or going out and meeting people in the Students Union, getting involved can distract you from feeling homesick. On the first day I arrived at uni, I went to a taster session for rugby. I loved it, and the girls were so nice and supportive! So, if you are really into football, films, or Indy bands, there will be a club or society for you, filled with likeminded people. 

•Finally, regularly contact your parents and friends. I ring my parents every Sunday and regularly call my friends. This is a great way to keep up to date with family affairs, gossip, and make sure that your beloved pet goldfish ‘bubbles’ hasn’t  been eaten by the cat. Whatever your relationship is with your parents, siblings, and friends, it is important to let them know how you are doing even if it’s just a short 5-minute conversation or a quick text, it helps to keep your homesickness away.

Getting ready to go to uni? Find out more tips about getting started with our Starting University guide.

Coping with Loneliness at University

Lottie gives her top tips for those struggling with feelings of loneliness or homesickness during their studies.

- Lottie Thomas

Everyone becomes lonely or homesick at uni at least once, and most try to struggle through it because they think they are the only one. Coming back from a long break like Christmas can make returning to uni tough. So, here are my top tips for coping with those feelings of homesickness:

Start the day and take it one day at a time

When you wake up in the morning it can sometimes seem impossible to get out of bed and face the world, but the best thing you can do is just start the day. I used to find setting an alarm (not too early!) would really help me to do this. Getting up and jumping in the shower freshens up your mindset and washes away that groggy sleepy feeling. Teaching yourself to not think too far ahead and just focus on the day in hand is an important part of keeping those feelings at bay.

Treat yourself

Working yourself into the ground can make you feel even worse, so take time out of your studies to do something you really enjoy. Watch a film, bake a cake or just chill out and listen to some music. It’s really important to take the pressure off and allow yourself some time to yourself, or with friends. You deserve a reward for persevering when times are tough!

  
Tell people close to you

An important factor for me was telling my housemates how I was feeling. Although not everyone will feel comfortable doing this, it’s a good idea to tell someone just so you don’t feel like you’re suffering in silence. Once I told my housemates, they even shared the occasions that they struggled, and it made me feel less lonely. Just knowing that it’s on their radar is comforting, as you don’t have to explain why you might be quiet sometimes, and they might be able to help.

Allow yourself a bit of home

Buy your favourite food you only get at home or bring photographs to put up in your room. Don’t completely disconnect from home – it’s still where you spent most of your time before coming to uni. Get someone from home to send you something occasionally; my grandparents used to send me chocolate in the post sometimes which always put a smile on my face because I knew they were thinking about me.

Exercise/get outside

It is well known that exercise releases that concoction of endorphins or ‘happy hormones’, but sometimes a hard workout isn’t for everyone. I recommend getting outdoors in the fresh air and reminding yourself that the world holds so many possibilities. There’s adventure out there for everyone – you just have to find it.

Nothing lasts forever

It may not feel like it at the time but these feelings won’t last forever. Things are constantly changing, and as long as you keep this in mind you’ll be fine. If you find these feelings are continuing for long periods of time, and especially if you think they are affecting your studies, don’t hesitate to contact the support services at your university. It may be something else that’s more serious than homesickness, so letting someone know is very important. Universities know that many of their students are living away from home for the first time and are equipped to deal with people struggling.

#FresherPressure: An Open Letter to the Fresher

Evie shares her advice on how to cope with the emotional pressures of being a fresher.

- Evie

University marks the transition between adolescence and adulthood. It’s a period of huge change – moving away from home, leaving friends and family, learning to clean, cook and manage money for the first time. Accompanying this upheaval is an enormous amount of pressure. Specifically, pressure for university to be the ‘best time of your life’. This develops into further pressure to:

• Flood your social media with pictures and videos of you having a great time (further exacerbated by your home friends doing exactly the same thing). 
• Form stronger friendships than the ones you have back home. 
• Be popular if that’s something you weren’t at school. 
• Maintain your popularity, even if that’s exactly who you were at school. 
• Drink or to do drugs just to fit in. 

This often results in internal conflict, whereby you are caught between your excitement (fuelled by the anecdotes and expectations of others) and your fear (fuelled by the major life transition you are about to begin). There’s no shame in admitting that these pressures can become overwhelming. Of course, there are lots of positives that come with beginning university, and it will most likely provide you with many of your best memories. However, it’s okay to take off those rose-tinted glasses from time to time and admit that, at points, you will likely feel down and anxious. What you’re about to do is nerve-wracking. 

You may also feel homesick. It is hard to put into words exactly what homesickness feels like as it’s such a unique emotion. It might hit you straight away, it might hit you once the novelty of Freshers has worn off, or if you’re lucky, it might not hit you at all. However, when you get that sickness feeling that can’t be explained by a hangover, that’s homesickness! 

There’s also often a big pressure to drink or go to parties/clubs. I think it is important to remember that drinking doesn’t have to be your thing. You do you. If you don’t want to, it is okay to say no. Even if that’s your flatmates’ thing, it is still okay to say no. There’s almost 8 billion people in the world and probably a good few thousand in your university. It’s normal for your five flatmates to have different interests to you. Don’t give up. Speak with people in other flats, people on your course or people in societies that interest you. You’ll find your people. 

‘You do you’ doesn’t just apply to those who go against the social norm – you shouldn’t feel guilty for saying no, but you also should not feel guilty for drinking and having fun. Of course, it is important to be yourself, but don’t be hard on yourself if you adapt your personality to fit in. This isn’t said enough – but it is normal and okay to adapt if that’s what you want to do. I think we’d be lying if we said that we hadn’t adapted our personality to accommodate the setting or the company we were in; it’s an intrinsic part of being human. A major part of the university experience is working out who you are. There’s a stigma that you have to be the same person you’ve been your whole life or that you have to maintain one social role. You don’t. Change is not always a bad thing. Be who you want to be. 

Everyone’s university experience will be different. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all guide to having the best time. However, there are some things that may maximise your enjoyment and help combat homesickness. 

• Talk to others. I can almost guarantee that someone else will be feeling exactly the same as you are. They’re just waiting for someone else to say it so they don’t feel so alone. Be that ‘someone else’. 
• Keep in contact with your family and friends back home. There’s more to you than what university you go to. You have a home, family and friends, a pre-existing support network. Utilise them. 
• Distraction is key. When struck with anxiety or sadness, distract yourself. Make plans. Join societies. Go to the gym. 
• BUT … also have that takeaway. Have that cry. Escape home for the weekend if you need to. Spend that day lying in bed doing nothing but watching Netflix and embracing the hangover-induced anxiety. There’s no ‘right’ way to do uni. Do whatever is best for your mental health. The Instagram posts and drunk stories definitely play a part, but it’s also about personal growth and self-care. Importantly, it’s about remembering that, yes, this very well may be the best experience of your life, but equally, you are defined by more than just your uni experience. It’ll be overwhelming at times. But you’ve got this.

For more support, see Student Space or Transition into University.

I'm Evie, a recent Psychology graduate working in the field of mental health. I want to share the advice I wish I had received as a fresher. My main message to everyone is to not be afraid to be you, no matter who 'you' are.

Effects of Homesickness and University Challenges on the mental health of students

Ronald talks about the challenges faced by freshers at university and to overcome them.

- Ronald Mccarthy

University Image in the minds of Students and Reality:

Whenever we talk about university life in the earlier stages of academics like secondary level/O Levels or higher secondary/A level, it appears very alluring to young people. But when it comes to actually being a part of university, all the charms and attractions wipe away suddenly and students get worried. This tensed and stressed situation leads to unstable mental health most of the times. There are various reasons for this phenomenon. The most contributing factor is homesickness along with the fear of some other challenges faced in university.

Although the whole university life is challenging, freshmen year is particularly difficult. In the Middle East, students keep listening from their elders that education after higher secondary level is so simple and comfortable. But when a recently graduated student from college enters into the realm of higher education, they are startled by the environment of university.

Challenges

Hours and Diet:

In the fields of medical and engineering, a typical University day totals to about 8 hours, which is more than school and college hours. It has a marked impact on a student’s mind. Despite of the utter efforts of university welfare services, the quality of food is always less than the quality of food at home. Many students suffer from stomach diseases due to bad quality food. And with reference to a Latin saying “A sound mind in a sound body” an unhealthy person can’t be healthy mentally. So maintaining physical health in university is one of the biggest challenges for students.

Home Sickness:

The actual meaning of the saying “East or West, Home is the best” is revealed when you are far away from home. There are two possible things that can happen to students in the early stages of university. Either they get habitual with the environment or they struggle, which is very damaging for their mental comfort. Getting rid of this home sickness syndrome is very difficult for some people. 

Senior’s Behavior:

  Along with the disconnectedness from home, another distressful thing which the newcomers in university experience is the behavior of seniors. There is a norm of bullying in most of the universities of Europe and Asia. Freshmen are very scared of being bullied in the early days of university. Some students know how to tackle the seniors but some take it personally and get worried which causes a very deep impact on their mental health.

How to cope with these challenges:

Some of the problems discussed above only reside for one year, such as; the fear of bullying and homesickness. But some issues remain permanently in the whole university life. The challenges of first year in university can be tackled by educating the students about the issues at a parental level as well as administration level. Such kinds of issues aren’t addressed at administration level mostly, so it’s the responsibility of parents to explain this to their children. There is a strong need of telling them that bullying isn’t official and that they can always inform the authorities.

Long term issues can be resolved by proper management of budget and time in university. Physical health can be maintained by eating a healthy diet, fresh fruits and vegetables etc. Avoiding fast foods is also mandatory to remain healthy. When you’ll be physically healthy, your mind will be healthy and your academic situation will be better as well. So the best way to be mentally and educationally efficient is to be healthy. 

For more information on finding support at university, click here.

For more information on starting university, click here.

How to cope with homesickness on your Year Abroad

- Trisha Mukerjee

Being away from home does seem exciting, but once you cross the bridge, you realise what home really means to you. In the first year of living abroad, homesickness is quite natural for students. It's important to remember that this is an important part of growing up and becoming independent.  This feeling of missing home needs to be acknowledged in a constructive way and then work towards curbing and turning it into a strength rather than a reason to give up.

While at the time of your lowest, moving back home might seem tempting and it would require some sort of patience to keep a hold on to this feeling. Here are a few ways to help with the feeling of homesickness.

1. Take the initiative to make new friends: When you are in a different country, you should make sure that you take the initiative to make new friends. Even if you feel left out, and find it quite difficult to make friends, it's worth it - friends are so important! No matter how difficult is it, it's worth making the effort and taking the first step.

You could do any of the following:

• Invite people over or go out with your classmates; make an effort to introduce yourself,


• Mix in a diverse crowd! Going abroad is an opportunity to meet people you would never have met back home - so embrace it and don't let any first impressions stop you from trying to get to know someone.


• Don't worry if you are naturally an introvert or a shy person - people will still want to be friends with you! People generally gel on well with shy and introvert people; they are often viewed as sympathetic and a termed as good listeners.


• Lastly, remember that friendships grow gradually. Don't force yourself on someone – let them take time to get to know you.

2. Try to enjoy your own company: At certain times, it really doesn’t matter if you have friends around you or not. Being abroad is also a chance to learn to enjoy your own company, and look after your wellbeing. One of the best ways to avoid being home sick is to be busy. Having a lot on your plate, helps you not to think too much about what you are missing at home You could try doing the following things to keep yourself busy and occupied:

1. Sports, physical exercise, yoga, dance etc.


2. Reading, or trying out creative hobbies like photography, writing, drawing etc.


3. Pick up part time work that you like – this is also another way you could meet new people


4. Explore your surroundings: When you have nothing better to do, go around the campus, explore every inch of it. Travel around! If you have the money you could even buy a bike, and cycle around.


5. You could even try some volunteering work. If you're at a university abroad, some campuses have a community development centre, where volunteering opportunities are advertised. Volunteering is a worthwhile activity, but it's also good for your mental health.

3. Stay connected to your family and friends: Never ever lose touch with your family and friends from home. They're a valuable source of support and can really boost your mood if you're down. Whenever you miss them, just Skype or call them. In this digital world, communication has become incredibly easy across international borders.

4. If things are getting really bad, get support. Contact your university support services back at home, and if you're at a university abroad, visit the counselling services. Talk to them, and don’t lose hope. Often, you'll be able to get the support you need without having to come back home, but equally don't feel like you're necessarily making a mistake or 'giving up' by going back - the most important thing is to make sure that you're getting the support you need so that things don't get worse.

Cultivate a social life, keep yourself busy, enjoy course work and always remember – your home is always there for you. Now is the time to grow and spread your wings!

Author Bio: Trisha is a professional writer and adviser on education and careers. She is an ardent reader, a traveller and a passionate photographer. She wants to explore the world and write about whatever comes across her way.

Freshers' Week at the University of Nottingham - 4 (Homesickness)

- Anna-Ruth Gray, Nottingham Student Minds

26th September

Feeling Homesick?

Getting towards to end of freshers week means that many of you will now feel rather homesick. If this has been your first time leaving home and being independent then missing your friends, family and pets is perfectly normal and to be expected. Being somewhere new with people you don't know very well can be difficult, especially when you know that you have 3 years ahead. It can seem overwhelming at first. But, you will soon settle in and if you're having some difficulties and want help, here are a few little tips.

1. Be true to yourself!Many articles I've read about freshers suggest that you force yourself to go clubbing as that's where everyone meets and you have to make friends e.c.t. My opinion is (as cheesy as it sounds) is that you should be true to yourself! If you love clubbing and the fresher's nights then of course do them and have a fantastic time but, maybe try to pace yourself. If you aren't a clubber try some of the alternative events that really appeal to you or even stay in your hall and go to the common room and then you may meet others who didn't fancy a night out either. If you force yourself to go clubbing if that's not you then the chances are you won't make friends with people who you really click with. Nottingham has so many alternative events on offer there is bound to be something for you!


2. Share how you feel.I'm not necessarily talking about a big emotional talk with people that you've just met, but, if you mention your homesickness to a new friend the likelihood is they feel the same and at least then you will feel reassured that it's not just you. Although everyone may look as if they are having the time of their lives with no worries, it's unlikely that they feel as carefree as they look. If you don't feel comfortable talking to new friend, then ring a loved one. Have a bit of a chat or cry to your mum or your best friend down the phone, even better if they've been to uni themselves, they will completely understand. Failing that, if you feel alone call the universities listening service Nightline on 01159514985 and someone will be there to listen and reassure. Don't sit and worry, do call them they'd be happy to help!


3. Do something you enjoy.Cheer yourself up with something you enjoy, it might not get rid of the homesickness completely but, it may help lighten your mood a little. Go for a run, do some yoga, dance, sing, watch something funny. You could even go exploring and maybe invite a new friend to join you. There is so much to do in Nottingham you could go to Woolaton park, visit the castle or just go and treat yourself to some new shoes (if your loan can stretch to it). The city centre always has a lot to offer.


4. Look after yourself.You've probably heard this a million times but, it cannot be expressed enough that you need to look after yourself! If you start to feel really ill and exhausted that will only make feeling homesick more pronounced. You should really try to:
   
   - Get some sleep! Even if you have to have a nap in the day. Lack of sleep can make you ill very quickly and you'll wish you had when fresher's flu creeps up on you.
   
   - Eat well, try not to just live off the free pizza from freshers fair. Get some fruit and veg in you, maybe even take some vitamins as an extra illness prevention.
   
   - Keep Active, although when you feel low you might just want to hide in your room, try and go for a little walk/run/cycle and get some fresh air and exercise.

If you're still feeling homesick after using some of these tips, don't worry it will soon pass. Freshers week is not a typical uni week and everything will soon settle down. It might be that your friends will be mainly course people or society people rather than the ones you're living with. So, persevere and get out there and you'll soon find people that make uni feel like home. Then you'll be having the most amazing time! If you're worried or feeling alone contact student minds or come along to one of our events and you'll always have someone friendly to help you and point you in the right direction. :)

Studying with Depression: Knowing the help you can recieve at University

It's important to know what help is available to you at university to get the best experience during your studies, James gives his advice on how to find out about these helpful resources.

- James Crick 

So, you’ve just got into your dream university and can’t wait to start or you got into a university and you have to start soon. Whether you’ve got the university of your dreams (I hope you have) or not, you will be thinking about what support there is available to you. Well, you have come to the right place. I am going to take you through your options. 

Right. Let’s begin with this little nugget of a fact – all Universities within the UK have to provide a certain amount of student services. These services will definitely vary as to where you go, the bigger universities usually (not always) have bigger budgets for this kind of thing. 

Some of the things I’ve noticed they help with are:

1. Funding advice – DSA
2. Mental health      
3. Other disabilities 
4. Homesickness
5. Dyslexia 
6. Bullying (hopefully you won’t need that)
7. Time off University for health 
8. Bereavement 
9. Counselling
10. Extensions and extenuating circumstances

And I’m sure there are many other things they do! But do enquire about this when you start. 

On my first point I mentioned DSA which means Disabled Student Allowance- so what is this lovely little thing, well as it stands it is a service provided by Student Finance England which is a great help if you’ve got a disability. They do a long assessment on you and determine what they think would be of benefit to you, some examples include: a Dictaphone, note taking software, counselling, laptop stands, sometimes even laptops themselves.

Now to get into homesickness. If you’re like me then you’re very close to your family, or even if you’re not close and they drive you insane but a family is a family so you love them to bits, it may be very hard saying goodbye and moving to a different town. This affected me quite a bit and I’ve got some advice for you:

1. Keep contact with them.
2. Go home when you can.
3. Tell your friends if you’re feeling homesick. 
4. Talk to student advice or your lecturers.
5. FaceTime and Skype are amazing tools! Use them! Or even regular phone calls.
6. Remember – the likelihood is your next door neighbour is feeling the same, so you can talk to him/her if you need too!

So, you’ve got bogged down with all those massive assignments and you have a slight panic about your work or you’re in exam week and sadly your depression starts to not make things any easier. Remember – ask for help! 

There are two words that may help you if you need it urgently (only urgently as it doesn’t make the problems go away)

Extension – will be granted if they can see a valid reason for you needing more time such as a bereavement. This will usually be a period of two weeks extra time. 

Extenuating Circumstances – If something really, really, really bad is happening to you then you can apply for this and it means you do not take part in the assessment and you fail that part of it. Usually if you just fail when you resit you’re capped at a third but if you have extenuating circumstances – there is no cap so you can resit with the full marks in August time!

For more information on finding support at university, click here.
For more information on starting university and dealing with mental health issues at this time, click here.

Settling Into University Part Two: How To Overcome Homesickness

According to NUS, around half of students experience homesickness, which means that you’re very much not alone. Here are some ideas to help you settle in and enjoy the university experience…

• Listen to music – moving into my own room at university for the first time, I found that it look me a while to get used to the silence (probably something to do with the family of six and boisterous puppy I was used to back home!) Music was always the best way to fill the silence and you’d very rarely enter my room without something on in the background.

• Wear cozy clothes – this may sound crazy, but a pair of slippers and a big thick jumper really can make you feel better! I’ve occasionally been known to wear two jumpers at once, but sometimes one just isn’t enough and being toasty warm always seems to cheer me up :)

• Do something familiar – read a favourite book or re-watch an old TV series.

• Make yourself a hot drink in your favourite mug. Happiness guaranteed.

• Look after yourself – eat good food, get lots of sleep and wander outside to get some fresh air every now and again!

• Keep busy – as much as possible, fill your time with plenty of different activities and take the opportunity to try new things. The more you spend time around other people, the less you are able to dwell on your thoughts, and chances are that the simple act of going out and doing things will help you feel more positive.

• Join a club or society – learn something new, meet a different group of people and make a regular commitment to doing something you enjoy.

• Spend some time turning your room into a cozy space that you’ll enjoy spending time in. Here are a few ideas…
  
  
  
  • Hang up posters. These are a great way to make your room feel your own and inject a bit of personality. I usually had some combination of Mr Men, Paddington Bear and Winnie-the-Pooh – not sure what that says about me?
  
  
  • Fairy lights make a room feel so snug! (Ok, so this could be a girl thing). I spent four years being envious of my best friend’s fairy lights and finally got round to asking for some last Christmas - no regrets!
  
  
  • Blankets & cushions are a must, especially in winter.
  
  
  • Put up lots and lots of photos!

So look after yourself, keep busy and have fun turning your new room into a haven of blankets and cushions :) If you have any questions or would like to share some tips of your own, please do comment below or drop me an email at rosanna@studentminds.org.uk.

Next up: managing your workload.

Managing Your Mental Health Abroad

Emily shares experiences, advice and tips on looking after your mental health whilst abroad.

- Emily Maybanks

Whether it’s going on a year or a semester abroad as part of your degree course, or moving abroad after graduating from University, there are several things that can impact on your mental health whilst abroad. There are also things that you can do to maintain and manage your mental health whilst you are abroad. 

I recently moved abroad to the very cold city of Hohhot in China’s Inner Mongolia to take up a position as an English Teacher with Education First (EF). Since moving here, I have experienced challenges for my mental health, but I have also started to learn some strategies to cope with tougher days. 

Jet Lag 

Before moving to Hohhot, jet lag was something I had never experienced. In the first few days, I was so jet lagged and it seriously impacted on my mental health because my sleeping pattern had been completely thrown off course and I was feeling emotional and drained every day, whilst also trying to take in a new environment and lots of information at work. By the end of my first week, I was so exhausted and I was ill. What I took away from this was that I should have asked for more time to rest after the long journey. 

Culture Shock and Homesickness

Whether you move to somewhere in Europe, America or somewhere like Asia, culture shock is a thing! (The biggest culture shock I had in my first few hours in China was the toilet being a hole in the floor). With culture shock, it’s important to give yourself time to become acclimatised with your new country’s culture and way of life. Sometimes, culture shock can make you feel very homesick – which is a normal part of moving abroad – but you can always find some things which are very similar to back home. Also, pack things like home comforts in your luggage. I really wish that I’d packed some Crème Eggs… 

Try New Things and Explore

One way to maintain mental health and alleviate homesickness (which is completely natural and normal), is to get out and try new things in your new city. Go to a restaurant and eat some new food, or just go for a walk around. You’ll find that there’s so much to see and do. 

Reward Yourself 

Moving abroad is a big deal for anyone. Moving abroad with a mental health difficulty is an even bigger deal! Things which seem quite simple and normal back home such as going to the supermarket or getting a taxi are much more difficult and anxiety-inducing when you’re in a new place. Telling yourself stuff like “good job” when you do something difficult is important! 

Maintain Contact with Family and Friends at Home 

Moving abroad means leaving behind lots of people you love dearly. However, nowadays, social media, phones and apps like Skype and FaceTime make it a lot easier to keep in touch with your friends and family back at home. It is vital to maintain your support network at home so you can speak to them when you need to. Personally, I think I speak to my Mum more now I’ve moved to China that I did when I was living at home. 

Make New Friends 

This might seem like a contrast to my previous point, but meeting new people and making friends in your new country is equally, if not more, important that keeping in touch with friends and family at home. If you’re studying abroad, try joining a society or a club. When I studied abroad in Geneva for my year abroad, I joined a creative writing club which was a good way to meet people with the same interest as me. In China, it has been easier to make new friends as I work with lots of people. However, I do know that it is not always easy to make new friends when you move abroad. As long as you try, that’s what counts! 

Keep Up with Hobbies or Try Doing Something New

One of my passions is writing and I’ve been able to write a lot since arriving in China which has helped me by doing something I love, as well as given me something to talk about to my new colleagues and friends. Moving abroad is also a great opportunity to take up something new. Try learning a new language, taking up a sport – anything! Having a hobby and something you enjoy is important in maintaining mental health and alleviating loneliness and isolation abroad. Use your new surroundings and city as a chance to get creative – maybe start a journal or a blog (this is also a great way to keep in touch with friends and family at home). 

There is No Shame in Asking for Help

This is something I have certainly learnt in the few weeks that I have been in China – that it is okay and there is certainly no shame in reaching out for help and support. I count myself incredibly fortunate that I have the most supportive group of colleagues and very understanding managers and there have already been a few times where I’ve had to ask for support – emotional, physical and even financial. It might feel embarrassing and hard to do, but you may be surprised just who might be able to completely empathise with how you feel and will support you. 

To sum up, moving abroad can affect your mental health in so many ways. It’s important to find strategies to enable you to cope, as well as to develop and maintain a strong support network. Most importantly, have as much fun as possible! 

For more information, advice and resources on looking after your wellbeing during your year abroad, click here. 

My name is Emily (Em). Last summer, I graduated from Swansea University with my BA degree in Modern Languages, Translation & Interpreting; I was also passionate about and dedicated to Swansea Student Media and the University students’ newspaper – Waterfront. At the beginning of 2019, I moved to Hohhot in Inner Mongolia in China to work as an English Teacher with Education First (EF). I blog for Student Minds because I experienced mental health issues as a student throughout my time at University and I also experience mental health difficulties now as a graduate; as well as other health issues, and I support friends who also have mental health difficulties. I am a passionate writer and writing has been important in my mental health experiences – both in helping me to explore and to cope with my own mental health and experiences, as well as sharing my story in order to help and inspire others.

It’s a big world out there: the untold truths of being an international student in UK and how to navigate some of the challenges

Roberta shares the truths and struggles of being an international student living in the UK, giving some useful tips on how to manage this new experience.

- Roberta Gaeta

Moving to this country to study is clearly a popular choice for many students from abroad.  When looking at what the UK could offer me, the high-quality courses and the multiculturalism were the main factors that led me to leave my country, Italy,  to study in London. Embarking on a new journey is always exciting, as you get to experience a new culture, improve the language and make new friends. England is indeed known for being one of the greatest melting pots in the world, with its diverse cultures and the possibility of meeting people from around the world. 

However, for the students themselves, moving away from home, and becoming an ‘international student’ is not always all fun and games. It can bring many challenges along the way that can affect your mental health. Having to juggle between assignments, work and social life, on top of taking care of my own house, was definitely a challenge for me, as I was experiencing for the first time what being an adult meant. Although starting a new chapter of your life in a different place might be invigorating, doing it all by yourself can be tough and being in an unfamiliar environment miles and miles from the safe space of home can be intimidating when you don’t know anyone and everything is new. 

You’re trying to understand the country, its different culture and how to fit in. Most prominently, for some, is the homesickness that comes with being away from your family and loved ones. You might see yourself experiencing a sense of alienation and loneliness and feeling like you don’t belong here. You might find yourself juggling between assignments and part-time jobs, saving up every single penny and cutting down on social activities, trying to deal with the financial pressure that comes from the cost of living crisis affecting Britain and having to support yourself, making it hard to focus on education and friends.  We live in a world that is rapidly changing and we are faced with greater responsibilities than our previous generations, having to deal with more stress and anxiety, lower pay and job insecurity, higher expectations and a competitive work environment where failure is not an option.

In this stage of our life, the support of our family and close friends becomes critical and not having them around can be challenging.  Being an international student can be hard and you might feel overwhelmed, but you don’t have to go through this change alone. Having the support of my family and close friends and being able to open up to them really helped me overcome my struggles and it taught me there is nothing wrong with being vulnerable and asking for help. It’s important to recognise the tricky situations you might be facing and acknowledge how best to overcome those challenges.

Here are some steps that from my experience might help you to settle in: 

• Get involved in activities. Joining the gym is what helped me the most mentally, but even going for a walk with a friend for some fresh air can help immensely! The easiest and most fun way to make new friends and beat homesickness is to go out and explore the city and what it has to offer. The UK is known for its music, sport and food so the options are endless.  Depending on where in the UK you move to, there will be lots of versatile, vibrant, and varied things on offer! Make the most of your university networks to explore what’s on offer. 
• Do things that bring you happiness and fulfilment. Take up that hobby you had left behind (or take up a totally new one!) and use it as a way to express yourself and reconnect with your passions. It will boost your mood and help you when you’re feeling stressed or burned out. I personally love to paint or play cards with my roommates as it’s something I used to do back home with my friends.
• Talk to people you trust. When you’re feeling down, to avoid isolating yourself, try to surround yourself with people that make you feel seen and heard. Don’t be scared to open up or ask for help. If you realise you’re struggling, there are resources and experts you can consult that will help along the journey. Get in touch with your University student support teams as a useful flag to finding the best next steps.

But most importantly, be kind to yourself. It takes time to settle in, be patient and believe in yourself.

Read more tips on studying abroad on the Student Minds website.

I'm Roberta, an international student who moved to London over a year ago to study for a master's degree. When I first arrived, everything felt exciting but I soon realised I was about to face many challenges along the way. I want my story to show other students that, although it can be tough, it does get better.

Why It's OK To Not Go Clubbing At Uni

Worrying about the pressure to go out at uni? You should just focus on doing what you enjoy, says Ruby.

- Ruby Ellis

We know all too well that university brings with it a lot of pressures, such as homesickness, independent learning, and of course a sudden increase in workload. But there was one that I wasn’t really expecting and the one that hit me the hardest: the pressure to go out.

Having struggled with anxiety in the past, clubs are one place that I find it difficult to cope. One of my symptoms before a panic attack is that my senses get really heightened. Loud music, flashing lights and being pressed up against random strangers can make it an intense and frightening experience that for me is sure to set off feelings of nausea and hyperventilation. The answer to this seems obvious: why don’t you just not go clubbing? And why do I still find myself going out every so often, knowing I will hate it and usually ending up walking back in the dark alone because I panicked in the club and had to run out as fast as I could?

I don’t mind drinking. In fact, I really enjoy a glass of wine after a long day. But excessive drinking, the feeling of not being in control and of course the hangover the next day is not my idea of fun. Yet drinking and going out is so deeply ingrained into university culture I felt like I had to force myself to go out. Freshers’ week was awful for me. I started off almost enjoying myself, but was so physically and mentally exhausted by the end of each night from trying to control my symptoms that by the end of the week I couldn’t cope anymore and was an anxious, homesick mess. I felt like a failure because I hadn’t gone out and met loads of new people, which is what I was told Freshers’ was all about. I felt like I had missed the prime opportunity to make friends and I had essentially failed. I thought I was the odd one out and was never going to make any meaningful friendships. I also thought that everyone was going to think I was the boring girl who never went out.

Thankfully, the reality couldn’t be any further from that. Through my course and other activities, I have met loads of people who I don’t have to go out to bond with. Sure, some of them do enjoy clubbing but I’m under no obligation to join them, and we can hang out in other ways like film nights and going out for food instead. And even those who were out every night at Freshers’ have revealed to me that they don’t think clubbing is all that, and they were just faced with the same pressure to go out as I was. You may come across the odd person who thinks that you are “boring” if you don’t go out, but you must ask yourself, are they really all that fun if the only way they can enjoy themselves is by drinking themselves into oblivion?

Clubbing is a big part of university culture, there’s no denying it. But the great thing that I have learned is that it is not the only part of it. You will meet people from all over the country and even the world who have different interests, and there are so many opportunities available to you. Now is the time to learn a new skill, pick up a new sport or hobby and explore your interests. I started to learn yoga, which is now my go-to if I’m feeling low; it makes me feel amazing. Most importantly, you are here to get a degree, to learn and to grow as a person. If you are feeling isolated because you don’t enjoy going out, just know you are not alone and there are people who feel the exact same as you, but they are just not speaking out about it; but most importantly that does not make you any less of a person than anyone else. Embrace it and start filling your time with things you truly enjoy.

Applying to University with a Pre-Existing Mental Health Condition

Harriet shares personal experience and tips for applying to University with a pre-existing mental health condition. 

-Harriet

Among the inevitable worry about remembering to pack the right things, successfully finding your lecture rooms without getting lost (I am genuinely yet to master this well into my second year), and making long-lasting and genuine friends, starting university can raise a whole other number of concerns for applicants with pre-existing mental health conditions. 

It is fair to say that mental health issues among university students are fast reaching crisis point; The Guardian’s annual Student Experience Survey demonstrates that almost nine in ten (87%) of students find it difficult to cope with social or academic aspects of student life. However, as I will demonstrate throughout this article, most universities, alongside services most students are familiar with such as visiting a GP or local counselling schemes, can offer fantastic support for those struggling with mental health issues. 

Personally, I knew well before applying to university that I would struggle with living away from home and keeping up with the pressures of University life due to my long-term anxiety disorder. My advice to those in a similar predicament would be to make the university well aware of your needs as soon as possible, so that adjustments may be made to help you from the outset. 

The counselling service provided at most universities generally offers a high standard service for those who are finding that their difficulties are hard to manage and are affecting their studies. The aim is to aid you in developing skills or allowances so you can experience university life to its full potential. After a discussion with a counsellor about your needs, the service can provide sessions where you are able to choose the focus. Examples of problems people seek help with through the counselling service include anxiety and depression, eating disorders, issues with self-esteem, and homesickness. However, this list is certainly not exhaustive - the counsellors are happy to hear about anything that may be troubling you. I have also found that the Counselling Service at my university provides excellent signposting to external support networks for mental illness, such as self-help podcasts created by The Mental Health Foundation, support publications at Mind, and various helplines.

Equally, the support provided by the Disability Service at university cannot be overstated. I spent the whole of my first year completely unaware that this service supports mental health conditions (which legally classify as disabilities), and have since received so much support with my coping methods at University. For example, if the assessors deem it beneficial to you and your needs, provisions can be made to inform both your pastoral support team and academic tutors of your difficulties so that they may better support you, as well as the possibility of equipment to facilitate note-taking and time management, and the provision of mental health mentors to assist your personal needs.

It is also worth noting that many student accommodation facilities have a dedicated welfare team, intended to provide support and be a friendly face to any student that needs it. There is also Nightline, a widespread service, which provides a student-run listening service every night of term between 9pm and 7am. 

As I am well aware from experience, this may seem intimidating at first, but it is honestly not worth struggling unnecessarily when there is so much support available. Living away from home for the first time can be challenging at first, so be sure to make the most of the support available to you.

Hi, I’m Harriet! I’m a student at Durham University and I’m currently on my year abroad. I am passionate about removing the stigma attached to mental health issues, and truly place so much value in the power of the sharing of writing online to do so. 

How not to panic about your year abroad

Beth shares her tips on being prepared so that you can enjoy your time abroad rather than being worried about the uncertainties.

- Beth

Every time you mention your year abroad to your friends or family, the chances are you are given an abundance of advice on what to do when you get there. But what about what to do in the run-up to the big event? If you’re anything like me, the thought of your year abroad both excites and terrifies you. You can’t wait but you also don’t want it to come so soon. So, what’s the best way to prepare for it without letting nerves suck the fun out of it?

1. Give yourself the time and space to think about it

There’s no doubt that there are plenty of things to think about before you leave, such as money and accommodation, but it’s important to not let it swallow you whole. Keep it ticking away in the back of your mind but don’t allow yourself to dwell on it if you are feeling particularly stressed or worked up. Wait until you feel calmer. Chipping away at it over the span of several months will lessen the load when it actually comes to getting on the plane. 

On the other hand, it’s also extremely important to not let it intimidate you so much that you put off thinking about it until the very last minute! Get cracking as soon as possible.

2. Talk to people

People who have been in the same situation as you are your best resource. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice from anyone and everyone who could be even remotely useful to you. Friends, family and coursemates who have been abroad for a significant length of time will happily chat to you about it – everyone loves talking about themselves and their ‘gap yah’! Another great resource is the Foreign and Commonwealth’s website as well, particularly specific advice that applies to the country you are going to.

3. Visualise it

It can be easy to worry about your year abroad to the point of not being excited anymore but fight this feeling as much as you can! A great way to keep your morale up is to print off your favourite picture of the place you’re going to and stick it on your wall so that you’re always reminded of why you’re going. If you want to take this idea further, take some sticky notes and write all the reasons you chose to go and stick them next to the picture. When you get stressed or anxious, you can just look up at the picture and calm yourself down.

4. Research, research, research

There is no avoiding the stress that comes with having to find accommodation for a whole year in a short amount of time, but there are definitely ways to minimise it! If you know exactly where you’ll be based, such as the office or school you’ll be working in, then research all the different accommodation options that country has to offer you. As well as finding out how much a typical rent is, it is also worth researching whether that country has a specific student house sharing system in place. If you’re not sure, get in contact with your year abroad advisor at your university and ask them.

Furthermore, don’t just stop at researching accommodation. As soon as you find out your position, whether it be student, employee or language assistant, make sure you know the ins and outs of what will be expected of you so that you’re as prepared as possible.

5. Sort out the important stuff

Although it is not exactly exhilarating, nothing is more important than sorting out insurance for your year abroad. Once it is out of the way, you can forget about it and start thinking about the more exciting parts. A great help is that if you’re staying within the EU and Switzerland, you can get a free European Health Insurance Card. It can also be easy to forget to check the validity on your passport, so make sure you tick that off your checklist!

6. Start shopping!

As well as using retail therapy to de-stress, it may be necessary to shop for practical purposes (or at least that’s what you’ll tell your mum). If you’re going somewhere colder than home, go on a shopping spree. If you’re going somewhere warmer than home, go on a shopping spree. Either way, treat yo self!

7. Plan your visits home

Even if you don’t want to admit it, there will come a time when you will get homesick. If you already know this is likely to be you then start planning your visits home and how you will stay in touch. A great way to beat homesickness is to countdown the days until you can next see or talk to your family. Start off with Christmas, then Easter and then the summer holidays. That way you know you won’t be away from home for too long at a time and can focus on having the time of your life while you’re away.

I'm Beth and I am a second-year Comparative Literature and French student at the University of Kent. I'm about to embark on my year abroad in September and want to share some tips on how I'm preparing for it.