Making Friends At University

Stavros shares his top tips for making friends to new students who are starting their university journey. 

- Stavros

Before I moved to the UK for my studies, I used to be confident and surrounded by friends. Socialising was never a problem for me; I even considered myself an extrovert. I used to go out almost every night, party all the time, weekly road trips. My hometown was small, so most people my age knew me well. I had a solid group of friends who shared my interests, and life felt easy and vibrant. 

When I decided to study in the UK, I didn’t think about the challenges of starting over. Why should I face any kind of difficulty? 

Stepping onto the university campus felt like returning to school. I thought I’d find a community of adults, but instead, I felt like a child among adults. All my social skills vanished, and every English word I had painstakingly learned slipped away. It felt like I was in a bad teen comedy movie again.  

In my first two years, I managed to go to the university nightclub a few times and attended two house parties but my social skills were still underdeveloped, and I was never the first to reach out. I wanted friends, but part of me didn’t. Friends from home pressured me to socialise, but I had no energy to build a new social life from scratch. I often compared my current situation to my vibrant life back home, where friendships flowed easily.  

I started to compare my social life to the one I had a couple of months ago. I then realised that I was the one who was getting in my way with all these expectations and high standards.  

When I moved to the UK, I knew that everything was going to change. I wanted a change in my life and although I felt like the happiest man with the friends that I had, I felt like this challenge was a calling that would help me become my best version. My Grandma has always told me and still does to this day “We sacrifice something in order to win something” and it has stuck with me (I swear it sounds beautiful in Greek). 

The third year came and I moved to a student accommodation. If I had to give some wisdom to the readers of the story, I would tell everyone who is a student to live in a student accommodation, at least for the first year. I wish I knew that. The reason I had not stayed in the previous years was mostly because I was terrified by the thought of being surrounded by so many people. It turned out to be the best decision I made during university. I made friends, I exchanged knowledge and advice, we shared dishes and experiences from our cultures, we laughed and I finally found my voice again. I was finally funny again, extrovert, sociable, interesting, young. I was me again and I had forgotten about it for a long time during my studies. I joined the British Sign Language Class to learn a new skill and all of a sudden I met my best friend.  

My take-home message, what I realised at least for myself during those three years and what I wish someone would have told me is that:  

• PLEASE start university without expectations and high standards. You might have been popular in your neighbourhood or have had too many friends, but here this mindset might get in your way once you realise that you have to start from scratch.  
• PLEASE do not compare what you had with what you have. Everything and everyone is different and that is the beauty of it.  
• YES some days will be bad and some days will be good. Some months might be full of laughter and some months might be full of tears. But unexpected things happen all the time and it will happen ever more once you start exposing yourself. 

I also discovered that I’m not purely an extrovert, and that realisation was liberating. Listening to my body’s needs and embracing my true self made me feel more at peace. I learned that it’s okay to have moments of introversion and that balance is essential. 

Long story short, University is a rollercoaster. Buckle Up! 

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog. You can also find support at Student Space.

I am a Psychology graduate and currently doing my Master's in Cognitive Neuroscience and Neuropsychology in London. When I first got into University I struggled a lot with my mental health and making friends. By sharing this story I hope students who struggle with making friends can relate to the situation I was in and find comfort when they realise that my stories always have a happy ending.

Pressures to drink as a student

Flute Spindloe shares the pressures to drink at university and how alcohol isn’t needed to have a great university experience. 

- Flute Spindloe

Before I started university, I was informed by people around me (many who hadn’t attended university for many decades) that alcohol was one of the most important aspects of university life and if I chose not to drink, I would be missing out on the ‘student experience’. There is a continuing perception of the typical student, someone who lives off pot noodles, procrastinates their coursework until last minute and spends most of their time drinking and clubbing with their friends.   

This was extremely stressful to deal with before I had even moved into my student accommodation. The thought that even though I have extreme anxiety about drinking, if I didn't take part in those crazy nights out and get drunk then I would struggle to make friends and I would end up alone at university. Did this mean I wouldn’t be able to enjoy university life? Well I can promise you that no, it absolutely does NOT mean this. 

Over the past several years, there has actually been a reduction in the number of students who feel like they need to drink to have a good time and in a recent survey half of non-drinkers reported that not drinking had a positive influence on their life at university in general and 45% say they never feel like their friends expect them to drink alcohol.  

The reality is there has been a shift in the way we view alcohol and a greater acceptance that not everyone drinks and that’s absolutely fine! I have many friends who drink but I can still get involved without drinking because not only are they completely okay with my decision, but the environment itself has changed. Student Unions are a place where lots of students go to drink and socialise, but there’s also plenty of non-alcoholic drinks available, so there has been a mindset shift which makes being a teetotal a much easier experience.  

Taking part in societies can also be a great way to socialise without alcohol (just choose the right societies as some are more pro-drinking culture than others!). I did walking and mountaineering, which meant I could regularly spend time with friends in a way I felt comfortable with whilst still having a great time! This society did have meetings set in pub environments, however, they never pressured anyone to drink and the majority of people that turned up chose a non-alcoholic beverage anyway. A lot of societies intentionally put on events that don’t involve alcohol so this is another great opportunity to enjoy being a student around other students without alcohol being central to the event. I also enjoy travelling to cities around my university and shopping or seeing sights, all things I do where there’s no drinking necessary and since my friends love sightseeing just as much as me it’s a fun experience for all of us.  

There is still a big part of university life where alcohol is involved but it isn’t as important as you might think to have a fun time. Students and the university itself are a lot more accepting of non-drinkers and hopefully we will continue to see this acceptance continuing to grow. 

University is only fun if you do what YOU want to do, no-one should make you feel like you’re missing out because you won’t have alcohol and there’s far more to university and opportunities to make friends in a variety of ways which is comfortable and enjoyable for everyone involved.

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog. You can find further support relating to this post at Student Space.

My name is Flute Spindloe I am a student at Bath Spa University,  studying for a primary and early years education degree. I chose to share my experience of the pressures of drinking at university because I am aware that I was not alone with this feeling and thought that sharing an insight into my experience can give others a better understanding of modern-day university life. 

University Survival Guide 2024: Must-Haves and Top Tips for a Smooth Transition

As the new academic year fast approaches, we reached out to our Instagram community to share their top tips for starting the new year as a Fresher.

- Student Minds Blog Editorial Team

Heading off to university is an exciting, life-changing experience. It’s a time of independence, self-discovery, and of course, higher education. But with all the excitement comes a lot of preparation, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. To help make your transition as smooth as possible, we’ve put together the ultimate University Survival Guide. From essential items to bring with you to pre-arrival tips, this guide covers everything you need to set yourself up for success.

1. The One Must-Have Item to Bring to Uni: A Mental Health Toolkit

While a high-powered laptop or tablet might seem like the obvious “must-have,” there’s something far more important: a mental health toolkit. University life is thrilling but can also be stressful. Managing your time, workload, and social life, all while adjusting to a new environment can take a toll on your mental well-being. That's why preparing to care for your mental health is one of the best things you can do before you leave.

Here’s what you can include in your mental health toolkit:

• Meditation or mindfulness app.
• Journaling supplies: Keeping a journal is a great way to process your feelings and relieve stress.
• Exercise routine: Whether it's yoga, a daily walk, or a gym schedule, physical activity can greatly boost your mental health.
• Support system: Make sure you have friends, family, or a counsellor you can reach out to when you need a chat or advice.

Why a mental health toolkit matters:

While technology and school supplies are essential, having a plan to maintain your mental well-being can be the difference between surviving and thriving at university. With a toolkit that prioritizes self-care, you'll be better equipped to handle the highs and lows of student life.

2. Tips for Getting Ready for Uni

Now that you have your mental health toolkit in place, let’s move on to other practical preparations. Getting ready for university involves more than just packing your bags. Here are some tips to help you start the year strong.

a. Read Your Course Outline and Plan Ahead

Before classes begin, take the time to review your course outline. Professors often upload these to your university’s online platform before the semester starts. By understanding the structure of your courses, you can map out major deadlines and exam dates. This foresight will help you manage your workload and avoid last-minute stress. Plus, it gives you the chance to get a head start on reading materials or projects.

b. Stock Up on Command Strips and Room Essentials

One thing students often overlook is how to decorate and organize their living space. Most dorms don’t allow you to nail things to the walls, so command strips will become your best friend. Use them to hang photos, artwork, and even shelves. A cozy, personalized room will make the transition smoother and more comfortable.

Other essentials include:

• Extension cords and power strips (dorms rarely have enough outlets).
• Storage bins for extra organization, especially for under-the-bed storage.
• Comfortable bedding: A good night's sleep is crucial for academic performance.

c. Reconnect with Friends Before You Leave

University is a time of making new friends, but that doesn’t mean you should forget your old ones. Make the most of the summer by spending quality time with your close friends and family. Once uni starts, schedules become hectic, and it may be a while before you see them again. Reconnecting now will give you a sense of support that can carry you through any homesickness that might arise during your first few months away.

3. Budgeting 101: Financial Preparedness

Financial management is one of the biggest challenges new students face. Start by setting a budget for yourself before you arrive. Think about your monthly expenses—rent, food, transportation, social activities—and set realistic limits. It’s a good idea to download a budgeting app.

Additionally, try to set aside some savings for emergencies. While it’s tempting to spend your first few months exploring, eating out, and shopping, you’ll thank yourself later for being financially cautious in the beginning.

4. Stay Organized: Invest in the Right Tech

While your mental health toolkit is number one, it’s hard to argue that a good laptop or tablet isn’t crucial. Most university work is done online or through digital platforms, so you’ll want a reliable device. Whether it’s writing papers, researching, or attending online classes, a good piece of tech is a game-changer.

If you're on a budget, look for student discounts. Many companies like Apple, Microsoft, and Adobe offer special deals for students on both hardware and software. Additionally, a pair of noise-canceling headphones can be a life-saver in noisy dorms or shared libraries.

5. Join Online Communities Early

Many universities have online groups where students can meet and chat before the semester starts. Whether it’s Facebook groups, Discord servers, or Reddit communities, joining these early will give you a chance to connect with future classmates. It’s a great way to make friends, find potential roommates, or even get advice from upperclassmen about the university experience.

Final Thoughts

Heading to university in 2024 will be an incredible journey, full of growth, challenges, and unforgettable experiences. By preparing early—whether by focusing on your mental health, organizing your study materials, or connecting with others—you’ll be setting yourself up for a rewarding and successful academic year.

Take a deep breath, pack your essentials, and get ready to make the most out of your university life!

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog.

Written by the Student Minds Blog Editorial Team.

Freshers' may not be the best time of your life

Hollie reflects on her struggles with mental health during her first year of university, sharing what she wishes she had known.

- Hollie Rose

As the car rolled up the Bailey and the wheels moved over the cobblestones as we approached Durham Cathedral, I spotted my new home to my left, with iron gates opening onto the future I had been dreaming of for years. I wish I could meet that nineteen-year-old girl to give her a hug, holding in my arms all her trepidation around being in catered accommodation and the unique experience of having a roommate. I wish I could tell her it would all be okay. But on that day in late September when I approached the college that I would eventually be overly involved in, little did I know that I was opening one of the darkest chapters of my life. And – spoiler alert – little would I believe, at the end of my first year as I made the same journey in reverse down the historic Bailey with a car full of my belongings, that in two years I would sob at the mere thought of leaving a city I am so proud to say I created a life in.  

For those of us who have experience already with tumultuous mental health before we arrive at university, we can fear what that will look like in a new city, with a transformed support system and a routine completely turned on its head. I can attest that it will all be okay…eventually.  

But that does not mean it will instantly be okay in freshers’ week or as a fresher at all. If you are someone who struggles to adapt, you are not on your own. Believe me, even those who adjust the fastest have moments of doubt or feeling like an imposter.  I prided myself up until university in being able to make things work, even if they weren’t ideal. I did not realise how much of that ability relied on the thing I claimed to hate: routine.   

The nature of living in catered accommodation meant meals became an intense stress factor for me as I had little to no choice and control over my food. As such, I would avoid meals, eliminating consistent points in a daily routine. This not only meant I lost structure in my day, which meant I ended up cocooning myself in bed longer into the day than I care to admit but also meant I was allowing my anxiety around meals to cut me off from the socialisation around mealtimes. Similarly, it became easier to skip lectures and seminars, provide email excuses for my absences and barely leave my room as the longer the gaps between my attendance became, the greater my anxiety of walking into those rooms grew.   

Within my first year, I became a ghost of myself because I did not know how to create a flexible and accommodating routine for myself. Instead, my comfort zone shrank to a small outline around my feet. It was not until my third year that I truly began to flourish because I gave myself the grace to manage my anxiety and depression.  

I implemented a flexible routine that focused on meeting my basic needs each day rather than attempting to meet unrealistic goals. I did not want to get up obscenely early, I just wanted to get out of bed each day. I did not care if I changed from one set of pyjamas to another, I was changing out of the clothes I slept in. I may not have the energy to cook from scratch, but I would eat at least one fully prepared meal. And I would go outside for a least five minutes, even if those five minutes were no further than my garden.  

What I found, is pushing myself to do these tasks often meant I started my day, whether at 7am or 7pm, in a headspace more willing and able to challenge my comfort zone, rather than waking up already feeling like a failure because I had missed an arbitrary morning alarm. I was focusing on a routine to meet my needs. And I was able to constantly challenge my comfort zone, watching it grow bit by bit, by challenging my depression and anxiety to constantly meet my basic needs.  

Another big change is I allowed myself to ask for help – something fresher me would never believe. But asking for help from student support resulted in the extension that saved my dissertation, which was the thing I had cared most about from my entire degree.   

Please know that it is okay if freshers’ week, or even your first year, isn’t the best time of your life. There are services available to help support you to get to the place that took me years to get to.   

Give yourself the grace to understand and meet your own mental health needs.

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog.

Hiya, I'm Hollie, a masters student who has struggled throughout my university studies with various mental health conditions. Wellbeing and mental health advocacy, as well as LGBTQ+ representation, are at the heart of what I do, and as such, I hope to help students feel seen and supported through sharing my own story.

University changes your life, there is no doubt about that

Charlotte shares the struggles around the pressures and expectations of freshers year at university. (TW: death)

- Charlotte Millar

Your university experience is uniquely yours. 

I came to university with the expectation that I had to be prepared to have the “typical university experience”, to do it right. However, I soon realised that this couldn’t be further from the truth. Social media often highlights students partying and making loads of friends, creating pressure to live a certain lifestyle. 

Before university, I wasn’t a big drinker but I felt compelled to join in during fresher’s week getting drunk every night until I realised this wasn’t for me. I was one of the first in my flat to turn down a night out, and now we spend more time playing Mario Kart than we do going clubbing! Don’t be fooled by the glamorous portrayal of university life online. For me and everyone I know, university is the most amazing but loneliest experience of our lives.  

I built friendships with people I felt I clicked with, and before I knew it I had a group of friends who, one year later, I am so lucky to consider my best friends. I was posting videos, replying less to my friends from home, and often talking about how amazing my uni life was. However, the honest truth is, my best friend from home was at a different university and having a very different experience. She wasn’t close to her flatmates and struggled to find people who shared her interests. Social media made her believe that this wasn’t okay, and she felt like she had failed to immerse herself in the expected university experience. This, along with other factors, devastatingly contributed to her taking her own life after 3 weeks of university. This turned my world upside down in more ways than you can imagine.  

I returned to university after taking some time out to process this huge loss in my life and suddenly became so much more aware of the intense pressures of university life. Why were there so many expectations? Why is there an assumption that your flatmates will be your new best friends? Why does social media dictate the type of experience we should have? If you don’t enjoy that lifestyle, why pressure yourself to conform?  

University changes your life, there is no doubt about that. It is important to remember that ultimately, it is just a degree. You are not defined by this degree, and you have to do what is right for you. Come to university with no expectations and an open mind. If you need to go home every weekend, then that’s what you need to do. If you want to stay at university as much as possible, then that’s what you need to do. University is a huge chapter in anyone’s life and it is crucial that you look after yourself. No degree is more important than your mental health – your happiness comes first.  

Throw yourself in and give it your all, but if you realise that university isn’t the right path for you or not a path you feel is best for you at this specific time in your life, then know you have options. 

Mental health doesn’t discriminate, anyone can struggle at any time and that’s okay. If you are reading this, please remember there is so much help out there – you are loved and this experience does not define you. This new chapter of your life is yours and nobody else’s. Do what feels right for you and take care of yourself, please ask for support when you need it. Be kind to yourself - I can assure you that you are doing better than you think. 

 

Find out how you can get involved with the Student Minds Blog.

I believe that the pressures of first year at university are not spoken about enough, and sadly, I saw the devastating effects these pressures and expectations can have. If even one person reading this realises that there is no perfect uni experience, just an individual one - then I am glad I shared a piece of my story. 

Starting a new university year at a new university

Amber shares her story and tips on how to make the most out of starting at a new university during your final year.

- Amber

Year 3. Final Year. 

One of the most critical times in a university experience is when all of your work finally begins to pay off and I found myself nervous and anxious when I thought I’d be excited and full of ambitions. Finding myself in a new institution where most people had already established friendships was quite scary! 

I had decided to make the move to a new university as the previous one had lost its accreditation from the BPS (an official psychology board that supplied recognition for degrees) so I felt it was essential to move somewhere that had this recognition to ensure I wouldn’t be hindered by it in the future. Whilst I already had got over most of the nerves throughout the summer this transition was still one of the most daunting yet exciting experiences of my academic journey as it felt like I was leaving behind my family to start somewhere new. Whilst it was overwhelming at times I am now settled and it’s like I have been here since the beginning of year 1. Throughout this article, I will share my experience of navigating this transition and hopefully, you will be able to use these in your own adventures moving forwards. 

Adjusting to a New Environment

A completely new place is a very daunting experience for anyone, it is just an added challenge that this is a new university in my final year of study. No problem though! I already have had a routine set up, had friends that I had to leave behind and became comfortable in my previous university so starting new can be a major change… Not a setback, just a change. 

You will overcome the anxious feeling that might be eating away at you! Being in a new environment can make you grow in ways you never thought you had. It can bring you new opportunities, new friends and a new adventure. During this adjustment period, I felt completely engulfed by worries, to combat this I got in touch with the new course lead at the new university and arranged a meeting. This settled my nervousness about the available opportunities. Now, 2 weeks into this new environment, I am integrated into a new routine and seeking out new things. It’s important to keep an open mind, adapt and embrace any changes that come your way! 

Bridging the Gap

There can be many gaps that you can pinpoint during this adjustment to your new university. These can be things such as knowledge gaps and relationship gaps. The knowledge gaps I was worried about were that the other students might have been taught different content than I had (despite it being the same course!) I was worried about there being gaps within the relationships between my classmates as well as my lecturers, after all, they had already created friendships and built rapport with the lecturers over the 2 years whilst I had to do this in only a few months. Knowledge gaps were a big worry of mine during this transition as I hadn’t been with this peer group throughout years 1 and 2, and this led me to worry that my knowledge was not enough. However, I contacted academic support and they assured me that the course I had done had been more than sufficient which meant my knowledge was on par with the other students. 

When it came to the gaps in relationships this was something that took time to build and develop. As I was completely new in classes where friendships had already been formed it was daunting to approach these people with feelings of anxiety and nervousness. However, as the weeks have passed I have become more confident and have approached people, which has created some new long-lasting friendships! The overall advice from this part is to not be afraid to ask questions and to use the resources available. If you feel like you are behind USE academic support! Don’t be afraid to approach people, in your own time when you feel ready, they will be understanding. We are only human after all. 

Make the most of your time

Whilst starting a new university in year 3 means there is limited time to fully immerse yourself in the experience it shouldn’t discourage you from making the most of it! It’s never too late to create new connections and experience new things! It is a time to make sure you enjoy what may be your last academic year! This is a chance to make memories and prioritise your goals to get the very best out of the experience. Don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself! Whilst this journey can seem overwhelming just remember, with the right mindset and attitude this will be a very rewarding experience. Ensure you have enough time for work/life balance, I find that using a planner is one of the most efficient ways to ensure I have enough time allocated to specific things. I have a study timetable that I use to ensure I am prepping for my dissertation alongside my other assignments, this helps with the stress and pressure it can bring. I try to make sure I get all of my studying done during this time so I have time to myself to do things in order to relax and take a break.

This has been things such as reading books out of my own interest and other creative hobbies! This has helped make sure I keep a routine and don’t spend too much time worrying about the new environment and how different things work here so by having it all laid out I can see what will get done and when. It is important to do things like this to make sure you don’t get overwhelmed or burn yourself out!  Remember to prioritise your own needs and you will make the most out of this time!

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available. 

I'm Amber, a third-year undergrad student studying psychology, psychotherapy and counselling! I'm sharing this story and some advice as when I transferred universities it was a daunting experience so by sharing some advice from this experience I hope someone will feel less stressed than I did during the transition. 

Fresh Start

Sub-Editors, Emily and Sarah, come together to share their thoughts on a fresh start.

- Emily A & Sarah (Sub-Editors)

⭐ Thoughts from Emily... ⭐

As a child of two teachers, Septembers have always been more significant as a new start to me than January ever will: I live by an academic diary and get far more excited for the Back To School buzz than the chimes of Big Ben on a cold and dark midnight, lit by fireworks. 

For me, September is a time to refresh. After 20 years as a student, I am now a teacher whose calendar still revolves around Half Term Holidays. It represents new adventures, fresh starts and lots of change. It can be daunting, but it’s also a time to embrace. My Spring Clean is best used in Autumn as a time to reflect on the successes and challenges of the year behind me and look forward with anticipation to a freshly organised, well-intentioned plan. 

But, as someone living with ADHD, I find it very difficult to use unstructured time wisely and so Summer Holidays as a child could be a challenge if I didn’t have a focus to strive for. September has always represented a return to routine and setting up new goals and resolutions, which could be why I love it so much still. 

The most difficult time for this was my long empty summer between leaving Sixth Form and starting University: losing all focus around the exams I’d come to live by for the past year, it felt like I’d lost all meaning. 

So, this is for those of us who struggle with the lulls before the fresh starts: it might be that you are taking a gap year that you aren’t quite sure what to fill with, you’re raring to go but struggling to wait for the new term, or - as you enter the ‘final year’ this September, you anticipate experiencing similar feelings when your time comes round next summer. It’s okay to feel like you’ve lost your way - studying, especially, can become a way of life that you lose very suddenly when you walk out of your final exam. 

Find something to prepare yourself for this ‘drop’ by forming a productive focus. 

• This could be a part-time job (I personally struggled to find one for my summer before university but it’s definitely an option)
• Start a new course to prepare you for what is next! Websites like FutureLearn offer free degree insights to help prepare you for further study, or to learn something new
• Volunteering in your community can be a rewarding thing to do that bolsters your CV at the same time! It’s often a lot easier to gain this opportunity if you foresee it being a short-term commitment. 

But remember, learning to relax and take time for yourself is a valuable skill that many people struggle with. There are immense health benefits to being able to take mindful time for yourself and it can be more challenging than it seems to dedicate that time to caring for yourself. Implementing a meaningful care routine can be one way to reduce challenging feelings during this time. 

• Join a group! You’ve lots of time on your hands now to explore a new skills, reach out into the community, or follow a passion you’ve not had the time for til now. 
• Reach out to others: studying often provides an ‘invisible network’ of time that you don’t consider, in the moment, to be socialising. Take time to keep in touch with others before you all take your fresh starts. 
• Relaxing does not equal laziness! Find enriching activities that allow you to clear space in your mind. For me, I find it therapeutic to organise my stuff in order to feel more prepared and settled in my environment. I often listen to audiobooks to ‘tune out’ and do this at my own pace for some time to myself. 

Fresh Starts are invigorating and inspiring but they can also be unnerving and uncertain. For me, the lull in the old ways before the fresh start was the biggest struggle of all. Be kind to yourself!

⭐ Top tip from Sarah... ⭐

When starting something new, I often have mixed feelings. I’m excited for whatever new adventure I’m embarking upon, but equally daunted and intimidated by the uncertainties of what is to come. To quieten my anxiety, I like to think about all the fresh starts I’ve had in the past and remind myself of how I’ve always survived even the most difficult of situations. Beginning university, I was nervous about so many things: classes, making friends, living away from home and finding my way around. I did find it a bit overwhelming to have so many new things to deal with all at once, but I surprised myself with how quickly I settled in and got used to a new lifestyle. My tip for freshers would be to add in plenty of time for self-care and relaxation, rather than pushing yourself to do absolutely everything and burning yourself out before you’ve even begun!

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

Written by the Student Minds Editorial Team.

Our University Survival Guide

The Student Minds Blog Editorial Team has gathered the tips and experiences of students across the UK to create their first Survival Guide to University. 

- Student Minds Blog Editorial Team

⭐ What do you think is important for freshers to do in their first week? ⭐

• Find a friend :)
• Try out sports clubs and societies
• Try your best to get outside and try new things
• Find their way around classes and learn where lecture buildings are
• Go to as many freshers events as possible and talk to as many people as possible
• Go to freshers' events, you'll get freebies and meet new people
• Find something to do each day, know where you need to go for your first lectures
• Go to where your lectures are early on so that you're not lost on the day
• Visit freshers' fayre, so you know all the activities/social opportunities available to you.
• Register at a GP
• Taking time to set up your room
• Don't feel that you have to drink

⭐ What is one essential that you should bring to university? ⭐

• Snacks
• Your favourite plushie friend
• Laptop
• Extension lead
• An over-the-door shoe holder for your soaps, toiletries and other items
• Photos/something to remind you of home (plus pins for corkboards if you want to put things up)
• An open mind but have strict boundaries too (find a good balance)
• Cheese
• Spare phone chargers
• Any medications 
• Stationary bits (notepads, pens, etc.)
• ID (e.g. passport) 
• Kitchen bits and bobs
• Games to play (e.g. cards)

⭐ Some final thoughts/tips for our Sub-Editors ⭐

• Emily A - Challenge the idea that “everyone is in the same boat”: people experience things uniquely and that means that what might seem like jumping in a puddle for some is like diving into the sea for others. University is a melting pot of people and experiences: be kind to others and be kind to yourself. 
• Emily T - Don’t be afraid to try new things! University is the perfect time to develop your academic and personal interests. 
• Madeleine - Give yourself time to settle in and get involved in societies you’re passionate about. That way you’re bound to find like-minded people. 
• Sarah - Keep your mental and physical health a priority - don’t push yourself too hard because of FOMO. Do things you’re genuinely interested in, and don’t put pressure on yourself to find your besties in the first week or two!
• Tayyibah - Remember you have got this and focus on your goal! It's not all about being perfect but it's all about the growth and the journey that it takes you on.

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

Written by the Student Minds Editorial Team.

Friendships, University and Vulnerability

Alex shares his experiences of making friends whilst at university and what lies at the heart of these friendships

- Alex

The below illustrates some of the different thoughts and emotions I felt meeting my friends for the first time at the University Café before our first lecture. We’d all technically met on a Teams call hosted by our lecturers, and sporadically chatted on a WhatsApp group, but still … here they were, here I was, in the flesh! I can’t under or overstate what the conflicting feelings of excitement and anxiety meeting new people can stir with me, and I’m guessing all, some, or more of the below may have stirred within anyone entering university and new friendships for the first time.

Two years later I’ve come to realize that everything I was thinking and feeling was, for lack of a better word, “normal”. Entering new relationships, specifically friendships, is a weird mix of excitement, fear, compatibility, risk, sensing, and fun! They’re completely voluntary, shared, and built by connection. 

It wasn’t until after pulling together through our first year that a truly deep bond was made with three of my fellow peers, who I’m happy to say are three of my closest friends. We’ve sat together through tears and frustrations at assignments together. Laughed at both successes and tribulations together. We’ve fallen out over miscommunication yet reconnected through compassion. Perhaps the most poignant feeling that pulled, and continues to pull us together was our capacity to be vulnerable with each other. 

Vulnerability is again an aspect which I cannot over or understate as an integral part of friendships. To share some of the deepest and most secret parts of yourself with someone new is tough, and takes patience, and a degree of risk. However, the rewarding connections made by vulnerability make the first step even more worth it. I’d encourage anyone entering any sort of higher or further education, and the fellow students you meet, to be brave and share in the wonderful vulnerability friendship is built upon, even just a little.

The bonds of friendships can be made through the simplest and smallest of vulnerabilities and bravery. 

Explore tips and resources to help you navigate university life in Student Minds’ Transitions guide.

Hi, I'm Alex. I'm a mature student studying counselling and psychotherapy. I'm sharing this mix of essay and balloon art to encourage anyone struggling or anxious about making friendships at university.

Making the grade: how to be your best self-advocate when navigating university and mental health

Rachel shares how she prepared for university and how she continues to advocate for the best support for her needs whilst studying. 

- Rachel Lawrence

As a mentally ill student, I knew from the get-go that going to university would be no easy task. I would be leaving behind my family and friends and my newly put-in-place mental health support system. I specifically worried that I wouldn’t have friends that would support me and that I would become overwhelmed by work and my mental illness!

It was therefore essential that I started advocating for myself and preparing how I could navigate through these challenges when I started my university journey by preparing to put support in place before I went, as soon as I got there.

Here are some of the things I found to be most useful for working towards this transition, myself. 

1. Being active and prepared ahead of time.

The first thing I did once I had my place confirmed was to find out who the mental health advisor for my college/university was. I then sent an email explaining that I was a prospective offer holder and was enquiring about the mental health support available.  My university was brilliant because they have been truly accommodating with extensions and extra support. Especially brilliant was my mental health advisor who I liaised with, talking about my diagnosis and what support could be put into place when I came. They offered meetings with the departments so academic staff were aware of my needs, staggered deadlines and exam concessions. As well as this, acting as a personal advisor, helping with personal aspects of uni life and being a safe person to vent worries to. Putting these connections in place before I arrived was invaluable to my stress levels as it was one thing I didn’t have to worry about on top of settling in.   

2. Having evidence ready to support your claims for additional help.

To advocate for your needs efficiently and effectively it is important to have “evidence” to show what you’re struggling with and why.  For me, this involved sourcing a letter of an official diagnosis from a psychiatrist, detailing my mental illness and the ways it would affect my life at uni. Useful documents do not have to be of a formal diagnosis but might involve an alternative acknowledgement of an ongoing mental health problem. These are often essential to obtaining adequate support as most universities will require confirmation by a professional. They can also be used to help you apply for funds such as the DSA (Disabled Students’ Allowance): having a mental illness counts as a disability, too, so pots of money like this can be used to aid students who face additional barriers to their study through their mental health needs. I didn’t apply myself but know that providing as much evidence as you can is essential! 

3. Honest and open communication. 

The basis for self-advocating is reflecting on how you’re feeling: asking yourself what can help you feel even better, and communicating what you need to those around you. From a University context, staff are very understanding and willing to help you as much as they can. Universities hold huge investments in you, your well-being, and your success! Disability support and academic welfare are essential departments which provide support and can help you advocate for your needs. By communicating, staff can help support you across every aspect of Student Life: academic, social, emotional, financial… The more you email and talk, the easier it becomes to get what you need to survive and thrive!

Finally, you should always prioritise your mental well-being when deciding whether university is for you. I knew that watching my friends go to university while I stayed at home would be worse for my mental health than taking the risk and going. Ultimately it is a personal and tough decision which should be well considered but know whatever decision you make, the right one is the one that will uplift your mental well-being the most! 

Explore tips and resources to help you navigate university life in Student Minds’ Transitions Guide.

My name is Rachel (she/her) and I am a second-year philosophy and politics student at Durham University. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder only a few months before coming to university. I, therefore, knew it was essential to prepare for the big jump! And, since then, I have learnt how to self-advocate for my needs and wanted to share my tips!

Freshers week: How does everyone have friends already?

This individual shares their experience starting university and experiencing freshers' week. Everyone seems to have their group of friends already, which makes them feel like they are already an outsider, as well as having to deal with feeling lonely during freshers week.

- Anonymous

I am a very social person, a people person some might say. I have never really had any problems making friends, and neither have I ever felt lonely, being a twin. I always had my sister with me, but now that I have fled the nest to study at university, I have had to venture on my own in the big scary world filled with university teenagers. It is the time of the year where University students are given a green pass to get as smashed as possible, drink their guts out, blackout and come home at 4am without any questions. This is the time known as "Freshers week". As someone who is not a heavy drinker and prefers other social activities, right off the bat I knew I would have a hard time assimilating because I already had to do something I did not really enjoy in order to meet new people. Nonetheless, I persevered and pushed myself out of my comfort zone in order to meet my new classmates, or who knows I might never talk to any of these kids again after this week.

Saturday rolls around and it has been a whole week, I look around my campus and there are already large groups of friends surrounding me. How has everyone already joined a group in less than a week? I have like one person I would loosely call my friend. Am I the only one who is having a hard time making friends? At this point imposter syndrome was in full swing, I definitely did not belong here. Was I a loner? I have never been a loner, what was wrong with me? All these thoughts took up most of my time, and I started to feel insecure about myself. Clearly, there had to be some sort of defect because everywhere I look people have their friends, I am the only one not surrounded by people. Is this what the next 3 years of university are going to be like?

Classes have not even started and already I am full of doubt and nerves and my self-esteem has seemingly disappeared. I might not be the only one, and it might get better, but as of now I feel hopeless, alone and I have no confidence in myself. I want to make friends, I have joined societies and sports clubs, I am saying yes more times than I ever have in my life, but it seems to be going nowhere. I might sound dramatic, and for my case, I really hope I am, it has only been a week, but my confidence is shattered and the determination I started with to make friends, has somehow shrunken into nothing. Is there anyone else out there that feels the same? 

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health or supporting a friend, help is available.

I am 19 years old, recently moved to the UK from Denmark to start my undergraduate degree in Business and Management. I am sharing my story because I feel like people will relate and that there are many students who are in the same situation, and dealing with the same thoughts. Maybe if they see that they are not alone, they won't feel so lonely anymore.

Starting University

Luke and Natalie, sub-editors, share their experiences of starting university.

- Student Minds Editorial Team

Starting university is filled with so many emotions and it's certainly a daunting yet exciting experience. There are so many firsts and 'what ifs' but so many amazing opportunities too.

✨ What were some things you wish you'd known before starting university? ✨

Natalie (Student): "When I started university, I got so caught up with my new course, going out, and socialising with my new friends that I didn’t really make the most of the opportunities and societies that university has to offer! It was only in my third and fourth years that I ended up joining the societies that I really enjoyed, and if I could do it all again I would try something I’d never done before."

Luke (Student): "Finding your feet and meeting friends will take time, so don’t force it. You will find your group. Be open and receptive to new experiences as daunting as they may seem. And don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you feel lonely or are struggling it is perfectly normal after such a big change!"

Explore tips and resources to help you navigate university life in the Student Minds’ Transitions guide.

Written by Luke and Natalie from the Student Minds Editorial Team. Find out more about them here.

Mental Health Awareness Week 2022

Monday 9 May to Sunday 15 May marks Mental Health Awareness Week and this year's theme is 'loneliness'. The Editorial Team have come together to share their thoughts and experiences on feelings of loneliness as a student.

- Student Minds Blog Editorial Team

Mental Health Awareness Week takes place each year from the 9th to the 15th of May and this year the Mental Health Foundation has set the theme of 'loneliness'. As university students and graduates (especially during the lockdowns), the Editorial Team can relate to feelings of loneliness and we've come together to share our own experiences and how we deal with loveliness.

Natalie (Student)

When moving to university, it is easy to feel lonely as you move away from your friends and family and start a new life in a new city. Living independently can cause some to isolate themselves, but it is important to remember that you’re not alone. It is very normal as a student to feel lonely sometimes, and what I like to do in this situation is to reach out to friends and family and to remember that support is always there for you.

Luke (Student)

There is nothing worse than feeling completely isolated and alone, and you can feel your thoughts spiralling and you begin to catastrophise everything. I have found getting out and going on walks along the seaside or in nature refocuses my perspective on life. 

Martina (Graduate)

During my last year at University, I was living in a studio flat alone. Without my family in the country and friends moving back home during the lockdown, I felt extremely isolated. Knowing this situation my closest friend organised to sync Netflix and watch our favourite series together or we would meet for a walk every Saturday. We could catch up regularly giving me something to look forward to and helping reduce loneliness.

Riley (Student)

Have you ever felt empty and lonely after a party with your mates or a busy exam period? We may not realise how we’re feeling when we are busy or with somebody because we are used to relying on the people around us and our busy life. You may be lonely but you do not notice. Let’s just pause and give some time for ourselves!

Sarah (Student)

Feeding on nostalgia is my go-to when I’m feeling lonely. I think we all have a ‘comfort show’ or two that never fail to make us feel better. Whether that’s laughing at a cheesy rom-com (I love to hate them) or curling up watching a Ghibli film, escaping into another world for a while can be a welcome distraction.

Preksha (Student)

Firstly, it’s very important to know the distinction between feeling lonely and being alone. You could be surrounded by a room full of people and still feel lonely, and you could be alone in your room but not feel lonely. Nevertheless, I would strongly suggest that you should make an hour a day at the least to just step out of your dorm room. Whether it’s to exercise or run errands like grocery shopping or meeting some friends. Don’t make the mistake of isolating yourself in your room every day because eventually, you will start to feel quite lonely. 

Rosanna (Graduate)

Social media can make loneliness feel so much worse because it looks like everyone has an amazing, social life with loads of friends, but remember that it's not real life and not many people need constant social interaction anyway! Your best friends are probably right under your nose. Don’t feel embarrassed for needing to reach out to them. Loneliness is increasingly common and it isn’t a reflection on you as a person.

Share how you're getting involved with Mental Health Awareness Week on our Facebook group.

Find out more about what you can do to improve your wellbeing on Student Space.

Written by the Student Minds Editorial Team. Find out more about them here.

Stress Awareness Month 2022

April marks Stress Awareness Month to raise awareness of the causes and cures of stress. The Editorial Team have come together to share their thoughts and experiences on dealing with stress as a student.

- Student Minds Blog Editorial Team

Stress Awareness Month is held every April and this year's theme is 'Community'. The past two years have been challenging for most and left people feeling lonely and isolated. University students have felt the impact of this hugely and the normal university stresses of exams and starting as a fresher have only been added to through the pandemic.

Our Editorial Team has come together to share some thoughts and tips about stress at University based on their own experiences:

It’s so easy to let stress get on top of you as a student and when this happens, sometimes it’s good just to take a step back. What I like to do is try and break things up into smaller tasks, making each thing slightly easier to handle instead of having a massive workload ahead of me. When I’ve been in situations where stress has got the better of me, I have found it best to reach out for help. It’s good to remember that we don’t have to be alone in stressful times.

- Natalie (Student)

Stress is a completely normal emotion to experience it’s how you manage it which is important. Develop healthy coping mechanisms such as consistent meditation practice and remember that stress is never as bad as your brain manifests it to be. 

- Luke (Student)

Stress can increase when tasks feel insurmountable, although when you break them down into more manageable sections, you will realise that you are capable of achieving them efficiently, in the right mindset. It is also important to carve some time out for yourself. It may be difficult at times, especially if you find it hard to switch off: I found that being surrounded by nature and taking long walks, especially at the beach, helps to put things into perspective and reduces stress levels immediately! 

- Martina (Graduate)

Stress is the feeling of being under emotional and mental pressure. This emotion occurs when one is experiencing something which can become too much, such as money worries, exams and deadlines, not getting enough sleep etc. You may feel that you cannot cope. This is not true, you can cope with the right healthy habits. Celebrate your small wins always! Take self-care time, and if something becomes too much for you, please speak to someone. 

- Caoimhe (Graduate)

I guess most of the stressful moments come from the fear of something that we think is difficult and unimaginative. Setting small goals every day can motivate me and help me to stress less. Let’s say: I have an essay due next week that I have not started to write. I will be very anxious when I imagine myself completing the whole essay. ‘Let’s just finish the introduction part today’ is better to push myself to commit to the deadline with the completed work. 

- Riley (Student)

Making time for self-care is really important, even if it’s just something small, like making your bed or remembering to take your medication. Not only are you getting the benefits from adopting healthy habits, but you are reminding yourself that you are worth the energy spent on improving your health. Some habits I’m trying to follow this month are spending more quality time outside and drinking more water - join me if you like!

- Sarah (Student)

In my opinion, the best solution to stress is simply lowering expectations of yourself and of people and situations around you. Accept that beyond a certain effort on your behalf, some things are simply not in your control. It’s always alright to be concerned or worried about outcomes, but stress will only impact your mind and body negatively. Try making better and more efficient use of your time, for example, by following a healthy routine - remember to just stop, breathe and let go sometimes!

- Preksha (Student)

For me, the most difficult stress to cope with is self-imposed and can come from perfectionism and having extremely high expectations of myself. One of the things that have helped me is to separate the effort I put into something from the outcome I achieve. So I aim to put effort into a piece of work and complete it rather than trying to do it perfectly and consequently feeling paralysed by stress.

- Fionnuala (Graduate)

Being stressed or burnt out is often glamorised in society and seen as something necessary in order to be successful, but you’re not helping yourself or anyone else by getting overly stressed. A certain amount of stress is inevitable in life and it can be helpful, but only to an extent. You deserve to take breaks, to look after yourself and to say no to things when you need to. Your own mental well-being should always be the number one priority. 

- Rosanna (Graduate)

I’ve come to accept that there will always be something in life to stress you out, and if you’re a worrier/ overthinker you know what I mean. Sorting my stressors into things I can and cannot control has been the key to working alongside them. It’s important for you to acknowledge that whatever version of a high-stress situation is going to keep on happening, it’s preparing and actively working on it (instead of avoiding it) that you should make sure of.

- Shamira (Graduate)

Whether you are looking for support for your own mental health at university or supporting a friend, help is available.

Written by the Student Minds Editorial Team. Find out more about them here. 

University Mental Health Day 2022

Thursday 3rd March marks University Mental Health Day 2022. The Editorial Team have come together to share their thoughts and experiences on speaking out and seeking support as a student.

- Student Minds Blog Editorial Team

Chen-Chun (Student)

My university provides five free counselling sessions at the Student Services Centre for students who need help, and I have recently sought support from them. It was not an easy decision to make. I worried that I might be overreacting, so I hesitated while trying to seek support. The experience turned out to be really good and extremely helpful and I regretted not seeking support earlier.

 

Seeking support is okay and people working at universities are experienced, they will never judge you for asking for help and regard things that troubles you as insignificant.

Luke (Student)

The switch from living at home to university was exceptionally daunting, therefore the hardest part was reaching out. My university was quick in giving me an initial appointment where they facilitated open conversations where I felt safe to vocalise my initial anxieties. The appointments they provided were as frequent/infrequent as I wanted them to be. This really helped me not bottle things up which I began to.

They directed me towards an amazing NHS service which really helped me understand myself and my feelings. This experience really empowered me and enabled me to become a great talker and listener, and I feel I now have the tools to help others in similar situations.

Remember never to be afraid to ask for help!

Caoimhe (Graduate)

I personally didn't have to seek support while at university. As a student, I spent two years working with my university's mental health charity. As a mental health ambassador, I attended regular sessions and further training with Young Minds. 

I felt very grateful being in a position where people felt confident speaking with me expressing their struggles and worries. From these conversations, I would introduce these individuals to the support services on campus. It's rewarding helping people.

My university provided six free therapy sessions and raised awareness of mental health days throughout the year. 

If you are struggling, please seek support. You aren't alone!

Riley (Student)

I remember I needed help when I first came to London for my studies a few months ago, something really practical... for example, how to rent a flat, register a GP, even things like how to print at the school library. Sometimes I felt so ashamed to ask those kinds of questions because I thought those were so just stupid and small issues. 

Making good use of the university's service centre and joining the international students' community are the ways for seeking support.

It is okay to ask 'stupid' questions. I should forgive myself as a foreigner in a new place.

Sarah (Student)

Sometimes it can feel intimidating to reach out for support from student services. Although not a replacement for seeking professional help, peer support networks are a great way to talk to someone that understands the issues that students face. 

From my experience, peer support volunteers are all kind, empathetic, lovely people who are happy to listen to you and refer you to any relevant resources. 

No problem is too small, and this may just be the bridge you need to gain the confidence and encouragement to seek further help. Good luck!

Preksha (Student)

As an international student, I was far away from my comfort zone and initially culturally shocked - the systems, norms and even slang were all so different. I also experienced ‘imposter syndrome’ during my first term at Cambridge, constantly feeling like I did not deserve to be here. These situational challenges, when compounded, led to me being diagnosed with depression in the first few months of university. I struggled to create and maintain a healthy (and completely new) lifestyle of independence and productivity. My friends would encourage me when I didn’t have the energy to get out of bed or make myself a meal on most days. I was extremely fortunate to have found support professionally and in my friends. Despite initial hesitance, my friends and family encouraged me to reach out to the university's mental health services. This helped reassure me of the potential to recover, and guided me towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Many people are struggling like you, so don’t be afraid to reach out and get the help you need!

Fionnuala (Graduate)

 

My university offered many supports for students experiencing mental health problems. There was a free counselling service that offered students sessions with trained therapists. I used this service and found it very helpful.

If things were particularly tough and unmanageable around exam time there were policies in place allowing students to apply for extenuating circumstances which could postpone the examinations or allow a student to re-sit exams without penalty if they did not get a passing grade. There were disability support services for students that helped them to arrange accommodations to enable them to complete their education while managing mental health issues. 

Taylor (Student)

The stresses of university, exams and all the deadlines put pressure on everyone's mental health so rest assured that you're not alone there. You're equally not alone in wanting to seek support if that's what you feel is best for you. 

Speak out and get the support you need! It's much better to talk about the situation you find yourself in rather than suffer in silence.

And if you're not struggling with your mental health, then be there for your friends and loved ones. Let them lean on you for support and make sure they know that you're there for them.

Find out how you can make a difference on University Mental Health Day.

Written in collaboration by the Editorial Team. Find out more about them here.