Loneliness at University: A Common, Shared Experience

William discusses the common experience of loneliness at university, emphasising that it’s okay to feel this way. He shares tips for coping and encourages students to connect, support each other, and create a more inclusive environment.

- William Sarenden

Loneliness is something we don’t talk about enough. Yet, it’s an experience many students face — perhaps more often than we realise. 

The transition to university is a massive life change. You’re stepping into an unfamiliar environment, meeting new people, and often leaving behind the support systems you’ve relied on. You might even find yourself feeling lonely despite making friends, excelling in your studies, or working toward your goals.  

If this resonates with you, know this: you’re not alone in these feelings, and it’s okay. Loneliness is a deeply human emotion, and acknowledging it is the first step toward overcoming it.  

The Impact of Loneliness

Loneliness is more than an emotional challenge and can affect many aspects of life, from academic focus to physical well-being and self-esteem. It often leads to a cycle of withdrawal, making it even harder to break free from. But loneliness isn’t a sign of weakness or failure; it’s a natural signal that something needs attention. Much like hunger tells us to eat, loneliness is a reminder to seek connection. What matters is how we respond to this feeling and the steps we take to address it.  

The Value of Community

During my time at university, I’ve learned that community is vastly understated. Whether it’s sharing a laugh during a chaotic group work session, exchanging smiles in a lecture, or starting a conversation at an event, small interactions can lead to the most meaningful connections. It's true though that building a sense of community requires effort. Imagine how different university life could feel if we all made an effort to include others — whether by saying hello, organizing a get-together, or simply asking, “Are you okay?” It’s not about having a vast social circle but about fostering genuine moments of connection.  

Practical Ways to Tackle Loneliness

If you’re struggling with loneliness, here are some strategies that have worked for me and others I know:  

• Reframe Your Perspective – Loneliness is a signal, not a flaw. Instead of seeing it as something negative, think of it as an opportunity for growth. This mindset shift can help you feel empowered to take action.  
• Seek Social Opportunities – Get involved in campus clubs or societies that align with your interests. I found that group activities have helped me slide into conversation more easily, allowing me to grow my circle and feel more comfortable starting conversations with new people.  
• Open Up – Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can make a significant difference. Vulnerability can deepen relationships and help others understand you better.  
• Start Small – Begin with small gestures, like greeting someone in your class or striking up a light conversation. Over time, these interactions can grow into meaningful connections. I know that some of my closest friends have come from these small acts.  
• Care for Yourself – When loneliness feels overwhelming, self-care can often be overlooked. Prioritise eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest—your physical well-being directly affects your mental health.  

A Shared Journey

Loneliness is a common experience that doesn’t define you but reminds you that you’re human. It might feel daunting at times, but with patience, persistence, and a little drive, it’s something you can overcome.  

If you feel isolated, remember that many of your peers are navigating similar challenges. None of us have it all figured out, and most of us have moments of uncertainty and longing for connection.  

University life is full of ups and downs, but it’s also brimming with opportunities for growth and connection. Let’s make an effort to create a more inclusive and supportive environment, together. Who knows? That awkward hello might lead to a friendship that lasts a lifetime.  

Take care of yourselves, and don’t hesitate to seek support if you need it.

 

Find out more about how you can overcome loneliness at the Student Space.

I am a final-year Philosophy undergraduate, and I wanted to write about loneliness because it’s something I’ve observed all too often during my time at university and something I’ve experienced myself. Reflecting on my journey, I realise how helpful it would have been to have some guidance along the way. My hope in sharing these thoughts is that it might help others feel a little less alone.

You belong with me

Abigail writes about building a sense of belonging when starting university. 

- Abigail Mathew

Ah, the beloved two words every young adult looks forward to upon leaving secondary education: Fresher's Week.

You must be familiar with the term – it is a word which is celebrated in the eyes of every prospective university student. However, I was one of the oddballs who was quite apprehensive about it. Not just about fresher’s week but about university life in general.  As soon as I stepped onto the campus of my university, I was greeted harshly with the academic term and weeks 1 – 5 blew past me like wind. 

 It was during my initial weeks at university that I noticed that something was amiss, not in the physical sense, but more so mentally. I had got into university, and I was studying for a degree that I chose. I should be happy right? Although my love for psychology was growing slowly, I struggled to find meaningful connections and a sense of belonging within the university environment, especially from individuals whom I shared a cultural identity with.  

My cohort was very diverse, there were quite a few of us from India especially South India where I am originally from. Yet – I failed to achieve a sense of belonging. Something about not finding ‘your people’ and feeling left out mixed with a sense that I was not getting the university experience made me quickly realise that as much as I loved my peers and friends I made, deep down I longed for an emotional connection and a sense of belonging to peers from the same ethnic origin as me.

A way in which I dealt with feelings of loneliness was to join different societies, I did not limit myself to just joining the cultural societies, and although this helped me to meet a few individuals during fresher’s week, I was not able to find long term friendship or belonging with them. During my second year when I joined the university’s badminton society, a sense of belonging was achieved. I quickly found my people within the team, and the club was very inclusive and welcoming. I connected with the team members, especially within the South Asians on the team. I was also able to strengthen my friendships with my South Asian friends I had previously made from my course by also inviting them to join the society with me. Thanks to badminton, a sense of belonging was found in like-minded people by hitting a shuttle around the court twice a week. 

Also, after joining badminton – I was able to strengthen and reconnect with South Asian friends and peers that I had made previously. Despite not having many friends who were from the same part of India as me I have found solace, friendship, and comfort in my South Asian friends. Thanks to them, I have been able to learn about the different traditions which are celebrated by different countries (and different names for chai!). 

To all of my wonderful friends - I am grateful to all of you for the immense love, support, kindness, and warmth you have shown to me and for welcoming me into your tribe. Thank you for always drinking my chai, and for making me chai during deadline season. 

Without my wonderful gang, I would not have survived two years of lectures, (especially statistics) – thank you for giving me a reason to look forward to Monday mornings.

To my friends who would tirelessly explain the assignments for the nth time, offer a shoulder to lean on in the library and who would always pick up the call/text during deadline season amidst the sea of panic – you guys are heroes. Thank you for the encouragement and motivation. 

Finally, to all of my South Asian friends and peers – thank you for giving me a sense of belonging, and a reason to smile during gloomy days. 

A piece of advice I would give to anyone feeling lonely as a university student is to try new things and go to different activities, I encourage you to go out of your comfort zone – you never know how it’ll change your perception of university life! 

This blog was written as part of the U-Belong campaign to combat loneliness and isolation at university. To find out more, visit their website. You can also find support at Student Space.

My name is Abigail Mathew and I am a psychology student from Keele University. I remember when I first joined the university and how daunting and scary the first few weeks felt. Especially adjusting to a new environment and making new friends.

Moving out to university was a big change for me as I had never left home and my family and friends before, and it felt lonely at times, especially during the winter months.

I joined the U- belong campaign because I want to help new students access support and raise awareness of loneliness among university students. 

Navigating loneliness and finding community

The Editorial Team are raising awareness during Loneliness Awareness Week and sharing their experiences and tips from university.

- Student Minds Blog Editorial Team

⭐ Leaving college/school to start university in September ⭐

by Taylor

This is perhaps the trickiest stage of university. I felt such nervousness when starting university about leaving behind everything that I'd known for years and joining a completely new environment where everything worked differently and I knew no one. The thing that brought me the most comfort though was that we all shared a lot in common and I wasn't alone in my worries. Making new friends isn't always easy but we've all got things in common... everyone's starting something new and everyone knows no one. It's all about getting out there, finding your people and making the best memories. 

⭐ Moving back home over the summer⭐

by Emily

This is a poignant one for me as, after 7 years in my University Town, I am moving back home... but not. My family moved away from my home town whilst I was studying at University so my new home isn't really a home I know. I'm a bit worried about feeling lonely, moving away from a network I have built over the last 7 years but I'm determined to keep in touch with as many people as possible and maintain strong connections with those that I love. It's important to remember that those who want to stick around will always find a way - it's sometimes a blessing in disguise to move out of the area and strengthen your real crowd from afar!

⭐ Graduating from university ⭐

by Madeleine

Graduating from university brought up a lot of mixed feelings for me. Alongside feelings of accomplishment and pride that I'd made it to the end, I also felt a little lost and scared about what the future held. All my friends were now scattered across the country, and I wasn't sure what I wanted to do next. What really helped me was acknowledging that everyone is at different stages and has different priorities. Despite conflicting schedules, I made an effort to stay in contact with close friends while applying to jobs in my family home. I also think it helps to take comfort from those with you in person, whether that be your parents and siblings, or childhood friends. Despite feeling lonely when I first moved out, I ended up making lovely friends where I worked in my first job after graduation, so if you're feeling a little lonely after graduation give it some time and put yourself out there, you'll find your people!

How are you getting involved during Loneliness Awareness Week? Share with the team - we'd love to hear from you!

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog this Loneliness Awareness Week.

Written by the Student Minds Blog Editorial Team.

Friendships, University and Vulnerability

Alex shares his experiences of making friends whilst at university and what lies at the heart of these friendships

- Alex

The below illustrates some of the different thoughts and emotions I felt meeting my friends for the first time at the University Café before our first lecture. We’d all technically met on a Teams call hosted by our lecturers, and sporadically chatted on a WhatsApp group, but still … here they were, here I was, in the flesh! I can’t under or overstate what the conflicting feelings of excitement and anxiety meeting new people can stir with me, and I’m guessing all, some, or more of the below may have stirred within anyone entering university and new friendships for the first time.

Two years later I’ve come to realize that everything I was thinking and feeling was, for lack of a better word, “normal”. Entering new relationships, specifically friendships, is a weird mix of excitement, fear, compatibility, risk, sensing, and fun! They’re completely voluntary, shared, and built by connection. 

It wasn’t until after pulling together through our first year that a truly deep bond was made with three of my fellow peers, who I’m happy to say are three of my closest friends. We’ve sat together through tears and frustrations at assignments together. Laughed at both successes and tribulations together. We’ve fallen out over miscommunication yet reconnected through compassion. Perhaps the most poignant feeling that pulled, and continues to pull us together was our capacity to be vulnerable with each other. 

Vulnerability is again an aspect which I cannot over or understate as an integral part of friendships. To share some of the deepest and most secret parts of yourself with someone new is tough, and takes patience, and a degree of risk. However, the rewarding connections made by vulnerability make the first step even more worth it. I’d encourage anyone entering any sort of higher or further education, and the fellow students you meet, to be brave and share in the wonderful vulnerability friendship is built upon, even just a little.

The bonds of friendships can be made through the simplest and smallest of vulnerabilities and bravery. 

Explore tips and resources to help you navigate university life in Student Minds’ Transitions guide.

Hi, I'm Alex. I'm a mature student studying counselling and psychotherapy. I'm sharing this mix of essay and balloon art to encourage anyone struggling or anxious about making friendships at university.

What people don’t see: my experience with loneliness at university

Emily shares her experience of loneliness whilst at university and her tips for how to make changes to help with feelings of isolation.

- Emily

Until March of this year, my university experience had been a fairly positive one. There were ups and downs, but I always felt I had a good group of friends and a great boyfriend to support me through difficult times. 

However, much of this changed at the end of my second term at university. After a tough breakup, I felt incredibly lonely and very lost. I found it so difficult to move from having someone to chat with daily to nothing. To make matters worse, it was approaching exam season: mounting academic pressure on myself and my friends meant that I was spending days and days alone. I had tried to reach out to some of my friends, but the busyness and general chaos of exam season meant that replies were infrequent. I feared that my support network was disappearing. Ultimately, my anxiety worsened, and frequent panic attacks returned after almost a year of not experiencing them. Hiding these feelings of loneliness from friends and family only made things worse.   

To begin with, I didn’t really know how to solve the loneliness I was experiencing. It wasn’t until a family member reached out that I felt able to talk about what I was feeling and what I could do to tackle my loneliness at university.   

Here are some things that have helped me to feel less lonely: 

• I spoke to members of my support network about how I was feeling. I even found that some of my friends were also feeling lonely during exam season and were glad I had contacted them.
• I attempted to attend as many society events as possible when the term began again. Joining new societies is also a great way to combat loneliness, as finding people with common interests is an excellent way to build new support networks.  
• I tried to spend less time on social media. Watching other people’s seemingly “perfect” lives often exacerbated feelings of loneliness. I try to leave the house at least once a day. During exam season, I usually visited my local coffee shop to see familiar faces and chat with those who worked there. It made me feel somewhat less isolated.   

I wouldn’t say that I have found a perfect resolution for loneliness. I still experience periods where I feel out of touch with friends and family. However, I now feel more confident to ask for support when needed. Reaching out to members of a support network is so important in tackling feelings of loneliness.    

Loneliness is a truly awful experience. After my recent experiences, I see tremendous value in frequently contacting friends and family. Anyone could be experiencing loneliness at any moment. You don’t always see what people are going through, and a single message could completely change someone’s day. 

We know that experiencing mental health difficulties at university can feel overwhelming. Explore the support that is available at your university and further.

I'm Emily, a second-year History and Spanish undergraduate at Durham University. After struggling with various aspects of my mental health whilst in my first and second year at university and watching close friends struggle too, I've become particularly aware of the stigma surrounding student mental health. I am sharing my story to demonstrate that loneliness is a more common experience at university than people may think. 

Mental Health Awareness Week 2022

Monday 9 May to Sunday 15 May marks Mental Health Awareness Week and this year's theme is 'loneliness'. The Editorial Team have come together to share their thoughts and experiences on feelings of loneliness as a student.

- Student Minds Blog Editorial Team

Mental Health Awareness Week takes place each year from the 9th to the 15th of May and this year the Mental Health Foundation has set the theme of 'loneliness'. As university students and graduates (especially during the lockdowns), the Editorial Team can relate to feelings of loneliness and we've come together to share our own experiences and how we deal with loveliness.

Natalie (Student)

When moving to university, it is easy to feel lonely as you move away from your friends and family and start a new life in a new city. Living independently can cause some to isolate themselves, but it is important to remember that you’re not alone. It is very normal as a student to feel lonely sometimes, and what I like to do in this situation is to reach out to friends and family and to remember that support is always there for you.

Luke (Student)

There is nothing worse than feeling completely isolated and alone, and you can feel your thoughts spiralling and you begin to catastrophise everything. I have found getting out and going on walks along the seaside or in nature refocuses my perspective on life. 

Martina (Graduate)

During my last year at University, I was living in a studio flat alone. Without my family in the country and friends moving back home during the lockdown, I felt extremely isolated. Knowing this situation my closest friend organised to sync Netflix and watch our favourite series together or we would meet for a walk every Saturday. We could catch up regularly giving me something to look forward to and helping reduce loneliness.

Riley (Student)

Have you ever felt empty and lonely after a party with your mates or a busy exam period? We may not realise how we’re feeling when we are busy or with somebody because we are used to relying on the people around us and our busy life. You may be lonely but you do not notice. Let’s just pause and give some time for ourselves!

Sarah (Student)

Feeding on nostalgia is my go-to when I’m feeling lonely. I think we all have a ‘comfort show’ or two that never fail to make us feel better. Whether that’s laughing at a cheesy rom-com (I love to hate them) or curling up watching a Ghibli film, escaping into another world for a while can be a welcome distraction.

Preksha (Student)

Firstly, it’s very important to know the distinction between feeling lonely and being alone. You could be surrounded by a room full of people and still feel lonely, and you could be alone in your room but not feel lonely. Nevertheless, I would strongly suggest that you should make an hour a day at the least to just step out of your dorm room. Whether it’s to exercise or run errands like grocery shopping or meeting some friends. Don’t make the mistake of isolating yourself in your room every day because eventually, you will start to feel quite lonely. 

Rosanna (Graduate)

Social media can make loneliness feel so much worse because it looks like everyone has an amazing, social life with loads of friends, but remember that it's not real life and not many people need constant social interaction anyway! Your best friends are probably right under your nose. Don’t feel embarrassed for needing to reach out to them. Loneliness is increasingly common and it isn’t a reflection on you as a person.

Share how you're getting involved with Mental Health Awareness Week on our Facebook group.

Find out more about what you can do to improve your wellbeing on Student Space.

Written by the Student Minds Editorial Team. Find out more about them here.